shocked my best friend voted Reform

[clearmoon]

Long standing close friend came round for dinner and we were nattering away, and she just mentioned off hand in the conversation that she had voted Reform. i am really shocked. We don't discuss politics much. But I would have guessed lib dems or labour. I love her dearly. But I do wonder if I should think about her differently now, or just carry on as before

YANBU - She is not such a good person as I thought all these years
YABU-its all fine

Are you only friends with people who share your thoughts, views and opinions op? I have friends with a whole spectrum of opinions, political or otherwise. I like it that way. So, for me, no I wouldn't stop being friends.
We learn, grow and develop, we all change over the course of a lifetime. It's a bit arrogant to think it's your way or no way!

Voting reform is like being a paedo is it?

what a spectacularly stupid thing to say.

I am friends with people with a wide range of views. But I am not friends with people who support racist parties and are comfortable with the policies of Reform UK. They have a very different moral framework to myself and very different values.

I couldn’t be comfortable being friends with anyone who voted for an antisemitic party so now I, too, only speak to people who confirm my biases and live with me in my echo chamber

is this genuinely how you go through life?

bigot
noun [ C ]
disapproving
UK
/ˈbɪɡ.ət/ US 
/ˈbɪɡ.ət/

a person who has strong, unreasonable beliefs and who does not like other people who have different beliefs or a different way of life:

No. I have certain morals and values. My friends and I have different views about lots of things, but we have very similar morals and values.
I think that is common with friendships. For example, people who think it is okay to steal from others, tend to have other friends who are criminals and think the same way. People who believe in equality tend to have friends who also believe in equality. Underlying value systems matter.

So we should be friends with people who would vote for Hitler if he was alive as we should accept people having different views? Is that really what is being argued? Because in real life people do care about others views.

Voting Reform doesn’t make her a bad person. And plenty of people with different political views see eye to eye. Have you asked her why she voted Reform?

Voting for Reform is obviously nowhere the same as voting for Hitler. Can you not see you’re being quite extreme by comparing them to Hitler?

This. Cannot you not accept that we all have different views and different needs and vote whichever way for all sorts of reasons?

Your friend who voted Reform may be considering your friendship because of how you voted. Who knows? But to reconsider an established friendship or relationship because of another's voting choice is pretty immature

We all accept that people have different views and vote in different ways. Why can you not accept that we choose who we want to be friends with and that friends views on key issues can affect that decision?

@Acapulco12 do you understand what an underlying principle is? In other words I am using that example to illustrate that who people vote for can matter in some circumstances when it comes to friendship.

The fact that non white people might have voted for them doesn't alter my views.

Think your thread just confirms why there are so many silent voters. They know they will be outcast by their social circle, pretend they vote for Labour to fit in but then shock horror, comes the 'I don't know anyone who voted for them! How did they get so many votes?!'

As I understand it, some of us are being berated on this thread for not wanting to be friends with someone who voted for Reform.
I find this a very strange thread. I am used to deciding for myself who I am friends with, and if that friendship has run its course. I do not accept a stranger on the internet has the right to tell me who I should be friends with and to tell me my views about this do not matter.

@totallythere why do you mention Labour? There are other mainstream parties. Personally I have voted some times for Labour, sometimes for Conservative and once Lib Dems. Please do not make assumptions.

I am aware that people who voted for Reform may keep it quiet. Although I have talked to people who have been proud to say they voted for Reform, so I am not convinced your stereotype about Reform voters is true.

As an adult it’s naturally transpired that the people I’m friends with have similar outlooks on life to me. But I had one friend from school, who I knew voted Tory…now this wouldn’t be an automatic reason for me to necessarily disown someone but we ended up having a VERY public argument on FB where honest to god it was like she was spouting Daily Mail headline after Daily Mail headline, but not only that she was making it personal towards me, essentially calling me a scrounger for being a single parent on benefits.

We were no longer friends after that. I honestly don’t miss her at all. She did try to come crawling back a few times but I just ignored her.

I now maintain the opinion that for someone to be a really good friend they generally have to vaguely align with me politically. It just seems to work better that way. I can rub along with someone who is right wing but only if politics is never mentioned.

There are lots of silent voters out there and I use Labour as an example. In my workplace you can't even say you voted Tory or you would be outcasted. This is my experience, and I wish people were free to say who they voted without being judged but unfortunately they are - in my experience anyway, which is what my assumption is made on.

only 1 in every 5 adults eligible to vote actually voted labour. 2 in 5 didn’t vote and 2 in 5 voted for Con/LD/Reform/smaller parties. It’s therefore not that surprising that your friend voted reform.

both main parties were poor options imo. That’s what generally drove people to vote reform. Not some underlying racism - although many racist people would have chosen reform. Reform got a lot of votes from frustrated people.

you shouldn’t judge her for it. You can judge her if you think she’s racist - but I’d say most reform voters just wanted change - not con or lab. And weren’t motivated by racism.

I considered reform. I didn’t actually do it. I’m not hard right. But many didn’t consider it to be hard right - just wanted chance.

my 18yo voted LD but when out with 18yo friends, he found they had voted for Green, con, lab, reform, LD…all over the place basically. And it’s because neither main party was great.

Change not chance

Why are you talking in the workplace about who you voted for? They are colleagues, not friends.
Friends are different and I would not be friends with someone who voted Reform.
And of course people are judged on who they vote for. You seem ridiculously naive. As if your views should not matter and everyone should just accept you as a friend.

And every Reform voter I have talked to has either been racist, or comfortable with racism. A lot of people are.

You have to be left.

It is the only morally and socially acceptable choice.

Sometimes the most clever are the most unpleasant too!

my best friend was an opposing political supporter to me for years, because of her dad. Now she’s found a partner who is very strong on his opinion of politics he’s managed to educate her better than I ever did and we are more aligned on our views.
she’s been my best friend for 15+ years. If politics was ever a topic of conversation it would quickly end (she never had much to say as it was just support because of her father) and I would always try and push it to the back of my mind. But anyway, it does affect friendships and relationships imo. Her dad has now voted as a reformist too - but now she opposes him and fights against it.

sometimes a bit of education for people who just go with what’s easy..
she’s also a very intelligent and kind person - even more so as we’ve gotten older - which I believe is why her political views changed (as well as smart bf/husband who wa s able to help her understand politics more)

sorry. Long winded way of me trying to say, maybe your friend needs a chat about why - what it means - and then you decide together how to move forward

those saying don’t discuss politics - it’s unavoidable. Life is politics.

This is so bad on you Op, not her. Open your mind. People have different experiences. Something very controlling and childish about those who judge based upon voting.