Who is being unreasonable - children taken to park during summer camp

[Jimmies]

DS5 is doing summer holiday camp. Run by same people as do his after-school club. The holiday camp is held at the school, in the same hall/area as the after-school club.

Started from 9am this morning. DH dropped DS off at 10.30am (!) but found all the children and the staff had gone to a playground 10 mins walk up the road. So weren't at the school at all.

We weren't told there would be any trips out of the school.

I think if he'd been dropped off on time - it would have been mentioned they were planning on making a little trip. It's only 10 mins walk away, there are only 10 kids.

DH is furious. I think he's been v affected by yesterday's news and is saying no way can they just take kids to the park without us giving explicit permission for them to be taken off site. All the info and marketing of the club was about being at the school doing activities on site.

He wants to pull DS out of the holiday camp (which would NOT be good for DS at all). I want him to stay in the camp - it's with all his friends.

What do you think? I am under-reacting or is he over-reacting?

Are you sure it wasn’t in the t&cs for the club? Our holiday club that does this always says they may take kids to the local playground.

anyway I think the ‘unprofessional and too relaxed’ attitude is showing up at holiday club at 10.30, quite frankly.

@Jimmies He keeps saying 'they've fucked up, they've fucked up' nah, he is the one who fucked up!!! camp starts at 9am! would his boss be happy if he rocked up to work at 10.30am instead of 9am?? I think not!!! he would have been told if he had been there at the correct time!!

He sounds extremely strange. I wouldn’t want my children witnessing his extreme odd reaction to perfectly normal events in case they started behaving like that.

Also those poor victims in Southport were indoors they are probably safer in a park you could all scatter off.

I don't understand the connection with yesterday, those poor kids weren't taken to a park, they weren't take off site, they were there in the venue where the holiday club was.

The other bit I don't get is why would you put your son in a holiday camp for the week when dad is on holiday? Surely this is a week they could be having fun together.

I've just looked at the T&C's of my kids holiday care and it covers trips in the immediate area including a two pages of risk assessments.

Did you get given one?

I'd suggest husband gets some therapy for 'angry-anxious' it will only get worse as the kids get older.

He's being way over the top, this is so normal. My two are going to the park today too.

Are you sure that in signing him up for this club you didn’t give blanket permission for this sort of thing already? My children’s holiday club paperwork covers local trips on foot - you’d have been told they sometimes go to the local parks and given permission when you signed them up.

It’s a complete overreaction by your DH - one absolutely awful incident (which was inside a building anyway) does not mean your child is at any significant risk on a trip to the local park with a holiday club.

He's being unreasonable, but after the events of yesterday, it's a bit understandable that he is now worried about his child's safety in a world where he would have previously thought he'd be safe at a club like that. Because everyone thought that, until the news broke yesterday.

He fucked up being 1.5 h late.

Your DH is over reacting massively and needs to get a grip

When I sign up for summer schemes there is usually a box to tick if you consent to trips or off-site visits.

Agree that he probably would have been told about the trip if he had turned up on time. 1.5 hours late in the morning is pretty lazy if it's due to "going slow" rather than illness etc.

Can you check with them going forward what their policy is for trips offsite?

Did they contact you to ask whether DS was coming in?

Complete over reaction on the part of your DH and worrying that these things are being said in front of your child as well, that will influence how they feel and cause them to feel anxious too.

Honestly I would probably double check that it does say that in the Ts & Cs because it should. The one my child goes to does trips out and also says they will take them to the park if the weather is nice. But your DH needs professional help as he’s overreacting to a ridiculous degree.

Your DH is being very silly.
Has he read the consents you signed because they may well have included local trips.
He was so late he has no idea what was said at drop off and that is on him.
He needs to learn to manage his own anxiety in a better way this isn't about the summer school.

Here is a radical idea. Why doesn't he calmly ask them what their policy is on trips out. They might give him an explanation and you might have actually already signed a contract at the beginning.
If you are both unhappy with their policy ask to opt out of trips out.

Your DH is being a total spanner.

Tell him to get up earlier next time too, I bet they were all waiting around for him to get his lazy arse out of bed.

He is definitely overreacting. Isn't it good that they are taking the children out rather than being stuck in the school all the time as though they were at school.
I can understand his concern after the terrible events yesterday but the holiday club taking them to the playground is more dangerous than you or him taking them to the playground.

Of course the anxiety and anger will rub off on your children, don't be surprised if they end up with mental health issues!

Did dh bring him home or leave him there?

Ask him what the alternative is? If you're both working then he needs to go somewhere. Fine to have a moan but can't pull him out without an alternative.

To pacify him I would suggest whoever drops off checks if any trips planned if it works as a compromise.

Are you sure you haven't already agreed to off site trips?

In all my DCs clubs, there's been forms to sign agreeing to suncream, first aid, off site trips etc... without exception - over 10 years!

I strongly suspect it was on the permission slip you signed and didn't read it carefully!

Our nursery is the same (although don't tell my DD that some places can visit the beach, she'll lose her mind because she loves it and we live in the middle!!).

I love it. And I don't know it's happend til she arrives home (DH does pick up) and very excitedly tells me "I been the PARK!".

Your husband is overreacting completely. He sounds like he doesn't handle these sorts of situations very well.

Why was he an hour and a half late. He can't be content to let you organise everything and then complain about it.

What happened yesterday was utterly devastating but your husband is being unreasonable. Those poor children were inside a hall and this happened, how is going to the park more of a danger?