There's absolutely nothing wrong with iPad at the table at a restaurant after a child centric day

[moomoomouseey]

Imagine a day, filled with child friendly activities on holiday. Think beach, biking sandcastles, swimming together, pool, diving, playgrounds, reading books together, drawing, child centred show in the evening, fun fair, trampoline jumping.. etc etc..

At the end of all this, you go out for a meal. You bring crayons and paper etc and other toys, but after a while, your children are restless and bored but you want to enjoy your meal. You get out the iPads with headphones and let your kids watch for a bit/ play educational games, while you enjoy your meal in peace.

Some judgy judgerpants walks past and thinks you're a bad parent.

Kids are 2 and 4 or 3 and 5.

@Laundryliar that was certainly how I was brought up and what I did with my own children. After a long day out on the beach etc then it's obvious the kids are going to be knackered and grouchy. The aim would be to get food in them as quickly as realistically possible and then pack them off to bed.

If we wanted a nice, relaxed dinner then that's what babysitters were for.

Nope, would never allow it.

Sorry but no. I don't believe in screens for children, other than watching television from time to time at home. We don't have an iPad or any other tablet and never had. I have two children. DD1 is 23. There were no screens when she was little. DD2 is 2 and won't be having a screen at all.

@justlonelystars Hardly being a pedant, if someone is going to come on here and state as fact that there's no evidence screen time is harmful (not you), I'm going to refute that. As it's not true.

I don't understand those saying they don't like seeing it. Why? Does it effect your day? Is it going to keep you up at night.

Did the parent giving her child an iPad mean your meal was more enjoyable as the kids were kept busy? Yes!

Many people didn't have seat belts in cars in the 70s and we do now... the argument back in my day doesn't always work!

Good description I thought.

I don't feel there's any reason at all why a two year old needs an iPad. Definitely not at the table.

You're on holiday too. It's absolutely ok to stick the iPad on for half an hour and enjoy your meal in peace. You don't need to rely on it all the time but sometimes for everyone's sanity (including the other diners 😂) it's fine in my opinion.

She said “There is absolutely no reliable, exhaustive research - none - to suggest that watching an iPad in a restaurant has a deleterious impact on how a child develops”

The studies you have shared relate to excess screen time (which she didn’t mention), whether that’s at home, in a restaurant, out and about etc.

In my opinion it is lazy parenting. How do you expect them to behave as adults if your answer is to plonk them in front of an ipad whenever there is a potential that they may become bored. I have never seen children in restaurants with ipads in Italy, France, Spain etc, they are expected to sit at the table with the family and behave, which they do. Parents should talk to their children and involve them in the conversation.

In my experience the majority of kids with ipads on trains/at restaurants NEVER have headphones and their entitled parents just expect everybody in the vicinity to suffer. The children who are plonked in front of ipads will probably become adults who think it is acceptable to be sat at a table with company glued to their phones.

I do not care what anyone think, I don't judge others (except when they allow DC to play loud cartoons and games without headphones).

You don't have to justify yourself. I would have done the same when my DC were little. It was a little more tricky when in the company of friends that limit or have no screen time. In other people's houses we abide by their rules

My house my rules. Even with sleepovers, we had no screens or playing in the garden before 10am. If we had people over, DC were allowed screens after their main or could leave the table.

It’s my top pet hate - children staring at screens during family meals ( no, not the SEN ones before someone comes at me).
It does require effort to share a meal with kids sometimes, you have to include them, talk to them, maybe play with them- But how else are they going to learn to socialise properly?

I'm by no means perfect but absolutely hate ipads and phones being used to keep children quiet in restaurants/cafes, it's awful and lazy parenting, even with headphones.

And for those of us without close relatives to go on holiday with, where are these babysitters coming from ? If I'm going to be judgemental it would be about letting a perfect stranger look after your DC.

We did use babysitters when DS was young, but stopped after an incident where it seemed highly likely that one had brought her BF into the room. I would far rather have DS in front of me chilling on the iPad than with a random babysitter- plus the cost of minimum 10 euros per hour.

No one should judge anyone else for their parenting decisions as none of us are perfect but I agree it’s not great to go from a family meal on holiday to your kids sitting with headphones on not engaging at all with each other or you. It’s also not great for other children in the restaurant to see that. Depending on where you are holidaying it’s also maybe very unusual for locals to see this happen as I get the impression from our travels most kids don’t use iPads at the dinner table. Maybe get some great table games like uno / cards / snap & try that? Your kids will enjoy much more than knowing they are being a nuisance to you wanting a meal with your partner.

Well done you

Agree with the posters saying that it’s lazy parenting. Had a lunch out with grandparents and kids yesterday, the kind of multi generational place where it’s fine for kids to sit at a table and not be quiet etc BUT the family behind us had one kid playing on a phone, volume up, and one watching Bluey, volume up at the table.
They were there the same amount of time as us - less than an hour - and didn’t even look up from their devices when the food came.
Had to ask them twice to turn down the volume - please- to much tutting and eye rolling from the parents.

I think the same.
But I personally would only criticise a parent who was giving an ipad to their child at a restaurant if it bothered me directly (e.g. volume issues).

Live and let live. Honestly it’s so easy to make a quick judgement on a situation without knowing the ins and outs.

Kids on iPads 24/7 = bad parents? Probably.

Kids on iPads for small duration of a family holiday = parents using available technology so that everyone can have a relaxing time and parents can have a (god forbid) small amount of relaxation and enjoy a meal.

Before I was a parent I had all sorts of ideas about what I would and wouldn’t do. It’s very difficult when you’re in the thick of it with young kids. You don’t have to be perfect all the time, in fact the more pressure you put on yourself the harder it can often be.

If kids this age have their own ipads and headphones then they're probably doing it too much. Sorry, but its really not good for their brains and completely unnecessary

I think that's the problem these days! A toddler? A restaurant is not really the place for iPads, children for generations have been able to sit at a table and eat without being stimulated, the don't need to be stimulated every second of the day, they need to be able to have down time otherwise they will never relax. Maybe that's part of the problem these days.

You haven't answered those who asked if someone actually made a judgy comment and what you replied

Exactly this. I wonder when people who give toddlers IPads/ phones to keep them quiet “because they’re too little to sit” are aiming to withdraw the devices? Wouldn’t it be easier to help the children learn social skills in public from their earliest outings?

I would never comment I might eyeroll if the volume’s up high but I think giving a toddler/ small child an iPad is making a rod for your own back and terrible table manners. Children will behave as well as you let them.

I wouldn’t let my kids do it, as they don’t need it and I would prefer for them to chat with us and enjoy the restaurant. BUT I’m not going to care what you do with your kids. As long as they aren’t screaming and running around the restaurant I’m not going to be bothered about someone else’s kids. Got enough on my plate.

I think its fine, you've paid for a meal and deserve to enjoy it without wrangling bored children. I only think its an issue if that's the norm for you.
There's judgey twats everywhere you go.