There's absolutely nothing wrong with iPad at the table at a restaurant after a child centric day

[moomoomouseey]

Imagine a day, filled with child friendly activities on holiday. Think beach, biking sandcastles, swimming together, pool, diving, playgrounds, reading books together, drawing, child centred show in the evening, fun fair, trampoline jumping.. etc etc..

At the end of all this, you go out for a meal. You bring crayons and paper etc and other toys, but after a while, your children are restless and bored but you want to enjoy your meal. You get out the iPads with headphones and let your kids watch for a bit/ play educational games, while you enjoy your meal in peace.

Some judgy judgerpants walks past and thinks you're a bad parent.

Kids are 2 and 4 or 3 and 5.

To be fair nobody is judging using screen time. It's when it becomes an addiction to the detriment of all other activities & interactions that's an obvious issue for childhood development.

As the parent, just do whatever suits you and your family. But it is totally irrelevant to the family (who also might not have a child with them that are in the restaurant) to care what you have done all day with your kids. TBH as a parent who is often on holiday with our kids, if i had a fun packed day as you describe, i would be getting a take-a-way/cooking at home/watching a film then flopping in bed!!

Why do you care what others think?

I am one of those parents who take colouring books, dot to dots when we go out to eat. I'm probably being judged as 'one of those parents'!

I must admit that i don't like it when we are out for dinner and all i can hear is dora the explorer (for example), at least take headphones!

That’s about excessive screen time. If all they’ve had is one hour of iPad at a restaurant, after a busy day of stimulating activities, it’s hardly excessive. Yes some parents do rely on screens too much but that doesn’t sound like it’s OPs case!

I hate it. Mine are 3 and 6 and I really don't like to see it. But it's none of my business and I would never comment or make my feelings apparent.

The most sensible, measured and accurate response on here. On behalf of teachers everywhere, thank you.

I can just imagine

'I won't let my child drink arsenic'
'Oh look at these perfect parents'

Is that the answer to everything, if you are not doing anything wrong then why does it matter what others think or say

'The world needs to stop doing what it's doing because I am sat here being judged on I'm being picked on they are better than me'

Do it own it and stop it with endless issues

I think a lot of people are quite snobby about this. My kids are 30, 20 and 16 so too old to have a tablet at a young age. But if I wasn’t doing it again I would let them. It’s hard enough trying to keep kids from disturbing other people so if they want to play a game or watch a show that’s fine (with headphones). Yes it’s a bit anti social, but it makes life easier. I have a friend who is French and her DD used to sit so well behaved for hours in restaurants as that’s French culture I guess, and she was an only child and always very mature in the way she spoke. I do think that’s preferable but all kids are different and some just couldn’t sit for hours like that, so why not use tech aid that make life easier

My daughter is 20 and is studying Cybersecurity and is also a lovely person and she was a YouTube addict back then when it was just coming out. She's turned out to be a beautiful human being.

Screen time and developmental health: results from an early childhood study in Canada | BMC Public Health | Full Text (biomedcentral.com)

More research. In this one, they conclude that "daily screen time that exceeds the recommended one-hour limit for young children, as suggested by the Canadian 24-h Movement Guidelines for Children and Youth (Tremblay et al. BMC Public Health. 17:874, 2017; Tremblay J Physical Activity Health. 17:92–5, 2020) is negatively associated with developmental health outcomes in early childhood."

I think we can safely assume that a child plonked in front of a screen during dinner has access to screens at other times too, so will be exceeding the hour, therefore having excessive screen time.

Did you read the last paragraph of my post?

lol all these perfect parents.

Sorry but not natural for a 2 year old to sit still for 3 hours for a meal.

Back in the day our parents just wouldn't take us at all.

Go ahead with the iPad, really has no impact when older if you don't have too much screen time otherwise.

What's the point paying to eat if you are walking around the restaurant apologising to other diners the whole time, ESPECIALLY after a child centric day!

I completely get what you are saying and I do similar with my adult daughters. We hang out a lot and we all talk continuously. Literally non stop with both my daughters talk at warp speed 😭😭So,sometimes, when we take a break and go for a coffee we agree to sit and have a chill and all play on our phones in silence for half an hour or so. I guess if people walk by they might think we are boring and obsessed with our phones when the reality is that we have a great time together.

We didnt have iPads when my kids were kids as they hadn't been invented but we made meals out a time where we interacted with the kids the whole time. We played games and talked. We tended to keep meals out shortish. My kids were generally mellow and well behaved so it wasn't difficult with them.

I don't judge parents if they let their kids have iPads at restaurants. I don't care about things like that so it doesn't register with me. I'd judge if they let their kids be noisy or run around as that affects me and I'd really judge loud performance parenting as that's really annoying.

There’s nothing child-centric about not teaching them how to behave properly at the dinner table, either. Especially in a restaurant.

All this about screens causing anxiety I remember having to watch EastEnders as a child because we had one TV and obviously my parents watched this in front of me and all I can remember is having anxiety about who shot Phil Mitchell.

You haven’t actually told us what 'Judgy judgerpants' said. I’m guessing they didn’t say anything or this person is a work of your imagination as you want people to tell you iPads at the table are ok.

Personally, I’ve never allowed it and think it’s a shame to see it. But you do you. I’d hate to be a 'Judgy judgerpants'.

No because I am a perfect parent all the information just lands in my head

It's not needed

I wouldn't take a 2 year old for a three hour meal because of course they're going to get fractious. That's just setting yourself up for failure.

I've mentioned the incident at the Airport & its reminded me of another incident on a train. A young child was on the ipad for 4 hours. Hardly a word was passed unless going to the toilet. When her parents removed it at the destination to help her with her jacket the child was in a total trance, oblivious to her surroundings. It was as if she was still watching the screen. It actually looked quite scary.

Same

yep do what you gotta do! We have the iPad hidden away and never use it at home or on days out - until it’s the meal time otherwise we wouldn’t make it through sometimes with the 3 year old!!

and we use it on the tube on the way home to keep her awake so we aren’t left with a dreaded danger nap!! 😅

court care less what anyone else thinks or has to say about tbh

Nothing wrong with it and I'm sure it won't be harmful for kids if it's used for a limited amount of time but at the same time it's something I don't want to encourage it.

When we were on holiday earlier this year in Greece, we were walking up a slope back to our accommodation one or two nights and when we stopped for a breather we looked way down and could see/hear a local family sat in their garden at a long table, three or four generations l'd say with DC of various ages. We commented how lovely it was yes some of the DC were being a little lively but the family were all interacting/including them in conversation etc. We sat there for quite a while .
I think its important for them to learn their social skills when at a table and at same time that sometimes its not all about them (a couple of 'shushes' etc were aimed at them but also then allowed to speak).
I don't like them or mobiles at the table no.

At that age we brought sticker books or kept it to one course and left.

Honestly, I do judge as I think kids need to learn to engage at the table, but I wouldn't say anything to a random stranger about it.

I'm a 90s kid and we really didn't go out to eat much - it was such a rarity. Maybe 4 times a year for an occasion. Didn't go 'regular' until we were older and could sit through a long meal

I have a 2 year old and we don't eat out loads but still way more than when I was a kid