To wonder why more parents don't encourage daughters to freeze eggs?

[alesndra]

I know , I know - money! But there's so many more parents that help out their children by buying them housing or contributing large sums towards the wedding. Why isn't egg freezing a more common "gift"?

For example, I grew up quite comfortable and my parents wanted to help me build up a safety net. When I finished uni they bought me a flat in central London (for which I am immensely grateful) and paid a substantial amount towards my wedding (again, very very thankful for this). So they clearly have money and were willing to use it to help me out in life. Similarly now, I've mentioned we might do IVF and parents have said if they can help out financially they are very willing. So... why is it that so few girls are encouraged by their parents at age 18-25 to freeze eggs by their parents? Why, among all of my friends, even ones who went to private school and come from super rich backgrounds, have none of us been "gifted" an egg freezing round but many got flats etc? Not ungrateful but just wondering why culturally it's not as common when it could save so many tears, stress and even money down the line to be used on unsuccessful IVF rounds as egg quality declines?
I feel like this is 100% something I would "gift" my daughter, ahead of for example cars or flats. Or am I missing something?

Oh, blimey no! It sounds like some sort of breeding programme and I’m sure my daughter in the 18-25 category would be horrified…
We have however had conversations about how the younger they are when/if they have children the more her dad and I will (hopefully) be able to help. And that fertility declines the older you get, plus easier to get your figure back the younger you are! I think my generation were the last (45) to not think 25 was young to have a baby.
But ultimately its none of my business if or when she does decide to start a family.

@NewDogOwner the chances aren’t so low…12% with reference to what? It depends on how many eggs you freeze 🤷‍♀️

I was taught at uni by Gillian Lockwood who pioneered egg freezing (as opposed to embryo freezing), and having had fertility treatment myself this is absolutely something I would gift my daughter, but education, housing and private health insurance and things I'd prioritise first.

however the success rates aren't brilliant .

What on earth would the point of that be? To have babies in your 70s or later?

This is the weirdest post. Very few would need it, so it would be very wasteful. And it's an invasive, expensive operation (in UK) with poor success rates (when comparing egg vs embryo freezing). I've successfully done IVF, went abroad and it wasn't too expensive. Definitely one of those things you deal with if needed, rather than preparing to need it.

Speaking as someone in her seventies I can only say, "Perish the thought".

What a grotesque thing to suggest .a lot of the problem is a lot of people are leaving thinking about children until nature dictates you are getting a old for it .I mean your eggs get older it's harder to get pregnant after 30 /35 not impossible for some completely easy but come one there was a reason our grandmother's had lots of children they married and started babies early .. .if your parent's have money to help fine but suggesting you should try to by pass nature with egg retrieval there is something quite frankanstien about that honestly ..

Because nobody should go through unnecessary medical procedures. Help with housing…yep. Egg freezing - seriously such an odd thing to get involved in

You sound very jealous, don't let it get to you.

And, in fact, going through IVF I've felt more than ever how lucky I am for money not to be an object and how much money can actually buy...

It can’t always buy babies though…..

Everyone needs a roof over over their heads, from birth until death, and has done since humans have started building structures with roofs. Comparatively, a handuf of women, with the benefit of hindsight, have wanted their younger selves to have frozen some eggs, for about 5 minutes of human history. That's probably a big part of the reason - it's not a universal necessity.

That’s stooping op. Ignore.

TBH my DD would rather have a house than a child. Also, her reproductive choice is bugger all to do with me so I wouldn't have even tried to "encourage" her to do something on the off chance she may change her mind anyway.

I’d rather my daughters have financial security than have a child. Especially since it isn’t guaranteed and is a difficult process to go through.

It isn’t something I’d encourage at all.

They can also be donated. You have to renew your consent every 10 years, up to a maximum of 55 years. This is a recent change in law so no one will be at that stage yet.

Because my daughter may not want children in the future and I’ve no desire to make her feel like having children is the be all and end all. There have been no fertility issues within her family, it’s an incredibly invasive procedure and if there ever did become a need for her to freeze her eggs then it would be a discussion she’d have with her doctor. If she needed help financing it and I was in the position to do so I would, but I’d never encourage her to do it “because you’ll want to have kids at some point!”

Not trying to offend - but because its simply weird. The whole concept of freezing eggs is sick. Plus unnecessary procedure.

I agree with you that it would make a great and generous offer of a gift for those who can afford it. Likely parents don’t think of it if they had no major issues concerning or had children young.

Sadly, it remains a bit of a taboo topics and so I can’t see a parent or child readily raising it.

Having not been in a position to have children in my 20s (which is the reality for a lot of women nowadays) and needing treatment, it’s a fact that the younger the egg that higher the chances of success with IVF. Therefore whilst it’s an invasive procedure, should someone need treatment further down the line, it is one of the best things to do to boost chances. For something as precious as being able to have a child, I think it’s a great investment for “piece of mind” that they’ve maximised their chances for those who can afford it.

It’s quite an unpleasant procedure and success from frozen eggs which aren’t fertilised isn’t great. So in a way you’d be getting a false sense of security.

Why not?
Extremely low success rates creating a false sense of security?
No sense of whether it's something the daughter in question would actually want to do?

For all of those saying it’s incredibly invasive - it’s really not. And compared to childbirth, well….

its about ten days of injection, you get bloated, then you have light sedation for egg extraction. But there are indeed some risks with it which should not be downplayed.

And there are many well documented benefits to having children later in life - in particular greater emotional maturity and stability as well as finances 🤷‍♀️

so it’s not quite as outrageous as people are suggesting

@katepilar do you think it’s weird if someone does it because they are having cancer treatment for example?

@Twattergy success rates depend on how many eggs you freeze. If you freeze enough success rates are very good (but that of course comes with cost, small but not insignificant risks etc)

I would never encourage my DD to do it - she’s not some sort of breeding machine! I would however happily support her through it, both as a parent who has also been through the process and financially.

She’s 20 and thinks that it is something she will probably look into a few years down the line. She wants to live her life to the full in her 20s and isn’t planning on marriage or babies any time soon.

I was an older mother (late 30s) and have no regrets. It is a better time to have kids in my opinion with increased financial and mental stability.

No because my child is not a brood mare.