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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think she's gearing up to cancel?

508 replies

SunflowerMabel · 03/08/2024 08:02

Last year the mum of my DC's friend kindly offered for her to join them on a mini break they had planned this year. I paid for her share of the accommodation and food (around £300)

Getting together has been a bit more tricky since they started (different) schools but we generally met up once a month or so.

So, they are due to go on on this mini break on Monday and I haven't heard back from mum. I text last weekend suggesting we meet up for lunch/an activity and asked for confirmation RE what time they'd be leaving to get to the destination etc and I haven't heard anything back at all.

She has been active on social media. I don't want to pester her but I'm getting a bit concerned that there's a cancellation coming. Surely there would be some contact by now if it was going ahead?

AIBU/WWYD?

OP posts:
sunsetsandboardwalks · 04/08/2024 11:58

I find this extraordinary and really depressing. What is it about phonecalls and a certain generation?

What generation would that be then? Because practically everyone I know would rather send a text or WhatsApp, from my 14yo niece to my 80yo FIL.

headpillowhit · 04/08/2024 12:00

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines. Previously banned poster.

ZoeLoey · 04/08/2024 18:06

Jeez 5 years old and going away with a family you don't even speak on the phone with. Very reckless of you. Protect your child better please. There's many around who are bad people.

Runnerinthenight · 04/08/2024 18:14

ZoeLoey · 04/08/2024 18:06

Jeez 5 years old and going away with a family you don't even speak on the phone with. Very reckless of you. Protect your child better please. There's many around who are bad people.

Did you actually bother to read the thread?

Foxlovesfruit · 04/08/2024 18:17

Why is thread still active? I thought the OP had made a decision?!? Yet she's still getting battered with judgemental comments, either because of her parenting choses or because of her choice of communication.

sunshinemode · 04/08/2024 18:58

I’m glad it has all worked out. I don’t really understand the reaction to your DD having a break with her friend and family. Posh people send their kids off to boarding school at 6 and no one bats an eye. Please don’t worry I’m sure she will have a great time. When my son (only child) was the same age as your DD we took a friend with us and it made the holiday for the kids.

MeAgainAndAgain · 04/08/2024 19:03

Foxlovesfruit · 04/08/2024 18:17

Why is thread still active? I thought the OP had made a decision?!? Yet she's still getting battered with judgemental comments, either because of her parenting choses or because of her choice of communication.

Because as far as OP is concerned it’s about her daughter going on a trip.

As far as some Mumsnetters are concerned it’s just the same as lots of threads on Mumsnet and Reddit - an opportunity to be ANGRY and SHOUTY and OPINIONATED and to say things like ‘grow up’ and to follow people round, saying ‘well I found a comment made in 1963 and you said blah blah….’

I swing between being mildly enraged by the deviations or thoroughly entertained depending on my mood.

Foxlovesfruit · 04/08/2024 19:26

MeAgainAndAgain · 04/08/2024 19:03

Because as far as OP is concerned it’s about her daughter going on a trip.

As far as some Mumsnetters are concerned it’s just the same as lots of threads on Mumsnet and Reddit - an opportunity to be ANGRY and SHOUTY and OPINIONATED and to say things like ‘grow up’ and to follow people round, saying ‘well I found a comment made in 1963 and you said blah blah….’

I swing between being mildly enraged by the deviations or thoroughly entertained depending on my mood.

Show quote history

I think that just about sums it up, yes!

Lollipop81 · 04/08/2024 19:27

Some of the responses on this thread, my god. I’m glad you’ve sorted it now. I hate speaking to people on the phone too, definitely refer texting. Not sure why I never used to be like that 😂😂

Kjpt140v · 04/08/2024 19:32

I would never allow my child go at such a young age. I've read your excuses, that's what they are, and they don't wash with me. This is a safeguarding issue, you admit you don't know the woman, for goodness sake. You should be phoning her and telling her you've decided not to allow your child to go. Give your head a wobble.

Kjpt140v · 04/08/2024 19:39

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Runnerinthenight · 04/08/2024 19:49

Kjpt140v · 04/08/2024 19:32

I would never allow my child go at such a young age. I've read your excuses, that's what they are, and they don't wash with me. This is a safeguarding issue, you admit you don't know the woman, for goodness sake. You should be phoning her and telling her you've decided not to allow your child to go. Give your head a wobble.

She does no such thing!! Give your own head a wobble!!

The woman actually works in safeguarding ffs!

Frenchsplit · 04/08/2024 19:49

Kjpt140v · 04/08/2024 19:32

I would never allow my child go at such a young age. I've read your excuses, that's what they are, and they don't wash with me. This is a safeguarding issue, you admit you don't know the woman, for goodness sake. You should be phoning her and telling her you've decided not to allow your child to go. Give your head a wobble.

