Who is being unreasonable - children taken to park during summer camp

[Jimmies]

DS5 is doing summer holiday camp. Run by same people as do his after-school club. The holiday camp is held at the school, in the same hall/area as the after-school club.

Started from 9am this morning. DH dropped DS off at 10.30am (!) but found all the children and the staff had gone to a playground 10 mins walk up the road. So weren't at the school at all.

We weren't told there would be any trips out of the school.

I think if he'd been dropped off on time - it would have been mentioned they were planning on making a little trip. It's only 10 mins walk away, there are only 10 kids.

DH is furious. I think he's been v affected by yesterday's news and is saying no way can they just take kids to the park without us giving explicit permission for them to be taken off site. All the info and marketing of the club was about being at the school doing activities on site.

He wants to pull DS out of the holiday camp (which would NOT be good for DS at all). I want him to stay in the camp - it's with all his friends.

What do you think? I am under-reacting or is he over-reacting?

I don't think it matters that there wasn't a written permission form. As others have said, parents were probably informed verbally on drop off.

Loads of children go to childminders in the holidays and certainly wouldn't expect to be asked permission or informed in advance about trips to the park!

Is there a specific rule anywhere that all childcare settings, or childcare settings over a certain size, need consent to take children off site?

Our holiday club is the same set up in that it is also after school club. We give one overarching consent to outings etc which covers all bookings (whether after school or holiday club). They also give us a timetable of activities at the start of the holidays so we can see what's on when.

At our holiday club, all outings are pre planned and have to be agreed to by parents in advance. Also, unless it's a planned outing day with a departure/return time, the kids can be dropped off/picked whenever.

I do think he's overreacting a bit, but I can kind of see where's he's coming from.

No wonder there is a shortage of childcare providers when this arsehole is a prime example of the type of customers they get.

We appear to be married to the same person!!!! My DP can never accept blame for anything and will always get defensive and angry and look to find fault with someone else. And he will also say people have “fucked up” all the time.

In this instance your DH took him to the setting late! And as you say if he’s been on time they probably would have told him. Regardless all the children are surely being well looked after. He is angry because he’s deflecting any blame firmly
away from himself for being late and looking for reasons to blame someone else for something.

It is quite possible they requested signed permission on arrival today and wanted to go before it got too hot. Did they know to still expect your ds? Seems as if your dh is projecting somewhat.

At my kids holiday club they ask you to sign a permission slip on the morning you drop them off. It only gives permission to take them off the premises that day only and they tell me exactly what they have planned. I’m sure your one would have done the same.

He is being ridiculous. He will cause anxiety in his child too if he carries on like this.

I think he is overreacting but I understand in light of the news. I know lots of mums on edge about it and so why shouldn't your DH be anxious as a result. Speak to him about it, speak to the holiday camp about their plans but you probably don't need to pull DS out

He has over reacted

even nurseries take the kids on outings. Ours often went to the park or local museum

Surely with holiday club, like nursery, you pay for the hours but it's up to you whether you use them. He wasn't "late". I'd have expected small trips off site at a holiday club. Are you sit wasn't made clear? I'd ask about their policies but wouldn't pull my dc out or withdraw my permission

They re not going to stick around in school for one child. Our holiday vlub asked parents permission on a sort of form at the beginning of enrolment saying that they might take children to the park. They also might have asked permission as the kids were coming in. He sounds like "that parent". If he'd been there on time he'd have all the info he needs.

I work in a school and we don't need explicit permission for trips like this

I think it's likely if your husband had dropped DS off on time they would have mentioned going to the park? As long as they made sure the children all had hats, sunblock and water, and they have a decent adult to child ratio, I wouldn't be unhappy with them going. Presumably all activities including the trip to the park would have been risk assessed. Your husband can ask about off site activities next time he drops DS off. He sounds like a bit of a drama queen frankly!

I spent 42 years working as a teacher (predominantly students aged 5yo-7.5yo) and found that very few parents read the whole permission note they were signing OR, indeed, knew the times or details of specific activities. At a conservative guess, I'd say there were 2500-3500 problems (during my career) caused by parents or carers who did not avail themselves of the copious information on school notes, school bulletins or on the school website.

That is no surprise as maybe as many as 99% of people don't read the Terms & Conditions on app or software purchases or warranties or traffic tickets.

Conditioned ignorance like this is okay as long as they don't 'bitch' to teachers and school principals, police, government officers or store clerks and managers.

Too few people say 'mea culpa'.

I'm betting that there's a high chance that your partner/spouse is having a storm in a teacup moment brought on by minimalist reading of the of the OOSH/day camp enrolment/sign up details.

If the communication states drop off at 9:30am then they are asking you to arrive by then.
If they say holiday club open from 9:30am I would say it's acceptable to drop off at anytime.

Erm, that’s an hour and a half late. At our camp you would get a talking too, as it’s very inconvenient for someone to have to spend the day waiting for latecomers. Especially with security measures in mind, not a good use of their staff. Usually they ask you to sign up for days out in advance, and or you sign a disclaimer when dropping off. I think your DH needs to work on his timekeeping, doing so may allow him to gather information about what the club day will entail.

No-one takes a child off-site without parental consent at some point in the process. DH simply needs to ask how this is covered, before going off the deep end.

He’s being a total dick and if this is a regular occurrence I would demand that he gets anger management classes. The poor kids.

Did he bother to get out of bed on time this morning?

I'm glad I'm not back in for a week, as it would really piss me off to be busy transferring files, running reports, updating software and the like to be accosted by an incompetent demanding to know where the kids' club had got to. At least the gates are going to be locked from now on, so by the time I'm back in work, if they don't turn up on time, they aren't getting in at all.

@Jimmies

I was expecting an update from when son was picked up from holiday club - did you pick him up or Daddy.

Has son gone to holiday club today ? who took him ? was he taken on time ? or was holiday club used as a drop in center again.

Errr this. It got my alarm bells ringing that holiday club is being used when he’s off work and it’s most likely for the best. Bet OP doesn’t get a week off work to chill without children though

With the recent event happening I can understand your husband being anxious but he is over reacting slightly. I'm sure they would have informed him at drop off they were planning a trip out. They'd most probably need signed permission slip for insurance purposes so had he of dropped earlier he'd probably have been notified. When you collect your child ask if they can give more notice if possible of trips out. However, that might not be possible given the weather changes from one day to the next

I don't think he's overreacting - unless they did ask permission from every parent and have done a full risk assessment. I'd also expect the adults and ideally kids to be in high-vis.

I used to work in a faith school and parents gave consent when they joined for the children to walk to the church which was pretty much next to the school. Anything further away required Trip Forms, high vis and higher ratios. Even a walk up the road.