To think 'no spark' means absolutely nothing?

[Reasonstobebeautiful]

And it's just some generic rubbish that people sprout to avoid the truth.

I'm not suggesting to be rude and harsh in your rejection, but for me 'the spark just wasn't there's is a lazy, meaningless and easy excuse.

People will say 'What do you want us to say then?'
Not telling you what to say, just saying what I think of it.

IMO it means “I don’t fancy you” but in nicer language.

It’s not avoiding the truth so much as saying it in a less directly hurtful way.

It does have meaning. It's a polite way of saying I can't imagine having sex with you. Either because I don't fancy you or because I don't think you'd be up for it with me.

It's not meaningless - it means "I don't fancy you".

Yeah, that's it I guess. It'll probably remain the most popular thing that people say, and the rejectee is still going to be able to work out what it means. I guess we all have our gripes and that is just something I find lazy and irritating for some reason.

I think a spark is more than that, a spark means that you feel that you also connect on an emotional level.

OP - If you haven't felt it before, it's difficult to describe.

Yes exactly - it means I don’t find you sexually attractive. Nothing wrong with it imo.

This.

It means anything from "I expect to be blown away with desire and I wasnt" to "I'm reasonably open-minded but when you picked your nose and ate it during dinner that closed the door for me".

It's an excellent no-blame no-explain get-out phrase

It means "we didn't have the connection romantically for this relationship"

It's not a lazy excuse

I've been on dates with people I find physically attractive but there isn't a spark.

Like I've been great friends with someone but no spark.

Spark is the bit you can't explain, on paper I went out with the ideal man, he was lovely and attractive and funny and perfect , but not for me as there was no spark.

Ultimately however some one dresses it up it means the same thing and it's better than being rude
It's akin to the " it's not you it's me"
In reality it really is you ,but people are trying to sugar coat it.

I think it’s a reasonable characterisation? Some people just make you feel excited because you fancy them, others just don’t. It’s not always easy to pinpoint exactly why or what it is. “Spark” characterises that magnetic excitement you get when you are first getting to know someone you really fancy.

It's just very generic, I know it works for a lot of people but I guess it's not something I believe in.

What don't you 'believe' OP? I don't get it.

You can like someone, enjoy their company and recognise that they are objectively attractive but just not feel a romantic 'spark' when you're with them. It could absolutely be used as a lazy, easy excuse in some situations, but I've definitely met people who have been perfect for me on paper, and very nice to look at, but I've felt nothing...not sure how you would explain that in a more 'meaningful' way really.

This might sound naive but I don't understand how you can find someone sexually attractive, get on really well and be compatible but have no spark? The butterflies thing really doesn't last that long, I just don't know what's missing if you fancy them and like their personality/get on?

It's just very generic, I know it works for a lot of people but I guess it's not something I believe in

So, you’d be happy to sleep with and contemplate a relationship with anyone who either asked you on a date, or you went in a date with? Otherwise, it means you’d be happy to move forward with anyone, which is okay I guess if that suits but but seems a tad odd tbh.

I guess I feel like some people are looking for instant feelings, surely it takes time to start feeling it?

This might sound naive but I don't understand how you can find someone sexually attractive, get on really well and be compatible but have no spark? The butterflies thing really doesn't last that long, I just don't know what's missing if you fancy them and like their personality/get on

Because objectively they may ‘tick all the boxes’ and so you imagine that you’d fancy them but then in reality find that you don’t.

Personally I think that a spark is more than fancying someone or wanting to sleep with them. I've been on several dates where I've not felt a spark and for me that is that I couldn't see myself in a relationship with that person or not having common interests etc.

No the butterflies thing doesn't last that long ,but if you are not feeling any attraction in the very early days than that doesn't bode well for the future
It's difficult to explain attraction because cits either there or not.

Yes, but how many one-on-one dates would you agree to go on with a person you don't really find that interesting? If there's no spark (i.e. no attraction, no special interest in that person, no connection) then I don't feel like seeing that person again, really. It would be different in a group, or friends-of-friends situation, in which you may see that person other times without the pressure of it being a "date" and with a choice to talk to other people too. But in OLD, if there's no spark then that's it, surely. It's the opposite of generic rubbish for me, it's a very honest, very clear and specific reason why a person does not want to keep seeing me, or me them.

This is daft, you know full well OP what a spark is - its not some abstract thing or excuse. You either feel it or you don't. I think you get a vibe from someone pretty quickly.

True, I mean I've heard a couple of people say that they did fancy the person, as in sexually attracted, had stuff in common, but didn't feel a spark? So I didn't understand what was missing further if they did have a connection?

It's about chemistry I think, being on the same wavelength. Not just finding them physically attractive, but connecting mentally / intellectually / emotionally in some way. Usually when you have that chemistry, you are more likely to find them physically attractive too, they aren't unrelated. But it's quite intangible and not as rational as 'we get along ok'.

Sexually attracted and had stuff in common does not guarantee a connection. I think that's the point.