£10.5k spent since January on my credit card

[Heyheyheyyou]

I’ve spent £10.k on my credit card since January 2025 on food, clothes, petrol, eating out and other general stuff for me and the kids. This excludes bills & mortgage, which are paid from a separate account.

DH has become angry as he views this has excessive and points to things, such as take aways and coffee etc, which he considers a waste.
He’s basically made it clear, he wants to take over running the family finances or have completely separate bank accounts.

DH wants to save enough to help DC buy a house at some point in the future ladder. He was putting away £100 per month for a few years but has had to stop due to the cost of living.

Dors my spend seem excessive, I don’t think so. We have 2 primary school aged children.

Where did you get that from? The post you quoted literally says they pay it back in full each month.

She doesn’t. She pays it off monthly.

The £10.5k is just the total spend since January.

Given your last paragraph, I can completely see why DH wants to have more control over the finances. If you can’t explain where the money goes and you aren’t setting a budget then this is a huge red flag and you need to either take drastic action to rein in immediately (agreeing a budget with your DH and making sure you strictly stick to it) or accept that he should be in control of the finances to not risk your family’s future ability to save:

But are you saving @HappyApper

It's not equitable though.
Op spends, her DH is given zero choice
Personally I would go back to Dcard and divide extras equally
Food and petrol into bills account -eg £500 food , £200 petrol
Leaves £800
£200 adults personal spends ×2
£100 DC -clothes, treats

= £300
£200 savings
£100 DC savings

Op hasn't said how much they have in savings but I wouldn't be happy with £800 treats etc and no savings

We pay for everything possible on our cc and clear the balance in full every month, we’ve probably spent 25k this year so far, but that includes a tank of heating oil, 3 residential trips, and two holidays.

The only things that don’t go on the cc are bills that you’re not allowed to pay by cc.

Do you work, OP, or are you a SAHM with your husband being the sole breadwinner?

If you're a SAHM then I can understand both how you might spend a lot on just "stuff" because you have all those days with the kids to fill, and also how your DH might feel stressed about the fact that he's the one bringing all the money in and you're spending it without sticking to a budget.

That said, £10,000 since the start of the year isn't an insane amount of money if you're including things like family food shops and petrol in that.

I think you and your DH should go through the credit card statements and try to work out exactly how much you're spending on food, petrol and so on, and how much of it is discretionary spending. Then try to identify where you might be able to cut back on some of it so you can save some money each month.

Separate bank accounts isn't the answer if a lot of this spending is actually for the whole family or for the children. Agreeing a realistic joint budget and sticking to it is.

Op doesn't seem to know where the money is coming from. Never mind where it goes.

I have no idea of your combined income but if money has become an issue in the past two years, charging everything to a CC if you don't clear it every month, means you'll be paying high fees on interest - a BAD financial movement.

You need to balance your income with your expenditure. A CC will give you credit but if your income was higher a few years ago, you need to adjust how much money you are expending now.

This is home economics 101.

Answering your question as to whether you spend is excessive depends very much on your incomings vs your outgoings. It sounds very much like you need to keep a spending diary for a little while to work out where your money is going.

£1400 a month (average) on "food, clothes, petrol, eating out and other general stuff" does seem excessive to me, but then my income is very low. If possible go through your credit card statement and separate spends into categories so you know what you are spending and where. You will probably surprise yourself.

You need to get rid of that card. It’s like having a high interest loan in your back pocket.
Its too easy.

There are a few people who can manage a credit card, you are not one of them. ( Neither am I btw!)

99% of things bought on credit cards are unnecessary so you should get rid of it

Also, it’s not that it’s excessive it’s that you are not in control of it.

It's surprising how many posters assume using a credit card = being in debt.

I use credit cards for everything because I get rewards/ cash back and I prefer to expose those accounts to potential fraud over my current account.

Both cards build my credit rating (988 out of 1000), and rewards cover a good bit of my Christmas spending.

Sensible and controlled use of credit is excellent financial management.

That’s not excessive at all! If you double it to 20k that’s not a bad amount to spend on food and general living over the course of a year for a family’

Of course it needs to be proportionate to what you both bring in?

How much is the household income

I don’t think your spending is excessive as you are spending within your income but if you agree you want to save you have to cut back somewhere. £100 pm savings should be achievable without cutting back much

You're frittering, you can check your credit card daily to see a running total. Suggest you start budgeting and aim to save.

And replacing things like kettles would be a rare occurrence!

I don’t think it sounds that excessive if the weekly food shop is within that money and also petrol (no idea how much petrol you use; £50 a month or £250 a month?). It’s £1,500 a month that you’re spending on average. Deduct £500 for food shop. Then say £150 petrol, that leaves £850 on other stuff which can easily add up with clothes for the family, eating out and other bits that crop up. Even eating out just once per week could be easily £200 a month. You could definitely make savings though and cut back. You’d be better off not putting things on a credit card I think and spending from a card that you allocate “spending money” for so you can keep track more easily.

The odd takeaway, not a regular takeaway, so one or two a month? Can you not look at your statement and categorise it?

^ This is the post to focus on, OP.

Sit down with DH and the past year of bank statements and account for all your spending, weekly, monthly, annual. Categorise it.

Now work out with DH what your immediate priorities and long-term financial goals are.

Then jointly agree with DH a budget based on allocating your incomes so it covers your spending and your pension, saving, investment goals.

If the numbers don't work you need to either cut back on spending, increase your incomes, or downgrade your long-term goals.

Personally, if you have no other way to pay for it then putting essential food, petrol and clothing on a credit card would be a yes. I'd very much be cutting back on coffees and takeaways though.

We have a household income of over £10k per month after tax but I'd consider £1.5k frivolous on coffees and takeaways.
You might be able to afford it but given your husband is saying you need to save for kids more, I'd be inclined to curb or limit your frivolities and do more long term saving.

You need a proper budget OP. Go through your statements for the last few months and find out where the money is being spent. It should be clear which areas could be cut down. Then going forwards you can use a spreadsheet or app to keep track of your spending and monitor actual against budget.

No it’s not - OP has already said they clear the credit card every month so it’s not like a high interest loan at all. Lots of people use credit cards for every day spending then pay off at the end of the month. I used to do this but I hated the big bill at the end of the month so I reverted back to using my debit card. Having a credit card is not a bad thing if used properly.

I use my CC for everything but I have a direct payment every month to my account. Credit cards are great as long as you used them wisely for your benefit and not the bank's.

CC is a mayor issue of personal debt because people keep charging what they can't pay in full every month.