Page 3 | shocked my best friend voted Reform

Kitkat189 · 01/08/2024 02:50

RosaRoja · 31/07/2024 23:48

What a disappointment. I found out one of my friends is a Trumpster and Brexiter (she’s American and lives in the UK with another foreigner) and I have been somewhat repulsed since then. We avoid politics now and I’m still repulsed 8 years on.

This is very interesting to me. I was actually meaning to speak to one of my closest friends who once told me that a certain mainstream political party repulsed and disgusted her, and also that one of the two views re abortion disgusts her. This was 15 years ago, we’ve never mentioned it since, we agreed to disagree. But I sometimes think about this as I can’t relate. I just don’t understand that sentiment.

I have strong convictions and there are things I really disagree with but I’ve never felt disgusted or repulsed by someone else’s views however annoying I find them. I’m sure at least half of the population disagrees with me (and with each other), so the odds are that a lot of the people I really like don’t share my views.

I find it 100 times more annoying when people haven’t even bothered to form a view on important topics.

PinkyPonkyLittleDonkey · 01/08/2024 03:09

So you think you’re holier than thou because you’re a liberal? Seriously? Your friend needs new friends 🤷‍♀️

BeachParty · 01/08/2024 03:23

clearmoon · 31/07/2024 23:42

Long standing close friend came round for dinner and we were nattering away, and she just mentioned off hand in the conversation that she had voted Reform. i am really shocked. We don't discuss politics much. But I would have guessed lib dems or labour. I love her dearly. But I do wonder if I should think about her differently now, or just carry on as before

YANBU - She is not such a good person as I thought all these years
YABU-its all fine

People are entitled to vote for who they like.
For me, it would matter WHY they voted Reform that was important.

Smurf1993 · 01/08/2024 04:04

Maloneyb · 01/08/2024 01:52

Sometimes the most clever are the most unpleasant too!

my best friend was an opposing political supporter to me for years, because of her dad. Now she’s found a partner who is very strong on his opinion of politics he’s managed to educate her better than I ever did and we are more aligned on our views.
she’s been my best friend for 15+ years. If politics was ever a topic of conversation it would quickly end (she never had much to say as it was just support because of her father) and I would always try and push it to the back of my mind. But anyway, it does affect friendships and relationships imo. Her dad has now voted as a reformist too - but now she opposes him and fights against it.

sometimes a bit of education for people who just go with what’s easy..
she’s also a very intelligent and kind person - even more so as we’ve gotten older - which I believe is why her political views changed (as well as smart bf/husband who wa s able to help her understand politics more)

sorry. Long winded way of me trying to say, maybe your friend needs a chat about why - what it means - and then you decide together how to move forward

those saying don’t discuss politics - it’s unavoidable. Life is politics.

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How patronising! People who don't agree with you don't need to be educated until they do! People are allowed to have a different view to you without being uneducated!

startstopengine · 01/08/2024 04:13

Reform and racist link, I see this lots on MN but struggle to understand what part of their policy outline was racist? What were they bring in that causes this reaction?

With your friend I don't think I'd be bothered to loose a friend over what they voted given the utter crappy choices.

Out of interest OP what did you vote and why? What made your vote superior?

swimsong · 01/08/2024 05:13

mirrensidhe · 01/08/2024 00:35

Do you not see the irony?

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No, explain what you think is ironic.

tuvamoodyson · 01/08/2024 05:47

Does your friend still want to be friends with you despite who you voted for? Maybe since your views don’t align, she thinks differently about you? Unless, of course, you voted the right way…

EasternStandard · 01/08/2024 05:53

What will you do op drop your bf?

Maybe she’ll feel similarly now you’ve started an mn thread to invite criticism of her voting choice and it’s a favour anyway

coworkingdesk · 01/08/2024 05:56

It’s really hard. I know that it’s totally up to her who she votes for but I couldn’t be friends with someone who voted for Reform.

connie26 · 01/08/2024 05:59

Well, 14% voted for them, so they must have their reasons.

Luddite26 · 01/08/2024 06:03

My sil voted Tory in 2019 and I have nothing to say to her these days because of the ignorant comments she made at the time. It put me off her and since other things have been exposed and I just don't like her. It's the step to the right and the unwanted preaching about it

Maloneyb · 01/08/2024 06:04

Smurf1993 · 01/08/2024 04:04

How patronising! People who don't agree with you don't need to be educated until they do! People are allowed to have a different view to you without being uneducated!

