Have you ever dropped a friend?

[asruralasitgets]

And did it make your life better or have no impact.

Just dropped one of my best friends. Long story but I’ve put up with years of shit. I’m feeling down about it but I’m hoping it’s for the best in the long run.

Edited: did they ever try to make good? Did you ever give them the reason why?

Yes a friend I knew from childhood till our twenties. She moved to NZ after uni, but used to visit her family here every few years and insisted we should meet up. If i refused. she'd get sarcastic and rude.

It took me years, YEARS!! to realise that she was still that rude 11 year old whenever she didn't get her way.

We lead very different lives and had little in common. And I no longer give fucks about hurting someone who doesn't care about my feelings.

I blocked her on FB and WhatsApp. That was a few years ago. No regrets!!

Yes. Both have good hearts but one is exhausting, gossips non stop about her interactions or other people (“you know her, she was xyz 😴 🙄)
and the other is weirdly competitive, has no filter and can be really rude. Unburdened and peaceful without it all.

A few - one because I realised that they made me feel like an option rather than a priority . Always very busy , always apparently in demand - was also very guarded and didn't like to let you too close yet wanted to know everything about you . Realised after that she was a very jealous, insecure person who was impossible to be friends with unless you accepted her definition of friendship .

A second because she was plain rude and selfish . Could talk for hours about herself and her life and expected advice and answers - yet never asked a question about my life !

A few who I realised I had little in common with .

I used to envy the people who had big friendship groups but now I realise most of them don't even like each other and true friendship is much rarer .

She has in the past and I do thankfully have other friends.

But we have history and sometimes that makes it harder.

Exactly, I feel the same. I distanced myself when I realised I was essentially her personal therapist, and being used. She was selfish, and many others had the same issue unfortunately.

Yes college friend of 20 years,no regrets at all.

Yes I did. Friend of nearly 40 years. We were very different and had completely opposite outlooks on life. My friend was very needy, whereas I'm not. She was focused on money, i couldn't give shit, plus lots more. It all just got a bit too much, so I had to move on for my MH. No regrets here, put myself first for once.

No I haven't, because I've never been in a position where I would allow myself to be treated like that long term. I'm a good friend and would give someone a by-ball once or twice (depending on the circumstances), but if someone treated me very badly I'd have no issue in telling them to fuck off and never contact me again.

Yes.
And i didn't give a reason why because it was past that point. If I had thought it useful to give a reason why, then I wouldn't have dropped the friendship.
I knew if I gave a reason why it would just have looked like it was up for discussion, and one of the big issues with this friend was lack of respect for boundaries.
I'd been friends with her for 10 years so it was hard but I haven't spoken to her for 4 years now and yes my life is better for it.
She took up so much of my mental energy and absolutely wouldn't respect my boundaries. It was like a weight was lifted off me when I finally blocked her on all channels.

Yes. One. She was a newer friend met thru my 4 y.o DD. She was huge huge support to me during my divorce. So kind so compassionate so “there” for me. She goes on to reveal she is having an affair which is exactly why I was getting divorced which I actually overlooked thinking she was unhappy and would be leaving her marriage only to be told by her…oh I plan on going on like this for 18 yrs until her dd graduates from school. Then I was suspicious of and then confirmed by planting a false story she was talking with and befriending exDh. And she was. Inviting him to dinner etc all under the guise of supporting our DDs friendship. Another wise friend said…how many mutual friends have ended up on your exDH side?…none. There’s your answer drop her she isn’t trustworthy. She did reach out by phone but I didn’t take or return her calls. I could never trust someone violating my privacy by telling life details to my very abusive ex husband. Such a knife in the back. Never missed her. He did tho. He missed the information she was giving him

I have. Give yourself time to grieve. Ending a good friendship is like ending a relationship

Yes after many years of forgiveness….should have done it years ago! Feel free now.

Yes, someone who was a good friend but who started wanting to spend every spare minute with me and gradually turned into a stalker. I was in my teens and moved with my parents without telling her where I was going. Within days she turned up - still don't know how she found out the new address. At that point I was so angry I think I was finally able to get through to her that I was done with her; I told her to get out and miraculously she left me alone after that. Looking back now it makes me sad because we started out as such good friends and had some great fun together, but I will never forget how I felt when she turned up at the new place.

Yes, a few times and no regrets.

