To ask how you would react to this?

[itsoverisntit12]

Husband has barely spoken to me all weekend. It's a constant circle of me having to try and make conversation and get nothing back. I'm mad about it and I've told him so. So went I went to the shop he decided to drive off when I was inside and leave me.

It's only a 10 min walk from home. But I'm fuming. I don't know how to even react or what to say?

I’d go home, pack a few bags and leave with the kids OR I’d go home and pack him a bag and tell him to leave and not come back until he is prepared to stop the emotional abuse of silent treatment and ditching and so on.

Start planning to leave. Sell stuff discretely, think about increasing your hours, see if you can find out about accommodation. Even if basic (1/2 bed) better than this. If you really can’t speak to your parents think about confiding in a friend in real life. He’s a nasty bully and doesn’t like you.

In the meantime stop the wife work, he does his own washing, he tidies his own stuff, no packed lunches and no cooking for him (chuck any leftovers or label them something grim and freeze). If he shows you no respect then he doesn’t get useful things done for him. If he asks, tell him you texted him all about it and maybe the text didn’t get through for some reason. And no admin for him either. Don’t go anywhere with him and don’t initiate conversation. You can’t solve this by being nicer.

Sorry if I offended anyone with the "broken home" comment. It was badly worded, I meant physically separate parents. I'm just not thinking!

He told me last night he can't wait to be dead so everyone is better off but I know he's looking for a reaction and nothing else. I'm meeting some friends tomorrow and I might try to talk them about it all

Stop putting your feelings before your poor children's.

You are being utterly selfish, whilst pretending you dont want them to come from a "broken home".

Newsflash - IT IS ALREADY BROKEN.

But you are both dragging your children around in this shitshow of a "marriage".

Edit - if you think I am being harsh, count how many times you said "I" or referred to yourself in your post

Bloody well said!! 👏🏻

He told me last night he can't wait to be dead so everyone is better off

Yes classic attention seeking. I bet if you do manage to leave he’ll claim he’s suicidal. It’s bollocks.

I’d either ignore completely or just say something like “maybe that might be something to think about and make some changes whilst you are alive so you like yourself a bit more.”

I know what you mean when you say broken home, but come on. Your kids aren't stupid, they're already living in a broken home.

You think it's healthy or good for them to see your relationship play out like this? Would you be happy for one of your children to emulate you and your husband in years to come and be in a relationship like this?

I got rid of mine.

Typical abusive man using justifications and excuses to abuse.
Do you want to your kids growing up thinking this is normal?

He can't wait to be dead? Suddenly casting himself in the light of victim.

And you'd be the bad guy if he somehow ended up dead.

Do not get sucked into pandering to this.

It's such a classic abuser move. My ex did this. He abused me horribly. He was found out. And then pretended to take lots of pills and suddenly everyone rallied around him, pitying him. Wondering what an awful wife I must be to drive him to that.

Your h is awful. No wonder you hate him. Get rid of him.

I was about to say al this too @itsoverisntit12 @Gerwurtztraminer says it far better than I could.

Living without him will be easier than living like this

your children will bloom before your eyes once you’ve removed this toxic and negative energy from their home.

your username is bang on. You need to end this asap. Get your information and thoughts together and don’t stop or lose focus until you’re away from him.

Please read Why does he do that.

The kids already have a ‘broken’ home. This one is not good for them. Don’t use that as an excuse to stay. I’m divorced, my kids are fine, their dad has a much better relationship with them (and me to be fair!) now that he doesn’t live with us. Broken home is bullshit. Kids need a stable home with happy parents. Your kids have neither - where’s the stability in being in the car while your dad abandons your mum?

You could tell him that if he can't stand being in the same house as you he can leave. I said the same to my husband years age when he was being moody and ignoring me. Not surprisingly, he soon changed as he doesn't have anywhere else to go.
The children must have been upset and confused when he just drove off and left you.
Be assured that the constant arguing and tension in the house does affect them as my parents were the same. It affected me and my siblings. Both my parents were at fault though.

Also… if I were your mum @itsoverisntit12 too damned right I’d hit the fucking roof at how he’s treating you and my grand kids.

you’ve admitted this is wrong to yourself, brilliant start. You’ve written it down to us here and we’re showing you that you’re not the one in the wrong and you do deserve better. If your mum is half the woman you are, she’ll back you.

if not, if she’s like my mother/family, then you keep it to yourself and find friends and mumsnet to support you.

I wasn't offended, just trying to point out that it really isn't necessarily a bad thing for children to have their parents living separately... and when the parents' relationship is toxic, it is absolutely better for the children that they live apart.

I actually actively enjoyed having parents who lived separately. To me, there was literally no disadvantage. Going to stay at our dad's was like a little holiday, nice change of scenery, I never once wished my parents were together.

My Dad used to do and say stuff like this when he was in a sulk and home life was horrible as a result. Thankfully my parents eventually divorced and, although the divorce and everything around it was grim for a few years, they’ve both ended up much happier (and he grew up and stopped doing it). On the other hand, I am still feeling the after effects of it all nearly 40 years later. Please don’t put your kids through it, there’s support out there for both you and them that wasn’t around when I was a child.

I'd be taking the kids to a hotel or last minute Airbnb, wherever, let him know if he thinks you're not worthy of his company by driving off like that, he can do without it. Permanently.

I’m not offended either - just pointing out how inaccurate that trope is. Every single single mum I know is happier since divorce! Many of us have also had subsequent relationships, it’s not the end of your life when you leave your shitty husband, it’s a new start.

Very good.
I'm 45, married, no kids.
He would do this once.
What is the point of living like this, such attitude among spouses?
😡

Its literally already broken, they had to watch there dad leave there mum in the shop :S like what part of that isnt broken? at least if you were seperated they wouldn't have to see you both act normal when you arnt. Kids arnt stupid and i wish people would stop treating them like they are delicate stupid beings.

No, just a giant twat.

Abusive man, sorry. Go and spend his money, that’ll get his attention 😂

The silent treatments are there to make you beg for love and communication. It’s not an accident.

Leaving you stranded was to make it really hit home how little he cares. He hates himself so much he needs you to regulate his emotions for him, make him feel needed. Look up npd, bet you have been living this for a long time now.

Dump asap. It doesn’t get better. Truth is painful but don’t put up with people who play with your heart. Trash now.

Please listen to the sensible advice. He's abusive. Your dcs shouldn't witness this and neither should you. Tell everyone. Get support.