There's absolutely nothing wrong with iPad at the table at a restaurant after a child centric day

[moomoomouseey]

Imagine a day, filled with child friendly activities on holiday. Think beach, biking sandcastles, swimming together, pool, diving, playgrounds, reading books together, drawing, child centred show in the evening, fun fair, trampoline jumping.. etc etc..

At the end of all this, you go out for a meal. You bring crayons and paper etc and other toys, but after a while, your children are restless and bored but you want to enjoy your meal. You get out the iPads with headphones and let your kids watch for a bit/ play educational games, while you enjoy your meal in peace.

Some judgy judgerpants walks past and thinks you're a bad parent.

Kids are 2 and 4 or 3 and 5.

Ignore the judgement. These people don’t know you. Half of them probably ignore their kids for the majority of the day which is why they can’t understand why you’d need 1hrs peace.

As a fellow diner, I’d also rather your kids watched something quietly than run around the restaurant yelling. No need for the emphasis on educational either. Who gives a shit if they’re watching Bluey or Blue Peter?

Also to the PP who said it didn’t happen in the 70s, well of course not, there were no iPads. However, for many 70’s. And 80’s kids, benign neglect was common place. The kids would have probably been shoved in a back room with a packet of crisps, the car or even left at home with a bored teen or a neighbour whilst their parents were out.

There's no moral high ground for anyone in the hell that is TGIs tbf 🤣

Absolute non issue. Especially with headphones.

Children can be just as much in their own world if they are reading a book or colouring.

Our dc school uses iPads to teach a lot of things. Not saying I love it but it isn’t true to say it can’t be educational. For me the issue is more about lack of cognitive resourcefulness.

What happened to just sitting, talking etc. I know anyone under 35 hates this expression but we all managed it back in the day as children of the 70s (and yes we did go out to restaurants and on holiday).

Absolutely!

Reading some of these posts.

If you so much as walk past and glance at a DC whilst they're on a mobile device of any type you're accused of being "judge judgerpants",
don't even have to open your mouth, you could be mearly looking at what they're watching, by which I suppose you could be accused of being nosey at most, but no you're a "judge judgerpants".

IMO, If the person walking by hasn't spoken to you, slated you off or made a passing comment directly to you, when posting these types of post surely there's only one person doing the judging.

These children are much too young to depend on Ipads for entertainment. They had a full day of activities, and should have been winding down for a bath and a good nights sleep.
They are also too young to be expected to behave like older children at table. If you wanted a quiet meal, you should have arranged to have your own meal separately.

Better than them running around or disturbing everyone else tbh

I wouldn't do it. But it's none of my business what anyone else does so just crack on and don't worry about stranger's opinions

It makes me feel a bit sad to see it, but I don't care unless they had the volume up, that's not OK.

I dislike it and wouldn't do it. But I wouldn't dream of giving my opinion to a stranger.

There is absolutely no reliable, exhaustive research - none - to suggest that watching an iPad in a restaurant has a deleterious impact on how a child develops.

So everybody claiming it is a problem is simply speaking from their own position of prejudice. And do you really care what they think?

My daughter was frequently allowed to watch my phone/iPad at a restaurant when she was tiny. She is now one of the loveliest people I have ever met (probably one of the loveliest people IN THE WORLD, I imagine!) and very academically successful. So from my exhaustive research I would confidently state that iPads in a restaurant are not only permissible, they are ESSENTIAL for your child's development.

See? That's no more stupid than posters who say the opposite. Just trust your instincts - why worry about what other people think. Do you imagine that all the people on here on some sorts of expert in children development?

As long as it's not abusive or unkind to others, do what works for you and your loved ones.

Sadly its not just about tables. There is growing evidence that withdrawal from using screens causes stress & anxiety until the child is 'back on line' Yes, it may be different now with all the new technology but in years to come parents will be saying did that generation of parents seriously allow their children to become so addicted to online games etc they find it difficult to participate in other activities without being anxious & desperate to get 'back online'

At that age when in a cafe or restaurant I provided drawing stuff and activity books for my young daughter.Tablets were just starting to be available at this point and we didnt have one.

But even now I would still avoid using them in this situation. I think the longer kids dont use them the better. This is said as a mother whose daughter did use a family tablet at home from the age of 8. In hindsight it would have been better for her to not have used it this young even though it was monitored and limited.

We have all become too reliant on them and our smart phones.

Would I have commented as I passed your table? No I would not.

Your child, your choice (so long as it's on mute or headphones). Random person going past knows nothing about your day, your child's needs, or any other factors. Do what's right for you and your family.

I am a teacher, I deal with the results every day in the classroom. Nothing wrong with this particular app in itself, in moderation, when with a fully engaged adult, with no other distractions, but it isn't "educational" on its own.

It is basically a cartoon babysitter does nothing for education, attention and behaviour. It justs shuts children up for a bit until they are bored of it and want something nosier and flashier, and then something nosier and flashier after that, until they are so addicted to constant noise and flash that they feel hard done by if expected to sit still and look at a book, and to what these "educational app" parents call "disregulate".

Why do you want your children taught to interact with this inane, ugly garish cartoon figures rather than other human? I quite frankly find them disturbing

It's a bit early for exhaustive research, given this is a modern problem, but here's a start

Effects of Excessive Screen Time on Child Development: An Updated Review and Strategies for Management - PMC (nih.gov)

Quite the hero aren’t you.

We were at Disneyland Paris recently, long coach journey there and kids running on snatched sleep. A long day of activities led by them, we decided we wanted a grown up drink for us so went to the hotel bar. One of my three had their switch at the table (sound off). Sometimes, it is necessary. I am not ashamed for allowing it!

Of course there’s nothing wrong with it. Anyone who decides they want to judge anyone else for it can go and take a running jump as far as I’m concerned.

Well look at all the perfect parents on here.

9/10 my son is perfectly behaved at a restaurant and will sit and colour or play with toys. 1/10 he is restless and the phone comes out with some tv on to calm him down. I’m sure most other customers would prefer this compared to whinging/moaning/crying.

Whats next from all the perfect parents on here? Dare we go back to the hotel room and put some cartoons on for the children? Or is that equally as forbidden?

The trick OP, is not caring about other people. I know I’m a good parent and my child has appropriate levels of screen time, so if anyone were to say anything I’d just ignore them.

Imagine now as a parent you take your child out to eat with friends. You avoid the screens and encourage them to talk and play, so they do and that isn't good enough because they are being too loud and you're getting looks. So you tell them to play quietly which they do because they're good kids and they listen then one of them says a joke and laughs out loud! Again the looks and tutting from Judgy parents who are usually old and have raised their kids already and seem to have forgotten what it's like to have children! So to accommodate the children I mean adults 🤣you then allow your children to watch something just so you can eat in peace while not getting frustrated at your children for being children!

The problem is their young brains. There was a piece on tv about how iPads etc can detrimentally affect the wiring of young brains. I can’t recall the details but I just remember being glad iPads weren’t around when my children were young.

There’s a massive difference between colouring/cards/toys and sitting staring at a screen with headphones on.
I very much agree children learn from the little interactions and practice.
There seems to be a shift to when they are x age they’ll magically be able to do it and parents seem shocked they can’t as they have never learnt.