Kids want Halloween over AI holiday in turkey

[amyjane1989]

My two children age 14 and 12 would prefer Halloween in the uk over an all inclusive holiday in Turkey with onsite waterparks. Am I being unreasonable to be upset about this and think my children are brats?

I think one being autistic may have been useful to put in your first post tbh.

My ds finds holidays incredibly stressful and would always prefer to be at home.

My family and friends are shocked by their decision

Are they though? Or are they just nodding politely while you rant?

I wouldn't be shocked, and I can't see why anyone would be. I wouldn't want to go away at Christmas either. The whole rest of the year you can go away without missing anything good.

It's not their choice though. Missing one Halloween isn't the end of the world.

I‘m not certain which my teens would choose - but it would be a dilemma for sure.
It’s nog necessarily a “family holiday” in their eyes if it’s your boyfriend though.
Is he an active part of their lives?
I’m on my second marriage so no shade on the idea of blended marriage… but I know mine would raise an eyebrow if we had to miss what they wanted to do to accommodate when mum’s boyfriend could take time off.

My family and friends are shocked by their decision

What have your friends and family got to do with anything? Why have you told them? And why would they even be bothered??? If one of my friends told me her (teen) children didn't want to go on holiday with her I don't think I'd be "shocked" 😂

Both mine have long preferred Halloween to Christmas, when they were younger they loved the parties and dressing up, now they love the evening roaming the streets rather disreputabley but more or less harmlessly. I'm not saying they'd choose it over a holiday abroad but they would be very very sorry to miss it.

I don't understand why you're taking their comments seriously. They're a pair of kids who aren't thinking this through properly.

Wheh you say they aren't thinking it through 'properly' do you mean, 'they're not coming to the right conclusion'?

Because, if so, it's not because they're kids. I mean, I'm ancient, and thinking it through, I tend to agree with them.

Could you get Grandparnets to babysit and then you and partner go for a few days break at an adult hotel (whuch will be cheaper over half term)? Then everybodies happy.

Hmmmmm. I searched your name as I wondered if this was actually their stepdad or your boyfriend.

Not 3 months ago you were posting that you were in an emotionally abusive relationship with a man who had an affair and who was horrible to your kids - whom his own adult children no longer bothered with.

Maybe they prefer the make-believe horror of Hallowe’en rather than the day to day shit of being with a man who is nasty to them, ramped up by the close quarters of a holiday?

They’re not brats - they quite reasonably don’t want to be on holiday with this bullying arsehole. Did you take up the advice last time to speak to Women’s Aid?

Oh and it’s hard to leave because you’re in debt - so why the holiday anyway?

Bit harsh to call them brats just because you gave them a choice and they didn’t pick what you wanted them to pick?

We went to the US last October half term. My then 9 year old was desperate to do Halloween with her friends at home so we played with the dates so we were back in time. She had a great time. There are only a few hallowe'ens where it is a big thing so I was fine to arrange things so she could be with her friends.

Yikes @amyjane1989 the holiday money should be spent on therapy for your kids.

Seriously @amyjane1989 you want to leave this arsehole but cite your debt as part of what is stopping you. So how much of your debt would your contribution to this holiday pay off?

Use this absolute gift of the children not wanting to go, to say, “you know what? They don’t fancy it and really it’s crazy for me to spend out when I’m in debt - this is the start of me really focusing on clearing that.”

Halloween events end in year 6 here. (Year 7 upwards don’t trick or treat and scary movies are available to stream all year round) Did they do something exciting for Halloween last year ? My teens eat sweets while watching scary movies and answering the door to trick or treaters as they accept that it’s there’s turn to give rather than receive.

I voted YABU because of your wording - my children “prefer” isn’t bratty behaviour. Bratty would be insist/demand etc

I think that your kids are an age which commonly don’t enjoy family holidays but they shouldn’t be holding you hostage either. Do you have someone who could look after them while you and your partner pick a holiday that would suit you as a couple rather than them (the kids)?

I worry the 12 year old is going along with their older sibling's choice.

Can you compromise and have a halloween party before you leave???

Halloween has become massive here in the UK for teens, and mine prefer it over Christmas. I can't bear it tbh but it is not my life.

Genuinely, why are they brats? They have a stated preference. If you don't want to know what they want, then you shouldn't ask.

Is your partner their dad? My friends parents divorced when she was young and every family holiday was then with her mums partner and she hated it. Could that be at play?

Yeah agreed they don’t get o choose at their ages. However, I would HATE to go on a sunshine holiday that time of year. October I’m well over summer and so ready for autumn and winter, cool crisp weather and Halloween and bonfire night-my favourite time of year! So I’m with them in that?

Yikes! No wonder they don't want to go.

Ah, if this is the case then Turkey is the least of your worries.

Please don’t make this a big thing about it’s not being family time

You do realise you'd be taking your kids to a country in the middle of two major war zones?

Glad it’s not just me!

friends and family have fuck all to do with any decision I make about holidays or anything else for that matter.