To wonder why more parents don't encourage daughters to freeze eggs?

[alesndra]

I know , I know - money! But there's so many more parents that help out their children by buying them housing or contributing large sums towards the wedding. Why isn't egg freezing a more common "gift"?

For example, I grew up quite comfortable and my parents wanted to help me build up a safety net. When I finished uni they bought me a flat in central London (for which I am immensely grateful) and paid a substantial amount towards my wedding (again, very very thankful for this). So they clearly have money and were willing to use it to help me out in life. Similarly now, I've mentioned we might do IVF and parents have said if they can help out financially they are very willing. So... why is it that so few girls are encouraged by their parents at age 18-25 to freeze eggs by their parents? Why, among all of my friends, even ones who went to private school and come from super rich backgrounds, have none of us been "gifted" an egg freezing round but many got flats etc? Not ungrateful but just wondering why culturally it's not as common when it could save so many tears, stress and even money down the line to be used on unsuccessful IVF rounds as egg quality declines?
I feel like this is 100% something I would "gift" my daughter, ahead of for example cars or flats. Or am I missing something?

that is one of these posts where you question the sanity or logic of people making the post

crazy, isnt it. The people who think themselves modern, civilised and advanced, to come up with totally utopian and dystopian nazi ideas

I don’t think people realise how common these sorts of issues are… And how many people are so desperate they would, and do, give up material possessions and get into debt to have a child. Far more debt than the egg freezing process costs

Who said anything about thirty years? If these babies could have been born earlier due to either economic or relationship reasons then they would have been. I imagine the ice comment will be hurtful for a lot of people

But how long will that take and how is it going to help women now

It would have been a massive waste of money for me. I got pregnant easily even at 39.

Have you thought about not taking money from your parents?

Look up the current statistics on live births and you’ll see you’re completely wrong. Although it’s a lot less likely if you freeze eggs after the age of 35 which is kind of the point. The cost of egg freezing is much, much less than a deposit for the average house. A lot of false, misleading information on this thread eg earlier on someone said eggs can only be frozen for 10 years which is completely out of date. Anyone freezing their eggs today will be able to keep them for as long as necessary

I don’t get your logic

True but not always possible unfortunately

Would any doctor even agree to carry out the procedure on a 19 year old?

I don’t think most people would think of this unless they’ve been through fertility treatment themselves. I think a better option would be a fertility check at 25 to see what’s what and make an informed decision from there. I also think that our parents generation had children younger during peak fertility & had less medical advances in terms of IVF so it just wouldn’t have been on their radar at all!

I agree @LaMadameCholet, it’s nothing to do with young adults’ parents. My DD is 20 and I wouldn’t think of getting involved in her fertility plans. It’s absolutely none of my business.

YABVU.

Egg retrieval is full of risks and the long term harms of egg retrieval on women’s bodies are under studied and largely unknown. To mature an artificially high number of eggs women have to be pumped full of hormones and given other drugs to mature the eggs, before they’re removed with a massive needle which perforates the ovary.

Young women - the group targeted for egg freezing and “donation” are at higher risk for complications including ovarian hyperstimulation syndrome, which can be fatal.

Overstimulation of the ovaries is an entirely unnatural procedure which was designed for older women in IVF to stimulate ovaries- not for young women who have lots.

I would never encourage my daughter to do this. Not only are there huge risks with egg retrieval, but egg freezing often fails and doesn’t work. It’s not a help to women - it’s a cash cow for fertility clinics who prey on women’s concerns about decline of fertility. Women are encouraged to give up half their eggs for “donation” in exchange for cheaper storage costs: it’s a con. The clinics sell on the eggs for profit. Most clinics now owned by private equity firms. Your daughter may find at 40 etc her eggs don’t become embryos, meanwhile someone else has been out there raising her genetic child for 15 years.

It’s a scandal Government allow this and that they’re not doing more to clamp down on this appallingly exploitative industry.

This makes a lot of sense. I would add considering freezing eggs from the age of 32 to 35 if financially possible if our daughters aren’t in a postiion to have a child at that time

That's a terrible mishmash of fearmongering and downright nonsense.

Because it would be a very odd gift.

It's up to my dc if they want to delay parenthood until later in life, or if they decide not to have kids. In the scheme of "things to help your kids with", I'd say education and housing are priorities.

It's lovely that you and your friends have been gifted flats etc, I guess that will free up money for you to pursue private fertility treatment if needed.

But if you had, say, a reasonable chance of being fit and healthy to well over 100 years of age, surely the grandparents would still be around, too?

It seems a bit of a strange "gift" for someone 18 - 25 if they have no health problems that would effect their fertility. Majority of people fall pregant naturally so what would happend to the eggs? A house deposit seems a much more useful.

I had 7 rounds of IVF before finally having my baby and there is no way I would have went through all if i didnt need to.

Well, if you had a baby at age 55, and your child did the same or had a baby even later……with eggs there is no upper age limit, women have had babies at 70+ with donor eggs.

I think the onus is on the daughter to ask for help towards it if that's what she wants.

It used to not be that successful as a treatment. It also costs around 10k to have 3 rounds which is what you need ideally to get enough eggs. Cheaper if you go abroad.

I hope I’m not being insensitive but if you had frozen your eggs you might not have had to go through ivf so many times?

One round is often sufficient for younger women. But not after the age of 35

Also, broodiness sometimes doesn’t kick in until women are older. I heard about someone who was adamant she didn’t want kids - she turned 40 and suddenly had an overwhelming yearning. I’ve also heard of older couples going through a lot of turmoil and huge expense trying to conceive, often without success

I wouldn’t recommend going abroad for any procedure particularly egg freezing. Also, if you go abroad wouldn’t your eggs be in a different jurisdiction?

I don't know about jurisdiction, do you know about it?

I looked into it when I was considering it. I found a UK couple who have an organisation that has a relationship with a bank overseas and oversee everything.

It wasn't dodgy or anything!