My DM is an extremist

[Summersunshine112]

My parents have always had strong political views, strong racist views, strong fattest views. From a young age I always knew I didn't agree with them and I tried my best to argue back. But I was shouted down and punished for voicing my own opinions. I am ashamed that I have parents who have these views.

However my DM as she's gotten older has begun to have more extreme views. She now follows a far right extreme political party (you probably can guess which one). She has begun watching so much stuff online and since all this unrest recently she's been further sucked into it all. She even told me that she was considering going to a protest in London. She's never said anything like this before.

I have a young DC and I am also worried about them being around my mum. I don't want her extreme views put onto them.

I love my DM because she's my mum but I don't like her as a person and what she believes in and stands for. I feel sad for me. I feel embarrassed and ashamed by her too.

Has anyone else got parents like this? If so what did you do?

I deplore ageist posts on here with references to old biddies, oldies, boomers etc. This isn't such a post IMO, it's about one particular person and one particular family situation.
It's about how you cope when someone you love because they are a close relative starts to express opinions that you strongly disagree with..
I don't think OP's children will be affected by exposure to this person because they will hear that their parents think she is completely wrong and find the opinions offensive. I would tell your mother that you don't agree with her and you would prefer her to keep off the topic.
Your children will grow up with their own opinions eventually, some of which may allign with yours and some of which might not.
There will be new things to disagree about.

Daily Mail and Murdoch radicalised their generation.

It's social media with the youngsters.

Just after I said no-one was being ageist!

Which time period was "great"?

At last, we have someone who has stated exactly what the problem is. Sensible people are concerned about the number of people being allowed into the country and the effect it is having . That is not racist or xenophobic.
I might add that the foreigners (and, yes they are foreigners) who have been here for a long time, are worried too, because they are affected by the influx of new-comers just as much as the native British.

Awkward when you love someone but don't much like them. She must have some boundaries though. Shouty angry politics are not for children. The Internet is getting scarey now. I have a family member who went off into his own little world during lockdown. Its the sheer rage that's inexplicable , the frustration that we don't share their views? Interspersed, in my case , with 'spiritual ' nuggets of shamanic wisdom. Or something.
But , if you will allow me to indulge in the same : even this shall pass away!

yup, my father is very much like this. I told him the other day he was basically Alf Garnett! (if anybody else can remember that far back!!LOL).
He seems to think that being nearly 80 is an excuse for being a dickhead. I dont let him get away with it though, I always tell him he's being a racist prick....then we talk about something else!!LOL
Im not going to change him but I dont have to accept it either.

My mother is a polite, fairly inoffensive, racist. They recently got new neighbours and she is always telling me 'its a young black couple....but they seem ever so nice!'. Bless her, I dont think she even knew what she was doing!

oh, and my older brother is a staunch Trump supporter....I have no clue what to do with that so I leave well enough alone!

Lockdown didn’t help. It was very difficult to work out truth as the government used loads of propaganda and it made people very cynical about what was real and what wasn’t. They spent more time online. And the country is poor now because of it, causing more resentment.

Yes, sadly my mum is like this. It's weird because we were new age travellers and very left wing growing up and she's never had a job yet is SO denigrating about anyone else who has no job?!

She's talking about her mother - I think you're replying to an argument in your own head.

You are doing the right thing to limit contact. Also, if she ever says things like this around your child make sure you verbally counteract it immediately so your child is clear her values are not yours.

Do your best to ensure your child has a diverse friendship group. Speak openly about how you dislike that your mother has offensive views.

I'm sorry for you, it is a shit situation.

If you are asked why they're not seeing much of your DD be absolutely honest - that you find her views abhorrent and you do not want your young daughter exposed to them.

Remind her that if she attends a "protest" in the current climate she runs a very high chance of arrest and imprisonment

Well there aren't many 20-something men on Mumsnet! The only sympathisers you're going to find on here are probably older women

Do people with rightful concerns usually address them and air them by setting fire to a building full of people?

Uhh, isn't it patently obvious that they don't?

If 52% voted Brexit in 2016 and a total of 38% voted Reform/Conservative in 2024, you might assume that a sizeable number of those people have 'rightful concerns'.

The vast, vast majority of us aren't thugs. But it seems like there's a desire to suggest that anyone with concerns is clearly a thug, and therefore needn't be listened to.

@Mumsie23 so when does a foreigner stop being a foreigner then?
How long must they be here? Does getting citizenship and a passport change that?

And what is the line between foreigner and ex pat? Do you consider pensioners on the Costa brava, the middle classes in the Dordogne or the living it large in Saudi crew who refuse to learn the local language and customs or integrate into the community, to be foreigners in those countries?

Nigel has his German passport. Tommy Robinson is Irish. By some reckoning they are foreigners too but are allowed to have a voice and be considered British. Funny that.

OPs mum is entitled to her opinion and has the right to express it even if you vehemently disagree. We don’t have the thought police just yet but are going down that road.

Neither has OP’s mum, or my elderly mum! Nor the 50% of the population that disagreed on Brett etc.

These issues are excuses for racist thugs, not racism themselves.

Already happening on here

I assume not, as they are a right wing populist party, they aren’t far right (though yes I’m sure some of their members are quite far to the right!)

Of course the brits living abroad are foreigners! I was foreign when I lived in Singapore, my mate with a house in France is a foreigner there. It’s the bloody definition. Nothing wrong with being a foreigner.

Foreigners probably shouldn’t spout off about running the country to suit them- whether it’s planning issues in France or religious issues somewhere else.

Definition of 'foreigner'.....someone from a country other than your own.

What a phenomenally pointless thing to post.

It's not your job to police her opinions. If you don't like it, take your kid to drag queen story time without her. I'm sure she won't mind 🤪

But what if they're citizens or have permanent leave to remain and pay tax?

They're not 'protests' though are they?

They're riots