To think you're not really that adventurous if you have your husband with you

[GigglingSid]

I'm part of a group for families who enjoy travel, nature, camping, outdoor pursuits, both in the UK and abroad. It's not a very single parent friendly group, some of the advice given, particularly around my budget for certain holidays has been very rude. There's been a lot of women commenting 'well my husband will always drive/ put up the tent/ plan routes/ bugger off cycling all day and leave me with the kids.
I've been away this week and have been chatting to various people on the group about hiking routes, camping spots etc. It suddenly struck me that many of these families have credit cards with limitless amounts on them, expensive cars, tents and camping equipment worth thousands and they are also nearly all heteronormative couples. What a different experience trekking though the Sahara as or with a large white man with you compared to my experience as a short, mid thirties woman?
I feel like I've been conned a little bit into thinking I wasn't able to be part of this elite club as I wasn't savvy enough at reading a OS map or that great at kayaking.
But maybe actually being a woman on her own, with two kids, £200 and an Aldi tent makes me the most adventurous of them all?

Is there something wrong with having a detached house?

I have a single female friend who won’t walk her dog in local woods for fear of being attacked. We are in a very rural area 15 miles from the nearest small town, no major roads - many people wouldn’t dream of camping alone, or just with kids.

This. So tired of all these het cis labels. I think you would be happier in a different group.

I’m not trusting of pop up tents being any good in bad weather. Two lads got soaked in pop up tent when I was on one trip and mine stayed dry - so it’s put me off getting a pop up tent for that reason.

thiugh camping for one has got expensive, they seem to charge for pitch and 2-4 people, so at times was finding it €10 more expensive to use booking dot com and did a few times when bad weather was due 😊

It’s unadventurous.

That was, frankly, embarrassing to read. You’re not better than them and it’s not a competition!

Why are all these people with endless pots of money as you say, going camping?

Camping is hard work, not a holiday for me.

Oh dear

Obviously not

What I'm saying is that having a secure foundation behind you gives you a sense of security and reassurance.

So if you're off camping and you have a brand new reliable 4x4 car, plenty of money and a big strapping husband, you deep down have a much stronger sense that everything will be ok.

Likewise if you head off travelling as a youngster knowing you have two caring, affluent parents back in the UK, that gives you a bit of a buffer than if you're parents are abusive or don't have access to much money. You are taking a bigger risk

it is possible to competently read an OS map as a woman.

Agree you dont need to diminish tohers to feel good about ypur own achievements

You also sound like you dont like any of them.

Maybe start a meetup group for SINGLE MUMS! WHO CAMP! BUT ON A BUDGET!
and get some camping mates exactly the same as you.

😂

😀So paint it bright pink or something.

Of course you're right about the gap year experience.

Personally I find going remote (and I mean quite remote) isn't any safer with my DH. In fact, sometimes quite the opposite!

are you saying men can't be adventurous?

Why does it matter how adventurous or non adventurous others perceive you to be?

I don't know about having another adult with you, what makes a camping trip more adventurous is not having a car, I think. Do you have a car OP? I've camped alone with children in remote areas without a car, but saying "alone with children" is obviously a contradiction. Children can help from about the age of 4, so you are not alone. And of course, the older they get, the more they help, so by about 13, it is actually the same as having another adult. So maybe camping alone as a back packer is more adventurous than camping with children?

or in actual fact, it is irrelevant. Some trips are more adventurous than others. It is n't really who you are with. It is the location, the weather, the activities, etc.

Do you have a car OP? That is the biggest factor in how "adventurous" you are being

But maybe actually being a woman on her own, with two kids, £200 and an Aldi tent makes me the most adventurous of them all?
It just makes you the less well off of the campers. If you think driving an inexpensive car to the campsite makes you adventurous, well that's great for you. But it doesn't invalidate the experience for others. What a strange to way glean more enjoyment from something that you enjoy anyway.

I’m not adventurous at all. It isn’t a holiday for me if I’m hauling tents around etc, so I don’t do it. All my holidays are safely spent in self catering villas/cottages or hotels. I am also cishet. That doesn’t make you a better person than me, OP.

One of the most adventurous people I know is a man. In fact, I think he's a bit 😯sometimes with what he does. But that's up to him and it clearly works for him.

Why does it need to be a competition?

As long as everyone is having a good time,I can't see it matters as to the adventure scale 🤷🏻‍♀️

What is adventurous for one person is mundane for another. Do I want to cycle the Tour de France route? Do I bugger.

I’m not sure that somebody with more barriers to adventure travel is specifically more adventurous, it’s that they have to traverse more barriers to access the same experience. Yes, that should be identified and celebrated but it doesn’t mean that a single parent’s Primrose Hill is a white married wealthy couple’s Everest.

And no, women holidaying with their male partners are not less adventurous because of their partnership. More supported (hopefully, though let’s be honest, the women may well be doing the same domestic crap as at home while Daddy goes off on his cycling adventures) but not less adventurous.

I might have got my analogy about Everest the wrong way round but I don’t know and I need a coffee.

Lovingsummers

Enjoy!!! Know the feeling of rushing it all down- that’s my draft 1- next drafts I add the details- sometimes you want to bang your head off a wall with it all alright😅 Enjoy the indoors- on our way out for a hike, possibly in the rain! Kids thrilled😅

Agree op, definitely not as easy for you as it is for them and they probably don’t realise how privileged they are. Big up ya self. YANBU

But hasn't named one thing these people have done to 'make her feel less than'.

Apart from being heteronormative (which I think Op is using incorrectly), having some financial security and being married.

If other people just existing makes someone feel less than, then that's something that's not them doing anything. That's a problem the person needs to look internally to resolve. And trying to find ways to out others down and elevate yourself isn't the way to do it.

I would say that like all tents you get what you pay for when it comes to weather proofing as the cheap population tent my ds uses in the garden is absolutely crap however my expensive 1 has never leaked and folds up to half the size of the cheap 1.
I hadn't realised that camping sites had started using the single person penalty as I only wild camp (legally in Scotland) and just carry out everything including rubbish, it makes camping most weekends affordable 😀