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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Kids want Halloween over AI holiday in turkey

139 replies

amyjane1989 · 29/07/2024 13:34

My two children age 14 and 12 would prefer Halloween in the uk over an all inclusive holiday in Turkey with onsite waterparks. Am I being unreasonable to be upset about this and think my children are brats?

OP posts:
MrsTerryPratchett · 29/07/2024 14:55

I suspect this will the the start of a lot of excuses they make to not spend time with you and this partner. Start listening to them. They are prioritising something fun over something with him. You are choosing him over them.

CelesteCunningham · 29/07/2024 14:56

I don't think it's brattish at all to prefer staying at home to socialise with friends to a fancy holiday abroad. Quite the opposite really.

How much weight you apply to their wishes is a different conversation, but I don't think they're brats at all.

Nanny0gg · 29/07/2024 14:58

amyjane1989 · 29/07/2024 13:38

I said I am booking our holiday to Turkey in October half term as the temperature will be more manageable and less busy. We can get some sunshine whilst it’s cold back home and be a nice break between summer hols and Christmas. I have also told them it’s the only time my partner and I can get off together apart from Christmas due to new jobs, so it’s the only time we can go on holiday this year and they both said no we won’t be coming.

They said that, did they?

I'd be disabusing them of the notion that they're in charge!

Nanny0gg · 29/07/2024 15:00

TheYearOfSmallThings · 29/07/2024 14:11

My family and friends are shocked by their decision

Are they though? Or are they just nodding politely while you rant?

I wouldn't be shocked, and I can't see why anyone would be. I wouldn't want to go away at Christmas either. The whole rest of the year you can go away without missing anything good.

Christmas?

It's Halloween...

Nanny0gg · 29/07/2024 15:02

Testina · 29/07/2024 14:30

Hmmmmm. I searched your name as I wondered if this was actually their stepdad or your boyfriend.

Not 3 months ago you were posting that you were in an emotionally abusive relationship with a man who had an affair and who was horrible to your kids - whom his own adult children no longer bothered with.

Maybe they prefer the make-believe horror of Hallowe’en rather than the day to day shit of being with a man who is nasty to them, ramped up by the close quarters of a holiday?

They’re not brats - they quite reasonably don’t want to be on holiday with this bullying arsehole. Did you take up the advice last time to speak to Women’s Aid?

Oh and it’s hard to leave because you’re in debt - so why the holiday anyway?

I wish posters were honest.

What a waste of time

Trees6 · 29/07/2024 15:09

You’ve been less than transparent about your dodgy boyfriend on this tread, OP. Or so it seems.

The posters advising you to insist on the holiday may have had a different view if they’d been told the full tale.

Just put your kids first. Leave them with grandparents if you can’t possibly take them somewhere without your partner in October.

Catza · 29/07/2024 15:09

Brats would insist you jet off to an all inclusive holiday somewhere exotic. Staying home for Halloween is as far from brattish as you can get. At that age, they are less interested in water parks and more interested in hanging around with their friends. My kid thinks family holidays are absolutely the worst thing ever, even though she does eventually manage to have a good time.
This doesn't mean you can't book but please have some sympathy for your kids who did nothing wrong. They just expressed their preference. It's not brattish and it is pretty strange to be upset about it unless you actually believe they will barricade themselves at home.

Pharticle · 29/07/2024 15:10

amyjane1989 · 29/07/2024 13:48

Would be south Turkey near Cyprus so better time to go. North Turkey Izmir is colder. So sad that they choose Halloween over family time and their only holiday abroad. Expect it at 14 but not 12. My son is autistic at 12 years old so sees the world in one way and what he wants. Just know that as a child I loved holidays and loved my friends. My family and friends are shocked by their decision and they just said do I won’t go.

They weren’t being bratty anyway, but to learn that your son is autistic and you’re calling him a brat for seeing ‘the world in one way and what he wants’ is pretty unpleasant.

Testina · 29/07/2024 15:12

“They weren’t being bratty anyway, but to learn that your son is autistic and you’re calling him a brat for seeing ‘the world in one way and what he wants’ is pretty unpleasant.”

@Pharticle the shithead boyfriend thinks that his autism is just bad behaviour.

Pharticle · 29/07/2024 15:21

Testina · 29/07/2024 15:12

“They weren’t being bratty anyway, but to learn that your son is autistic and you’re calling him a brat for seeing ‘the world in one way and what he wants’ is pretty unpleasant.”

@Pharticle the shithead boyfriend thinks that his autism is just bad behaviour.

