To give 18 year old a curfew?

[Lilysienna1]

Help me out please, wise mumsnetters that have crossed the line into parenting ‘adult’ children… 😀

DD1 very recently turned 18…. and last night she went out to a few bars with friends and when I said to be home at midnight, she looked like I had uttered the worst and most ridiculous words she’s ever heard in her life.

and she came rolling in at 3am.

Just a week ago, she had rules and curfews. I can’t quite get my head round the huge jump from that to apparently being expected to let her do whatever she wants, whenever she wants now that she’s a week older.

I know she’s now classed as an adult… but she’s still a teenager living at home. Help me get to grips with this please, how do I let her go. The world is a scary place and I’m not ready. 😭

AI really BU to give her a curfew??

Of course you can give her a curfew! If she doesn't like it she can move out. Your house, your rules.

Why did she have curfews at 17 and 3/4??

The hell??? You really should have loosened the apron strings a while ago. What made you think it was normal to give a 17 year old a curfew of 11pm?

I do feel you my son has just turned 18 .There are no local nightclubs where I live so he is travelling 20miles to the City.I can't sleep until he is in😬4am due to taxis et I'm a zombie where he is still in bed til the afternoon.

I used to go out til 3am at 18 but I was local so we would walk as a group. I haven't imposed a curfew but wish I could I'm aging in dog years🤪

My mum used to say I could stay out as long as I liked but over 18 I had household rules, and she rightly pointed out she followed them too:

1. I let her know if i would be home for or would like dinner left for me. She didnt want to waste food and wasnt offering a chef service

1. If I was working I paid board, not becuase she wanted a profit from me but because she said she had two jobs, give me security and teach me independence and independent people contribute

1. No ONS in her home. If he hadn't sat at her table he wasnt sleeping under her roof

1. If I want to go out, fine. But I tell her when Im going to be home by and stick to it, because if Im late she will worry. She wouldn't go away and not tell me

1. Help out round the house, were all in it together

She said as adults we have a responsibility to each other, to make sure we help and communicate with eachother. And if I dont like her rules and want to be inconsiderate or resent chores or board I was old enough to move out if I thought id get a better deal anywhere else. I stayed til I was 25. And I never missed a self imposed home time without ringing her/texting her about any delays. I plan to try and do the same. I think im pretty responsible and it was that balance of trust and accountability she held us both too.

It sounds like you've done a good job, let her prove it

I had no rules for my adult DC. As long as they weren’t disrupting the house or expecting me to collect them. Whether you like it or not, they are legally an adult and time to let go. I mean I didn’t impose a curfew at 17 either.