One actually got back in touch after a few years. I met them for dinner, they were on the phone when I turned up on time and kept me waiting while they finished their conversation for at least ten minutes. Then they spent the entire evening talking about themselves and their current dilemma. Didn't once ask me anything about me. They were very suspicious when I asked questions to be polite so it wasn't even really a conversation. I just went along with it because I was kind of fascinated. The next day they messaged and asked me for a favour, then several more favours over the next few weeks. I didn't confront them, I just didn't help with the favours and they eventually got the hint/decided I wasn't useful to them. I wasn't hurt this time, I actually found it quite entertaining and it made me realise I was right the first time and to trust my judgement. The other people have been for similar reasons, self involved, only talk about themselves.

yes, two - sometimes you have to - one I’d known since late teens,
so 20 odd years and don’t miss her or her bullying at all

the other one, friends for 12 years, made a comment to a mutual friend
which then came back to me - I was incensed - in that one snide comment
was all her jealousy, snobbery, mean spiritedness leaving me no choice really -

Yep I was fed up of being an emotional dumping ground for her. Told her I wanted some space for a bit because of various reasons, she was a Dick about it which gave me a wonderful, guilt-free way to step away entirely. Life is a lot lighter.

Not arsed what you read. I'd had a wine and felt like a cry so I wrote it for me not you

Yes

sometimes you grow apart or grow up

Yes several times

I absolutely did drop a friend. One who had been a bully to me for years - but was full of “I love you” and “bestie” talk. She was, looking back, mean to me.
the last straw for me was when she gave my phone number to an old college friend of ours who was going to jail for being a PEDOPHILE, and told me he was In love with me and maybe I could talk to him and keep his spirits up while he was in prison.
she made excuses for a pedophile.
when said “he’s a pedo,” she said “no, it was just chile pornography.” And she has a child.

I asked her for an apology and asked her never to give my number out again. Then I realized that just wasn’t enough and I blocked her with no further explanation.

I’m so much happier without her constant me, me, me, Drama. She needed the center of attention, and needed me to be there so she could cut me down. Nope ! Wish it hadn’t taken so long, but I’m so glad I finally just cut her out of my life. I feel sorry for her poor child. :(

I dropped my best friend after finding out that she had been bad-mouthing not only me and my dp but also my two dc's.

I got an anonymous email to my work email from someone listing basically all the private things I'd told her and the fact that she'd then a) shared lots of sensitive private things with the anonymous emailer and b) taken the piss out of me and my physical failings; my dp's mental health and, worst of all, been really vile about my children.

I was devastated but the phone call I made telling her that I didn't want any more to do with her and why was horrible because it was clear from her response that what I'd been told was all true.

The anonymous emailer (as was, I was able to work out who it was through a couple of things in the message) did me a huge favour.

If I'm being honest I was upset about it for a year. But my children were at least not spending time with someone who thought so little of them and actually seemed to despise them. So it was worth it in the end.

A few times. He was desperate for a relationship with me despite having a girlfriend. He tried to convince me they weren't together. The way they talked on the phone suggested otherwise. He (and his friend who was just awful) blamed me for his friend getting sectioned. All I did was refuse to meet him (his friend) because he sent me hundreds of text messages. His time keeping was rubbish and he made us miss an event because he relied on his sat nav instead of his brain

And then there was the one who called me a shit friend because I didn't want to talk all the time

Yes several times, when I have been taking advantage of, never dramatically, just let things fizzle out, stopped communicating, too busy to meet up etc, no regrets about any of the “friends” I have let go, as they weren’t really friends to begin with, but you live and learn.

Yes, after I realised she was essentially coercively controlling me with her emotional reactions to control what I said and did. It was a huge relief to finally let go of the ‘friendship’.

Then dropped another developing friendship with someone who was showing the same personality traits.

One was a lady I met at work-me working her a customer

I do hair on the side and she asked if I'd do hers

She would come round,sit on my sofa for hours,not listening to a word I said,just slagging people off-i was to just sit and nod in the right places (I know she slagged me off-id done nothing to deserve it)

The last straw was when she showed me up in front of my darling mil and I got so angry,I got her out and don't miss her

Another friend has been downgraded-im not ghosting her as such,but I'm not arranging to meet up with her,just keeping it to messaging

I'm a private person,I don't tell anyone my business unless I want them to know

It was a few years ago and I was going through a tough time in my relationship with dp-his dd was causing trouble for us and almost broke us up

She was the only person (apart from my son) who knew what was going on

She took it upon herself to tell everyone,our colleagues,friends,people I've never met and her mum all the juicy gossip as it unfolded with the words 'don't let on I've told you!'

I didn't have a clue until a good friend/my manager mentioned something I'd told my friend and he told me she'd been flapping her mouth for months

Still fuming but have half ghosted-unless I see her in the street,I will never see her in the flesh again and I tell her nothing,even though she still tried to dig for gossip