Oh that’s really upsetting :( Just saw your other comments as well- definitely not a mystery as to why they don’t want to go on holiday with this arsehole of a man!

scratchyfannyofcocklane · 29/07/2024 15:27

I very much doubt the water park will be warm enough at the end of October and I suspect most things will be closed by then anyway
as the season tends to finish mid October in Turkey

OhmygodDont · 29/07/2024 15:29

Surely brats would be demanding a holiday abroad not wanting to stay home.

Since you say partner I presume this is not their father. So they are asking to stay with dad rather than holiday with mum and her bf.

I note the date is also because it suits you and partner rather than say you and your children.

Maybe they are not so keen on him.

IpsyUpsyDaisyDoos · 29/07/2024 15:34

They aren't brats. They just prefer the idea of Halloween here over a Turkish holiday. Many people would, because AI in Turkey isn't what everyone has at the top of their list of things to do.

Personally, I love Halloween. I like the decorations, the spookiness, the dark. I'm not a massive fan of AI holidays and Turkey has never appealed. Doesn't mean other people can't enjoy it or would like it more. Or that people who prefer something else are bratty.

Depending on their ages, is there an option for them to stay home and do what they want, while you and your partner go and enjoy some time?

Boltonb · 29/07/2024 15:35

You need to reassess your life and your opinions.

You are calling your children brats (one of whom is ND) for not wanting to go on holiday with a man who:

•Is emotionally abusive (your words)
•constantly criticises your children, including accusing your ND son of simply being “badly behaved”
•has taken money from you for the house but refused to have you on the mortgage/deeds so you have no security
•had an affair with a woman at work, and has told you that he doesn’t trust you
•gets sulky and cross when you go to the office/go on a night out/leave the house.

Add to this that you’ve said you can’t afford to leave because of the debt that you’re in - why spend money on a holiday?

Advanced search, as suggested by a previous poster shows that you are not in a good relationship, and your children are suffering from living with your boyfriend

Heydiddlediddlethecatandthefiddle · 29/07/2024 15:35

I never ‘celebrated’ Halloween as a child so I can’t really understand their POV. I’d have always picked a holiday (and that was always a UK break too!) Do you go all out for Halloween normally? We don’t make a big deal out of it now with our young children. No trick or treating etc and all we do is pick a pumpkin and carve it really. Hoping they don’t see it as a big deal in the future!

carly2803 · 29/07/2024 15:35

honestly at that age it was so important being there for social events.

Im aware people pay thousands for holidays abroad etc, but kids don't appreciate them as much as we do

Kids want a bucket and spade and a beach - uk works for younger years!

listen to your kids, save your money!

OhmygodDont · 29/07/2024 15:36

Just seen all the missing missing info.

Proberly happy for a break from your arsehole boyfriend. Jesus get you kids away form such a knob head.

GingerPirate · 29/07/2024 15:51

Yes, YABU.
These brats dare to have preferences.
Now, my generation wouldn't be even able to peep anything against what "parents" decided.
80 percent of people of my generation are in MH
treatment, I'm long time NC with one surviving "parent".
45 yo, different country.

TheYearOfSmallThings · 29/07/2024 15:51

Nanny0gg · 29/07/2024 15:00

Christmas?

It's Halloween...

Show quote history

Yes, I wouldn't want to miss Halloween, and I wouldn't want to miss Christmas either. I never see the point going on holiday at a time when you know you are going to miss something fun.

IDontLoveTheWayYouLie · 29/07/2024 15:52

Just seen the extra information, I can see why they might not want to and it wouldn't them being bratty if that is true.

TheSnootiestFox · 29/07/2024 15:59

See, I'd just be delighted that I'd raised kids that have no qualms declining an all inclusive holiday in Turkey tbf, it would be my idea of hell but horses for courses!

I once had to leave a half term jolly to London slightly early to get mine back to Yorkshire for a Halloween Party and still missed it due to traffic, they were so disappointed and I felt guilty for ages afterwards. It is a big thing at their age.

Especially when the option is a holiday miles from home with some dodgy bloke their mother has made them live with. I'm with your kids on this one!

Loloj · 29/07/2024 16:03

Why have you given them a choice?

DoubleWhammyWin · 29/07/2024 16:03

Mine would love a family holiday. I also would not give them a choice.

When I first read your post, I wondered if it was about your partner. And then it was confirmed that there were issues…

ButWhatAboutTheBees · 29/07/2024 16:14

Maybe they don't want to go on a holiday with someone who calls them a brat because they dare to have a different opinion?

Beth216 · 29/07/2024 16:17

You can't decide what your kids would like based on what you liked as a child, they're not brats, they are their own people. One of then has ASD as well FGS, do you know anything about kids with ASD or are you only interested in the apparently awful boyfriend? How awful that you would call them brats just because they don't want the same as you.