£10.5k spent since January on my credit card

[Heyheyheyyou]

I’ve spent £10.k on my credit card since January 2025 on food, clothes, petrol, eating out and other general stuff for me and the kids. This excludes bills & mortgage, which are paid from a separate account.

DH has become angry as he views this has excessive and points to things, such as take aways and coffee etc, which he considers a waste.
He’s basically made it clear, he wants to take over running the family finances or have completely separate bank accounts.

DH wants to save enough to help DC buy a house at some point in the future ladder. He was putting away £100 per month for a few years but has had to stop due to the cost of living.

Dors my spend seem excessive, I don’t think so. We have 2 primary school aged children.

I don't think you're massively excessive OP- don't hand over control to him. If you are covering the majority of the food etc it will be easier for him to save, so his behaviour to me seems controlling. We have a budget agreed and spend everything via credit card like you and pay the statement balance in full monthly. It costs nothing in interest, we get vouchers back for using our card and keeps our debit cards distanced from retailers which has to be more secure! Just a sensible way to do it in my opinion.

Op, no one here is going to be able to give you a definitive answer on this because we don't know what you're spending £1.5k a month on.

The best thing you can do is sit down and look at exactly where the money is going.

We did this recently, thinking our spending was excessive but realised that we just spend a lot on food and are happy to prioritise that.

If you really do spend only £120 a week on food for a family if 4 then you are more than capable of budgeting! You say you have a separate account for essential bills, well food, petrol, fees for kids clubs, kids clothes should be coming out of that. Sounds lije you DH is just clueless on how much things cost day to day. Just make a spreadsheet and itemise everything so you can go through it together and cut back if you need to. My DH sometimes has a moan about spending but I'm responsible for all general household spending really. He hasn't ever needed to go out and buy bathroom towels or bed linen or a new blazer for the kids. So when the moans come I have it all there to show him and he STFU.

I'll happily be mad if it gets me ££ of rewards a year that I can spend or save.

Yeah that is reasonable, but the OP said she did it because of the extra protections.

If you're living paycheck to paycheck and unable to save £100/mo when you could by doing some simple cutbacks then it is excessive. Your husbands suggesting isn't particularly good but his worry is valid. Have a sit down and do budget together. CC is irrelevant at this point.

That is an extortionate amount to spend without paying any bills and only a £120 food shop. Are you actually earning any of this money. So approximately £1500 a month spent. Do you pay your share of the mortgage and other bills? Say £500 for food and you have spent nearly £1000 a month on clothes, petrol and extras.

My Amex has a good rate of cashback on purchases so is well worth putting spend through that. My dB gets airmiles via his. If you can pay it back every month it does make sense

If you can pay it off each month it is not a major problem. If your DH is concerned I suggest you hand over the bulk of the shopping to him, get him to do the food shop, buy the DCs school and other clothes etc. He should come to realise that shopping is expensive, it's easy to be critical of others when you are not actually faced with the price of things yourself. Perhaps cut down on Takeaway coffees and get yourself a nice flask to use instead, and agree to limit Takeaways to weekly/occasional treat.

This is what l wondered. It’s all a bit vague. If OP is a SAHM how much is her budget for essentials, because spending on a credit card for things like household shopping and stuff for the kids suggests they haven’t budgeted enough from household income.

I get around £300 a year in cash back/ rewards from putting almost everything on credit cards.

i would say YANBU OP, but it’s all relative though. Maybe sit down with your DH and review the statement together and see where the cut backs could be.

There's no reason not to if you're paying it off in full every month though.

I spend £500-600 per month on, for me and 2 pre-schoolers:

Eating out
Coffee
Clothes/cosmetics when needed
Petrol
Kids (craft stuff/playgroups/activities/clothes)

If I added on our weekly shop (family of 4) which is around £100-120 then we get to a very similar amount.

It's not excessive, unless you can't afford it.

She says she pays the CC off in full every month.

If you pay it off, I can't see the problem, but obviously we'd get a clearer picture with a breakdown of the costs. For example, Takeaway once a month and coffees 1-2 times a week I'd see as fine - however maybe your DH doesn't agree? Or you can't afford it? It's unclear.

I used to spend quite a bit more than that on a credit card each month when dc lived at home so I don't think it extravagant if you pay it off each month. You need to cut down on the coffee/takeaways/eating out if you don't have savings though.

Depends if you’re paying it off or not. If you’re not then you’re living beyond your means and that’s 21K in debt by the end of the year.

Given you can’t save £100 a month I would assume it’s not paid off in full and therefore I can see why DH is mad.

If only there was some way to find out if she pays it off 🤔

God yeah. How would we EVER find out 😁

It's probably a lot more than 120 on food for a family of four especially if they eat out sometimes.

A lot of posters, seem to categorise everything that isn't food or commuting petrol into "frivolous shit/takeaway coffees"

I'm sure there is a fair amount of that in the OP's spending, which should be cut back on, but there will be (looking at my own credit card bill for example) new kettles to replace broken ones, bin bags, moisturiser, haircuts, birthday present for my father as well. Lots of stuff which falls into the grey area between "100% essential" and "frivolous shit"

It depends on your income and whether you can afford this.

I buy everything for our family on credit card and pay it off every month (originally this was because I accrued air miles with credit card spend). Easily between £1.5-2k a month as it includes all food, petrol, any essentials for the kids or house, plus days out, weekends away etc. I then work out what I’ve spent on joint household expenses and take it out of our joint account. I don’t think you’re being unreasonable.

Surely something like bins bags or moisturiser would come under the weekly food shop as an essential spend?