To think she's gearing up to cancel?

[SunflowerMabel]

Last year the mum of my DC's friend kindly offered for her to join them on a mini break they had planned this year. I paid for her share of the accommodation and food (around £300)

Getting together has been a bit more tricky since they started (different) schools but we generally met up once a month or so.

So, they are due to go on on this mini break on Monday and I haven't heard back from mum. I text last weekend suggesting we meet up for lunch/an activity and asked for confirmation RE what time they'd be leaving to get to the destination etc and I haven't heard anything back at all.

She has been active on social media. I don't want to pester her but I'm getting a bit concerned that there's a cancellation coming. Surely there would be some contact by now if it was going ahead?

AIBU/WWYD?

OP are you genuinely comfortable with her going away for a week at such a young age?

I hope you hear back soon OP, her silence is telling you all you need to know but hold firm and make her cancel so you can try and get your money back.

Totally get why you accepted this holiday offer from a good friend who is also a good parent, these things can feel ok when they are a way away.

Can you see if she has read your message ?

I've never been 100% at ease with it no, but I did come around to the idea on the basis we know she'd be well looked after and we agreed it would be beneficial for her.

I'm reading some of the replies open mouthed, especially the one suggesting I should've needed to take a test before becoming a parent.

That's a whole load of people who'll need testing if the basis for presumed incompetence is allowing somebody to look after your child, even childminders are strangers at the point of meeting.

I see "ask local teenagers to baby sit" suggested on here endlessly when somebody is stuck for childcare, yet I'm a neglectful parent for agreeing to let my child go to butlins with a fellow mother and female friend of multiple years who is DBS checked up to her eyeballs and works in safeguarding for the police 🙄

The message has been delivered but currently unopened (like the one I sent her last weekend)

This is on WhatsApp so she'll have had a notification pop up so she's likely seen them.

that Is extremely rude of her!

Well I think people should have to take a niceness test before being allowed to post on mumsnet.

Some proper nasty people on the threads today, enjoying being bitchy to people posting for advice.

I wouldn’t let my 5year go away for a week with my own mother, who has known him since birth. Never mind someone I’ve known 2.5 years and see occasionally.

That's not ok. I'd go round to her house if it was me. You do have a right to know what's going on as you need to prepare and prepare your DD for whatever the outcome is. Plus, you've paid her.

Point proved.

What point?

Some of these replies are awful and so judgemental. You know your daughter best OP, please ignore the horrible responses.

I hope you hear back from her soon.

Well I would (and have) have let my DC go on holiday with adults I know and trust. FFS some posters are acting like you are planning to traffic her.

That some people’s secret hobby is being unnecessarily unpleasant.

This mother is being extremely unfair not getting back to you. I'd be frustrated and getting angry in your position.

Hope you hear from her soon. Leaving you in limbo is just plain inconsiderate

Good message OP. Hope she gets back to you soon.

Yes some awful replies.

I don’t think it’s anything too sinister op. I suspect the little girl doesn’t want dd now and the mum feels dreadful. Hopefully your text will open her up now.

I've had a response!

She has apologised for not getting back to me sooner, she was camping last weekend when I text her and didn't get around to checking her messages. We're both a bit like that sometimes so usually i wouldn't bat an eye, it was just the fact the trip was coming up that concerned me.

She said she went to text me today and that's when she saw today's ones.

It's still going ahead, she's been packing this morning and has got the girls some bits for the journey.

She doesn't sound like she was looking for an out.

I think I was worrying about nothing as far as her cancelling goes 🤦🏼‍♀️

How do you feel op. You don’t need to send her …

So you're going to be a dreadful mother and let her go?

@SunflowerMabel is dd happy to go? You probably aren't after some if the bad mother comments on here!

I’m so glad all is well OP, if you still feel happy sending her and she is excited about it and happy to go then I’m sure it’ll be fine. I’d have got to the same conclusion as you when I didn’t get a reply. Personally I wouldn’t want someone so disorganised and inconsiderate to take my child away but that’s just me, doesn’t make you a bad parent if that’s ok with you. Just a more relaxed one than me!

She will be fine and if she’s not, you can pick her up.

Just make sure your friend knows to contact you if needed and not to struggle on with an upset child.

Don't let what people on here think change your mind

If you are happy that she'll be well looked after and have a great time let her go

Ah another person who woke up this morning and thought to themselves "I know, I'm going to deliberately be mean to someone on the internet, I fancy making someone feel bad today, such fun!".

Hope your daughter has a wonderful time OP!

I hope she has a lovely time . My third daughter is my most confident and would happily have gone away at that age, and continues to be adventurous to this day . You're not far away if needed.