There's absolutely nothing wrong with iPad at the table at a restaurant after a child centric day

[moomoomouseey]

Imagine a day, filled with child friendly activities on holiday. Think beach, biking sandcastles, swimming together, pool, diving, playgrounds, reading books together, drawing, child centred show in the evening, fun fair, trampoline jumping.. etc etc..

At the end of all this, you go out for a meal. You bring crayons and paper etc and other toys, but after a while, your children are restless and bored but you want to enjoy your meal. You get out the iPads with headphones and let your kids watch for a bit/ play educational games, while you enjoy your meal in peace.

Some judgy judgerpants walks past and thinks you're a bad parent.

Kids are 2 and 4 or 3 and 5.

Personal choice. If noone at the table is communicating or looking at each other maybe that’s where judgement came from. But it’s your business. Not theirs. When one of mine was a toddler he couldn’t sit still in a restaurant, we had to speed eat. So I get it. Mine are older and I would save the screens for in the room for chill time.

If you’re two, you’re going to need a bit of training to learn to sit still for ~1.5hours at a table.

So some of that time might be playing with toys, some might be eating, some might be colouring etc. Why not a bit of time looking at a cartoon, if it helps you to sit still?

Children don’t learn to behave perfectly in restaurants from day one.

I think you need to be realistic about the expectations about what a very young child in particular is able to engage in.

As long as the kids have headphones I'm really don't care/notice

I find it really annoying through when kids are allowed to watch videos with volume - a family came and set on next table in a fairly empty pub and immedietly gave (not tiny) kids a tablet to watch cartoons with the sound on - I was very 'why???' about that.

Also when I see kids that want to interact with parents but are redirected to their tablet, I find that sad.

I can't remember going out for a lot of meals when I was a kid, and then mostly it was places where kids could go outside and play (did same kind of places with my kids). I am however from the era where I was left in the car while my Dad went in the pub, that was boring!

I only judge the cunts with no headphones.

Suggesting there is no difference between children colouring and using screens is absurd.

watch a group of children colouring, sometimes they’re engrossed, sometimes they chat with each other, sometimes they ask mum for a drink or show dad what they’ve drawn, they swap crayons, argue, negotiate, praise their sibling or tell the they’re rubbish.

children on screens with headphones are locked in their own world.

I don’t see the issue - drawing/colouring or reading a book, or playing solitaire with a pack of cards were normal after-dinner restaurant activities for kids in the 70s/80s… all they are doing on ipads is: drawing, colouring, reading or playing a game. With less mess.

It’s like in the 1800s when they thought that women would be corrupted by books, or the 70’s when everyone said TV would rot our brains (might agree with that some days).

"She is too fond of books, and it has turned her brain." [Louisa M Alcott]

When I saw a 3 yr old child very obviously addicted to the screen with his parents highly embarrassed due to his screaming when they tried to remove it so he could concentrate in his food I'm sorry but I did judge. This was simply because I felt so sorry for the wee guy. His face was blue with temper & thats not exaggerating & no he wasnt ND. His mother leaned over and apologised to me saying he's been watching cartooons on it since he was 9 months old & I can't get him off it. I was speechless.

I wouldn’t judge, but equally I’d never do it (parent of 5 here).
We’d chose plays for kids they could play safely in sight, sit them on laps and talk or find childcare

I have a close friend who is a lovely, engaged and fun parent. She spends her days doing crafts and making dens in the park with her kids. They're great kids, funny, polite, lively and clever. But sometimes her 3 yo will play a game or watch a video on her phone for a bit.

It's not either or.

If I was you I would be wise to take advice from parents who have raised their children in the 60's, 70's and 80's you will only get the same response..."My children didn't have iPads they had to use their imagination." They can't relate because we have entered a new age of technology and no matter how much you try it's part of their life. I have three children two of which were born in the early 2000's and one who is 11 months old. So much has changed and I have all these wonderful ideas about how I will limit screen time with my son and how I won't allow him to do this and do that. Reality is technology is a huge part of our lives we as parents have to set boundaries and limitations. I see nothing wrong with your children using their iPad after a fun filled day, they deserve to relax and take a moment and as much as we would like them to have a book instead of an iPad it's just not realistic. That same person who judged you would still have judged you if your kids were talking too loud or running around the restaurant because they are bored. Today too many have too much to say on parenting, do what's necessary and right for your children and bugger the Judge Judy's.

give over what! The Op refers to "educational" 😂there is nothing educational about a 3 year old playing with an ipad, everyone knows that, And what a total waste of a day to have those lovely memories obliterated by inane screen noise, rather than consolidated by being involved with an adult in talking it over.

Exactly! And it's not like the children have the bloody thing all the way through the time the family is sitting there - all through eating FFS! They clearly just have it afterwards, whilst the parents relax. To occupy them, to stop them being bored, and to stop them annoying other people!

I really can't see the difference in a child entertaining themselves by reading a book or drawing, and mooching about on an ipad. It's 2024 people, not the fookin' 1960s! 😆

Someone had a go at me in TGI Fridays over this, said it was too loud. Funny thing was he had to shout it pretty much so he could be heard over the loud music and happy birthday singing. Think he was annoyed at the DC laughing loudly at what they were watching rather than the iPad as no way he could have possibly heard that, plus they had subtitles on so didn't need it on really loud.

I just pretended I couldn't see or hear him stood next to our table blathering on and carried on chatting 🤣

I hate to see kids on Ipads at tables. I wouldn't say anything but I'd definitely be sliently judging you.

My 4 year old uses Edurino, which is really good. Check it out. Very educational.

Bex268 · Today 10:28
Well lots of perfect parents, loads - wow, so many of you are bloody awesome. I bet you’ve all got tonnes of awards (printed off your own computer) congratulating you on your perfectness 🙄.

It seems the judgement comes from both sides.
Countless studies available on this subject, everyone can make their own decisions, if they care to.

Absolutely

All moral high ground lost if you have a non-muted device without headphones in public, at any age.

As long as I couldn't hear it I probably wouldn't even notice what someone on another table was doing. And wouldn't have any opinion if I did see it.

But we don't give our DDs (2 & 5) iPads ever, and they don't play on our phones, so it's not something I'd do.

I absolutely hate seeing kids glued to iPads, YABU. It is good for them to be a bit bored and learn to properly socialise at the dinner table - they don’t need the constant dopamine hits from various games, TV shows etc. It has been proven that it negatively affects their developing brains.

DD’s generation of 00s kids managed perfectly well without screen time whilst out and about so why can’t yours? There seems to be a whole new generation of kids who cannot cope without constant entertainment - the iPads seem to be a big factor in this.

To all of the parents saying it is the same thing as kids colouring in or reading a book, you could not be more wrong and need to educate yourselves.

I don't like to see any tablets/phones at a table when your eating this is adults and children.

It's a time to chat, relax and socialise and enjoy food etc if that's what you want to do you do you.

But I do know that is a lot of people's go to, to get some 'peace' I find it sad

I hate all these ‘well it didn’t happen in my day’ people. 🙄🙄🙄 Bore off

@moomoomouseey I think this is perfectly fine and no one else’s goddamn business, it sounds like you had a lovely day and have happy well rounded children.

I certainly wouldn’t do it but I wouldn’t care that you did as long as it wasn’t making a noise

You do you but I don’t like screens in restaurants. It’s not teaching children how to behave appropriately and the number of families you see just not engaging with each other is really sad. I’d never say anything to someone about it if that’s what’s happened to you but I do wish people would engage more consciously with what they’re doing & the long term messages they’re sending when they instantly pass their bored / unhappy / frustrated / loud dc a screen.

This.