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No I think I either explained the point wrong or you misunderstood

she gave no interest in understanding the parties until
her bf came along - it was a “I’ll support them because my dad does” not knowing what she was supporting exactly.. but if you wanna take it as manipulation then that’s on you.. because it wasn’t lol

zoemum2006 · 01/08/2024 06:05

I couldn't be friends with someone who lacked critical thinking skills and anyone who votes for a Nigel Farage party (who is such a blatant con artist/ grifter) would no longer have my respect. I don't see how you could be friends with someone you didn't respect.

Viviennemary · 01/08/2024 06:12

swimsong · 31/07/2024 23:52

She may be just ignorant.

Democracy at its best. This you must be thick because you don't share my views syndrome is a little tiresome.

Hopper123 · 01/08/2024 06:12

Me and my best friend of nearly 20 years are complete opposite sides of the political and also religious spectrum do you know what that means? We have amazing conversations when we go out to the pub, we actually discuss respectfully what we disagree on as well as lots we agree on...we also funnily enough actually align our opinions on a lot of topics but just disagree on how those things could/should be resolved. In the end we both understand each other neither of us are racist/bigoted etc etc. We have very different lives where she is breadwinner for her family and I am stay at home, the kind of area we live in is vastly different and yet we love each other dearly and have great fun. You are very closed minded to consider that you should only be around people who think like you. It is healthy, respectful debate and disagreement which aids democracy not echo Chambers and fear of others not liking your opinion on things. Perhaps she doesn't like how you vote but instead of judging you she looks at the bigger picture of who you are and her lived experience of friendship with you.

Mrsdyna · 01/08/2024 06:13

It changes my opinion of someone when they tell me that they voted for Labour.

ShouldhavebeencalledAppollo · 01/08/2024 06:17

Surly you then had a conversation about it? Or did you just recoil in horror?

The biggest mistake we make again and again is to just brand people a racist because they don’t think the same as us. It’s a silencing tactic and it’s led to the current shit show we have.

Silencing people and calling them bigots ends up with people voting for brexit and Reform. It pushes people to support the likes or Trump or Farage.

The people who brand people who think differently from them (and I mean differently, I don’t mean people who are full of hate. Plenty of people just feel differently without hating anyone) as thick, stupid, lacking critical thinking aren’t clever. They make the situation worse. At some point someone has to confront it. What is going on that normal and good people feel they can’t vote for anyone else? That’s what needs confronting.

RainRainGetTaeFuck · 01/08/2024 06:24

altmember · 01/08/2024 00:50

bigot
noun [ C ]
disapproving
UK
/ˈbɪɡ.ət/ US
/ˈbɪɡ.ət/

a person who has strong, unreasonable beliefs and who does not like other people who have different beliefs or a different way of life:

Being critical of someone because they have racist beliefs is not the same as being critical because of skin colour or ethic origin. That's not irony.

MadameMassiveSalad · 01/08/2024 06:28

Justbeinganoseycow · 31/07/2024 23:56

Why do people feel the need to disclose who they vote for? It's private IMO.

Never talk politics or religion.

Don't be silly.

MadameMassiveSalad · 01/08/2024 06:29

sesquipedalian · 31/07/2024 23:59

People vote many ways for many reasons. The consensus of opinion at the last election from many people I’ve spoken to seemed to be that the Conservatives deserved to lose, but Labour didn’t deserve to win. To vote for more or less any of the small parties could be seen as a protest vote, in that they were never going to form a government. And if your friend voted Reform because she agrees with their policies, that is her prerogative. You don’t need to fall out about it!

I'd fall out over it. Jesus.

Elbone · 01/08/2024 06:30

People have different experiences and priorities.
We live in a democracy.

ChardonnaysBeastlyCat · 01/08/2024 06:30

Kianai · 01/08/2024 01:50

You have to be left.

It is the only morally and socially acceptable choice.

Acceptable by whom?

MadameMassiveSalad · 01/08/2024 06:30

MrsSkylerWhite · 01/08/2024 00:22

It does if they’re racists. .

Exactly

MadameMassiveSalad · 01/08/2024 06:34

Elbone · 01/08/2024 06:30

People have different experiences and priorities.
We live in a democracy.

And people who aren't ignorant or racist are allowed to judge others who voted for hatred and division in our society. And we very much should talk about politics. It's important.

Notellinganyone · 01/08/2024 06:34

sesquipedalian · 31/07/2024 23:59

People vote many ways for many reasons. The consensus of opinion at the last election from many people I’ve spoken to seemed to be that the Conservatives deserved to lose, but Labour didn’t deserve to win. To vote for more or less any of the small parties could be seen as a protest vote, in that they were never going to form a government. And if your friend voted Reform because she agrees with their policies, that is her prerogative. You don’t need to fall out about it!

I would disagree.Reform are overtly racist and I couldn’t really be friends with someone that espoused those views so for me it would be a deal breaker.