To think she's gearing up to cancel?

[SunflowerMabel]

Last year the mum of my DC's friend kindly offered for her to join them on a mini break they had planned this year. I paid for her share of the accommodation and food (around £300)

Getting together has been a bit more tricky since they started (different) schools but we generally met up once a month or so.

So, they are due to go on on this mini break on Monday and I haven't heard back from mum. I text last weekend suggesting we meet up for lunch/an activity and asked for confirmation RE what time they'd be leaving to get to the destination etc and I haven't heard anything back at all.

She has been active on social media. I don't want to pester her but I'm getting a bit concerned that there's a cancellation coming. Surely there would be some contact by now if it was going ahead?

AIBU/WWYD?

Thats made my day 😂

Maybe that some people round here make ludicrous claims about not trusting others to look after their children. Unless there is some specific history relating to @Jazzjazzyjulez' mother, why would anyone not trust their children to the person who managed to keep them alive to adulthood?

I have more faith in ds being well taken care of by friends than by grandparents.

I hope DD has a fabulous time!

These responses are so bizarre to me...

People seem extremely paranoid. OP is an hour away. Her DD can come home if needed.

Nothing about this sounds irresponsible or extreme.

And as for sn's parents, that's a huge range. I'm one myself. That means I have experience with my ds. People chiming in about their own experiences is not beneficial to OP. We don't know her experience.

I've met parents who have it much harder than me, and parents that have it much easier.

OP letting her daughter have a nice time doing something they can't do as a family is awesome.

It really doesn't have red flags all over it. Someone whose job is literally safeguarding children, who has looked after OP's child overnight a number of times, is taking her to a child-friendly resort with her own child of the same age. Nothing is totally risk-free, but you have to have a VERY large magnifying glass to find the red flags around that.

Happy to oblige!! 😂

Yep.
I wonder who was mean to you today @brightyellowflower?
Happy people don't talk to strangers like you have to OP on this thread. You haven't got a clue who you're talking to.

"But we know some people shouldn't have children."
Bleurgh...how determinedly nasty. I won't forget your username.

Hope she has a great time OP. xx

My nephew has stayed for up to 6 weeks at a time away from his Mum every year (he lives abroad, we don't see him between). He's staying 40 days and asked if he can stay 80 days next time. He's 7...

Kids are different. The mum is dbs checkedand works for police, long-ish term friend and dd is happy to go. I think it's fab. Enjoy! (P.s. I'm much more concerned about beavers camps honestly as you gave no idea who the helper parents are).

This. Some of the responses on here are a bit much. Good luck OP I hope you get a response back. It sounds a bit anxious wondering what's going on x

Ahhh am glad it’s worked out ok and am sure your DD will have an amazing time. I understand completely you wanting to grab a chance for her to have lovely time as I also have a SEN child whose needs restrict what our other child can access quite often. My DD went on Rainbow sleepovers at that age no problem. I imagine your DD and her friend are going to make great memories!

So glad for you OP, it sounds like a great friendship for your DD.
5 y.o d sounds young for a trip with friends but in reality it entirely depends on parents. Often we can’t send our children with someone because nice people whom you can trust are very rare.

I find this extraordinary and really depressing. What is it about phonecalls and a certain generation?
Have you never spoke to her in the flesh? How many stress hormones worrying when it would all be sorted in 2 minutes, and ironically roping in strangers on mumsnet over such a trivial issue and then calling it social anxiety 😂

So ironic that all this social media was supposed to make communication easier Ha bloody ha! British women still tying themselves in knots about straightforward communication no matter the tech.
Yes, do give your head a wobble.

Well aren't you an absolute delight, I bet you're popular.

As you asked.. no, I've never spoken to her in the flesh. When we meet up we communicate via text, or gesticulating if I'm in a good mood.

This made me chortle so darned hard. Best rejoinder ever.

I’m glad this got sorted - I went away at 5 for week’s with friends’ families - heck, I flew to Australia by myself when I was 8 to stay with my aunt for two months! It’s no biggie and will help her to understand that she can be safe and have fun without you being there too. She’s only an hour away so you can nip over and get her, like you say.

Dying to know which Butlins though (obvs not for you to answer as that’s outing @SunflowerMabel!) but only because we’re taking the niece and nephews there this week! She’s going to have an absolute ball. If she takes after you in the ADHD stakes, it’s going to be CRAZY. I’m 40 and I still get super-hyped by the sheer overwhelming stimulation - big dark spaces, bright flashing lights, giant Teletubbies and Transformers randomly around, loud arcade noises, stage shows, trampolines, carnival games…make sure you give her her body weight in 2p’s for the machines 😆. It’s cray-cray.

Deffo give the other mum money to get them both Billy or Bonnie Butlins bears at the store…Our niece and nephews get one every year and they LOVE them.

Oh and a BIG bottle of wine. Your friend is definitely taking on a lot, taking them there. We need to sleep for a week afterwards! I once sloped off for a smoke in one of the smoking shelters on our first year there and a woman stumbled in looking dazed, fumbling her cigarettes, saying, “Oh god, what have I done? I’ve just left my four year old with a complete stranger but I just need 90 seconds of quiet. Just 90 seconds. WHAT HAVE I DONE?!” 🤣

Glad you weren’t being ghosted, OP.

Just to provide some contrast to the many posters saying “Surely it’s not a good idea to let a 5yr old go away with someone else.”: I went for a long weekend with a friend from school, when I was 5, to her grandma’s place somewhere in the countryside. I don’t know if I was homesick or not, my mom never mentioned it. But I have very fond memories of the trip. Some of my strongest memories from that age, it was a magical trip for me. Hope your DD has a similar experience.

Just came to say that the abuse OP got on this thread is unreal.

I hope you're okay OP. Probably best to shut Mumsnet off for tonight, go and have a cup of tea and try to relax.

Your DD will likely have a great time and if she doesn’t like you said you can go and pick her up. She’s been for days out with the friend and sleepovers so it’s not like she is a stranger. Your DD is excited so it would be unfair not to let her go and it is a good opportunity for her. Just make sure she knows she can come home if she wants.

Just to say, after that deluge of commentary, that I hope your wee one has a lovely time!

@LaughingCat

oooh I wasn't pushing Mum's budget that much - but what a lovely idea ! I bet they are over priced tho ?

Oh dear, some of the posts on this thread...

OP, you know your daughter best and fwiw I would be happy to let mine go in the circumstances you described. Took my 5yo DS to Butlins recently which he loved but would have been better for all if he'd had a friend with him

She will have a great time!

What 'generation' might you be referring to then? Because I'm early 60s and I mostly communicate via text!!! As do my 20 something kids.

Give your own head a wobble.

I think your little one will have a lovely time! She's used to being out and about with them without you and you've also observed how your friend is with her, she's got a DBS. You know she sends regular updates and you know if it all goes wrong you can go pick her up easily!

It's very brave of you to go for this opportunity and I think in the circumstances the right thing to do!

I hope she has a great time x

Aw glad everything worked out. Hope your little girl has a fab time.

What is it about phonecalls and a certain generation?

Phone calls are so 1990s. I WhatsApp with all my friends. Then we can all respond when we have time and actually talk when we meet up.
My teens snap for the same reason, and send video messages if they want to say more. Man you should hear the chatter when they meet up.

Phone calls are not the only means of communicating, and they're frankly not the most practical often.