Page 4 | Kids want Halloween over AI holiday in turkey

amyjane1989 · 2024-07-29T12:34:00+00:00

My two children age 14 and 12 would prefer Halloween in the uk over an all inclusive holiday in Turkey with onsite waterparks. Am I being unreasonable to be upset about this and think my children are brats?

EllieLeo · 29/07/2024 16:17

My 10 year old loves Halloween. More than Christmas. No idea why as we don’t do anything major - he gets a costume and we go trick or treating for an hour or so. But he loves it.

He wouldn’t want to go on holiday here Halloween either - not because he’s a brat but because he loves Halloween.

Lulaloo · 29/07/2024 16:21

We went to canaries AI last year. They did lots of Halloween activities/shows in the hotel that week and it was lovely with a real spooky atmosphere. Not so sure about Turkey, I think they do have something similar at the same time🤞.

LostTheMarble · 29/07/2024 16:25

namechange1986 · 29/07/2024 14:01

I think one being autistic may have been useful to put in your first post tbh.

My ds finds holidays incredibly stressful and would always prefer to be at home.

Absolutely this. As a parent of autistic children, holidays are very much arranged around how much they can cope. It’s not as simple as ‘your parents have booked it so tough shit’.

somepeopleareunbelievable · 29/07/2024 16:26

amyjane1989 · 29/07/2024 13:48

Would be south Turkey near Cyprus so better time to go. North Turkey Izmir is colder. So sad that they choose Halloween over family time and their only holiday abroad. Expect it at 14 but not 12. My son is autistic at 12 years old so sees the world in one way and what he wants. Just know that as a child I loved holidays and loved my friends. My family and friends are shocked by their decision and they just said do I won’t go.

Your tone sounds a lot like emotional blackmail. At 12 and 14 they're supposed to start prioritising friends over family - it's not about you and doesn't mean they don't love you. Halloween is a big deal to kids now (much bigger than it used to be) - mine would also refuse to go on holiday and miss it, unless it was their dream holiday. I wouldn't take it personally though and nor would I force them to go on hols against their wishes.

TinyYellow · 29/07/2024 16:29

They’re probably saying no to that time because they know you’re only choosing it so that your partner can go. They’d rather go with just you, in the summer, at the same time everyone else is going on holiday.

AGodawfulsmallaffair · 29/07/2024 16:31

Testina · 29/07/2024 14:30

Hmmmmm. I searched your name as I wondered if this was actually their stepdad or your boyfriend.

Not 3 months ago you were posting that you were in an emotionally abusive relationship with a man who had an affair and who was horrible to your kids - whom his own adult children no longer bothered with.

Maybe they prefer the make-believe horror of Hallowe’en rather than the day to day shit of being with a man who is nasty to them, ramped up by the close quarters of a holiday?

They’re not brats - they quite reasonably don’t want to be on holiday with this bullying arsehole. Did you take up the advice last time to speak to Women’s Aid?

Oh and it’s hard to leave because you’re in debt - so why the holiday anyway?

Well, no wonder. Quite a bit of missing info!

Lovetotravel123 · 29/07/2024 16:36

I would say that there isn’t a choice. My child has never had Halloween at home because we always go away in October half term. Maybe it is an opportunity to teach them gratitude for whatever they get.

Iaminthefly · 29/07/2024 16:36

YABU. I wouldn"t want to miss Halloween for a holiday in Turkey either...and I'm 45!

AGodawfulsmallaffair · 29/07/2024 16:37

Lovetotravel123 · 29/07/2024 16:36

I would say that there isn’t a choice. My child has never had Halloween at home because we always go away in October half term. Maybe it is an opportunity to teach them gratitude for whatever they get.

Gratitude for her abusive partner?

pocketaces · 29/07/2024 16:39

I see OP has gone quiet now the truth is out. Is it the same boyfriend? No wonder they don't want to go

TheaBrandt · 29/07/2024 16:45

Heydiddlediddlethecatandthefiddle · 29/07/2024 15:35

I never ‘celebrated’ Halloween as a child so I can’t really understand their POV. I’d have always picked a holiday (and that was always a UK break too!) Do you go all out for Halloween normally? We don’t make a big deal out of it now with our young children. No trick or treating etc and all we do is pick a pumpkin and carve it really. Hoping they don’t see it as a big deal in the future!

Edited

They almost certainly will! Make the most of being in charge - by late primary / early secondary they start to have their own opinions and Halloween is massive for young teens no matter how much parents may disapprove! Friends booked a child friendly theatre trip for their 13 year olds one Halloween - big mistake.

stayathomer · 29/07/2024 16:50

I’d prefer Halloween as an adult, love it!! To be honest I disagree with the people saying’just book it’ , I’d make sure to be back for halloween or you’ll have the moaniest holiday ever- and you’ll be bitter and fighting them all the way. Halloween and Christmas are sacrosanct here, too many traditions and fun times to be had!!!

stayathomer · 29/07/2024 16:52

Heydiddlediddlethecatandthefiddle

definitely start trick or treating, halloween games and pumpkin carving this Halloween- great excitement and fun!!!