Ridiculous

BowlOfNoodles · 04/08/2024 19:51

Kjpt140v · 04/08/2024 19:32

I would never allow my child go at such a young age. I've read your excuses, that's what they are, and they don't wash with me. This is a safeguarding issue, you admit you don't know the woman, for goodness sake. You should be phoning her and telling her you've decided not to allow your child to go. Give your head a wobble.

Sorry but why on earth wouid she care about what was washes with you? Who are you to her? 😂😂😂😂 that was hilarious

moose62 · 04/08/2024 20:07

I took a friends 4 year old child for a weeks holiday abroad. She had a major emergency and I had a holiday booked in France so took her child with mine. She had a great time.

AngelinaFibres · 04/08/2024 20:19

ShillyShallySherbet · 03/08/2024 08:18

Wow that’s very young to be going away with another family! I wouldn’t be sending my 5 year old away with someone who I wasn’t really, really close to and definitely not someone who doesn’t reply to my messages. I’d be glad if it’s cancelled to be honest, hope you get your money back.

This.

WWHRD · 04/08/2024 20:59

@Omlettes

It's not just generational. Many people find phonecalls very difficult, particularly those who are neurodivergent, like the OP. Isn't it great that the world has become so much more accessible with a whole choice of options depending on personal preference?

Vergeofbreakdown23 · 04/08/2024 21:49

SunflowerMabel · 03/08/2024 20:14

Well aren't you an absolute delight, I bet you're popular.

As you asked.. no, I've never spoken to her in the flesh. When we meet up we communicate via text, or gesticulating if I'm in a good mood.

Show quote history

😂😂😂😂
@SunflowerMabel I'm glad you've had a reply and all is good to go. I'm sure the girls will have a fab time.
I was going to post saying you're probably over thinking it a bit as you've not heard from her - I do this and end up with all the worst case scenarios in my head!
Glad you're sorted ❤️

Josette77 · 04/08/2024 22:13

Kjpt140v · 04/08/2024 19:32

I would never allow my child go at such a young age. I've read your excuses, that's what they are, and they don't wash with me. This is a safeguarding issue, you admit you don't know the woman, for goodness sake. You should be phoning her and telling her you've decided not to allow your child to go. Give your head a wobble.

Op quite clearly states she knows the woman quite well, and she works in safe guarding.

What exactly is the issue?

Bellsandthistle · 04/08/2024 22:15

She’ll have a great time. Some posters on here keep their children in a bubble and wrapped in cotton wool at all times and judge others for not doing so.

3luckystars · 04/08/2024 22:40

If you take one thing from this thread, will you please start listening to your instincts.

Your ‘reservations’ and ‘second thoughts’ and ‘feeling unsure’ are your instincts and you should listen to them.

Not anyone else. YOURSELF.
please!!

And don’t feel embarrassed about changing your mind and getting your child out of any situation. No need to explain why you feel, you just do and always act on these instincts.

Original poster
SunflowerMabel · 04/08/2024 22:43

Kjpt140v · 04/08/2024 19:32

I would never allow my child go at such a young age. I've read your excuses, that's what they are, and they don't wash with me. This is a safeguarding issue, you admit you don't know the woman, for goodness sake. You should be phoning her and telling her you've decided not to allow your child to go. Give your head a wobble.

Oh bugger off you weirdo I've said nothing of the sort 🤣

OP posts:
garderose · 04/08/2024 23:03

Motherland2624 · 03/08/2024 12:50

This is crazy people should take a test before having or being responsible for children

Nasty and unnecessary

garderose · 04/08/2024 23:05

Apolloneuro · 03/08/2024 13:35

Well I think people should have to take a niceness test before being allowed to post on mumsnet.

Some proper nasty people on the threads today, enjoying being bitchy to people posting for advice.

Agrée

Marseillaise · 04/08/2024 23:37

3luckystars · 04/08/2024 22:40

If you take one thing from this thread, will you please start listening to your instincts.

Your ‘reservations’ and ‘second thoughts’ and ‘feeling unsure’ are your instincts and you should listen to them.

Not anyone else. YOURSELF.
please!!

And don’t feel embarrassed about changing your mind and getting your child out of any situation. No need to explain why you feel, you just do and always act on these instincts.

People are constantly trotting this one out, and it's nonsense. There's nothing infallible about instinct, rather the reverse. If I'd listened to my instincts the other day when I visited somewhere unfamiliar, I'd still be wandering around trying to find my way now. Instead I got the map out. Only the other day on here, countless posters were telling someone to listen to her instincts when she thought her grandmother had died - Granny is alive and well.