Turophilic · 29/07/2024 16:56

Hallowe’en is a big deal to the young teens around here. No more trick or treating because they are too old, so it’s fancy dress parties and scary movies with takeaways stretched over two or three nights.

Of course they’d rather be with their friends.

Olympics2024 · 29/07/2024 16:57

amyjane1989 · 29/07/2024 13:38

I said I am booking our holiday to Turkey in October half term as the temperature will be more manageable and less busy. We can get some sunshine whilst it’s cold back home and be a nice break between summer hols and Christmas. I have also told them it’s the only time my partner and I can get off together apart from Christmas due to new jobs, so it’s the only time we can go on holiday this year and they both said no we won’t be coming.

Unless the pools are heated you will need wet suits and to be hardy.

Goodadvice1980 · 29/07/2024 17:03

amyjane1989 · 29/07/2024 13:48

Would be south Turkey near Cyprus so better time to go. North Turkey Izmir is colder. So sad that they choose Halloween over family time and their only holiday abroad. Expect it at 14 but not 12. My son is autistic at 12 years old so sees the world in one way and what he wants. Just know that as a child I loved holidays and loved my friends. My family and friends are shocked by their decision and they just said do I won’t go.

Teenagers don’t care about family time 😂

somepeopleareunbelievable · 29/07/2024 17:15

Having caught up I also now just think they don't like your boyfriend and don't want to go on holiday with him, but you're annoyed because they are an inconvenience to you. It's not them being bratty.

VickyEadieofThigh · 29/07/2024 17:17

Ponoka7 · 29/07/2024 13:39

Where about in Turkey? I've been the middle of October and it's rained and been chilly. How good is the AI? Tbf Turkey isn't somewhere I've enjoyed. But as said, teens want to be with their friends.

Yes, there's no guarantee of hot weather the last week in October in the Med - it can be wet, too.

Createausername1970 · 29/07/2024 17:19

Boltonb · 29/07/2024 15:35

You need to reassess your life and your opinions.

You are calling your children brats (one of whom is ND) for not wanting to go on holiday with a man who:

•Is emotionally abusive (your words)
•constantly criticises your children, including accusing your ND son of simply being “badly behaved”
•has taken money from you for the house but refused to have you on the mortgage/deeds so you have no security
•had an affair with a woman at work, and has told you that he doesn’t trust you
•gets sulky and cross when you go to the office/go on a night out/leave the house.

Add to this that you’ve said you can’t afford to leave because of the debt that you’re in - why spend money on a holiday?

Advanced search, as suggested by a previous poster shows that you are not in a good relationship, and your children are suffering from living with your boyfriend

Edited

And here's your answer OP.

Your "brattish" ND 12 year old that sees the world his way, would appear to be seeing it a very good way.

Some of the comments on here are harsh, but if what you have previously posted is true, why aren't you doing something about improving their situation rather than trying to enforce something that might be very far from what most of us would class as a "family holiday"

SleepingStandingUp · 29/07/2024 17:37

amyjane1989 · 29/07/2024 13:48

Would be south Turkey near Cyprus so better time to go. North Turkey Izmir is colder. So sad that they choose Halloween over family time and their only holiday abroad. Expect it at 14 but not 12. My son is autistic at 12 years old so sees the world in one way and what he wants. Just know that as a child I loved holidays and loved my friends. My family and friends are shocked by their decision and they just said do I won’t go.

And what did they say when you said of course you're going, we're your parents, you can hardly stay home alone"?

ShouldhavebeencalledAppollo · 29/07/2024 17:39

Ah so your boyfriend is abusive. You think your kids are bratty because they don’t want to go on, what is your idea of a good holiday?

One is autistic, which is very relevant, but you chose to leave that and describe them as brats. You then run to family to support your judgment of them.

and you wonder why they may not want to go on holiday with you and your boyfriend.

all feels like rage bait posting to be honest. You might need to look at yourself.

LightFull · 29/07/2024 17:40

Halloween is a big deal for DC especially when there are parties to go to

Be pleased they enjoy the simple things in life

LightFull · 29/07/2024 17:43

Are you putting your DP needs ahead of your DC

If a DP is abusive then in turn so may the partner be too allowing them near their DC

I say this in generic terms MN

mm81736 · 29/07/2024 17:49

It is weird still to be into trick or treating at 12 and especially 14!! As others have said, it isn't their decision anyway.

Franjipanl8r · 29/07/2024 17:57

You’re assuming kids give two shits about a hot holiday or nice weather in general. My kids are much happier splashing around in the rain and running about in the woods with family and friends than flying abroad for some sunshine.