Have you ever dropped a friend?

[asruralasitgets]

And did it make your life better or have no impact.

Just dropped one of my best friends. Long story but I’ve put up with years of shit. I’m feeling down about it but I’m hoping it’s for the best in the long run.

Edited: did they ever try to make good? Did you ever give them the reason why?

Yes. Someone from uni who I realised after eight years of friendship was interfering in my relationships, didn't have my best interests at heart and was only happy when I was down because of boyfriend or work problems. It was a relief to be honest.

Ugh. Intolerable to be a sounding board for somebody who keeps making excuses for an asshole, OP.

I also think a turning point for me was I was suppose to go with her to an event, she couldn’t go so I invited a newer friend

It was in a different city and the last train got cancelled so we had to get a taxi. As we got in the taxi I had this feeling of dread that the newer friend would be so angry at me for the train being cancelled and having to split a large taxi bill - because the friend I dropped would have made the journey back so horrible, would have been in a mood, snappy, clearly blaming me.

When it didn’t bother my new friend in the slightest because she weirdly didn’t blame me for things outside of my control - it was a lightbulb moment. Like finally being in a healthy relationship after being so used to having a toxic one and thinking it’s normal.

Yes, because I realised that she was a frenemy. Intensely competitive, always jealous of me and my success. Who needs that??

Yes, she doesn't want to vaccinate her children and doesn't 'believe' in toothpaste 'because Fluoride is a chemical'. Thats a step too fucking far into crazy land for me. No more play dates / proper friendship but I'll make friendly small talk if I see her at toddler group.

3: I asked for advice on here and was told I wasn’t being unreasonable. Would have done it regardless.

One was because we drifted apart and I was unhappy at the thought of seeing her again and wanted an excuse to not. I sent her a message very polite, blocked her on all platforms and haven’t heard a word since.

Another was because all she wanted to talk about was her relationship with an ex from college and couldn’t care less if her Dh overheard or anything about my life.

A third was because she very nearly got my DH in a lot of trouble-could have been sacked-because she had an issue with her neighbour and used my DH’s name to put the frighteners on him. My DH knew nothing about it and was confronted by his superior, totally blindsided. Absolutely outrageous, immediately dropped. She had chased me hard to be her friend, I was quite flattered, but that was disgusting.

Yes, after she stole from my house on yet another visit where we had been kind enough to accommodate her and her family. Could never trust her after that, especially as she wanted to come and stay on a day that I would have to go to work.
The friendship was mostly all about her anyway and how hard done by she was, and how much she openly envied my house. Joked about it but the envy was real.

Yes, ended a friendship, mainly because she was way too intense. She was also incredibly patronising and saw everyone as some sort of improvement project, usually when they were perfectly happy and a lot more well-balanced than her. She also made a massive drama out of other people’s problems/misfortunes - she was the sort of person who, if (for example) you had a cancer scare, would have been secretly disappointed when you got the all clear because she’d been looking forward to playing the selfless caring heroine. I had a nasty experience during our friendship, but one which I was able to put behind me and move on from, but she constantly kept telling me that she knew better than I did what was good for me and that I must need counselling etc.

She reacted badly and in particular was angry because once I’d said my piece I wasn’t prepared to discuss things any further, and she said I was denying her ‘closure’. I blocked her.

About three years later I had a (totally routine, keyhole, non-serious, only in hospital for 36 hours) operation and I received a card from her with a disproportionately dramatic message about how even though I’d ditched her she still cared. No idea how she even knew I was in hospital - I’d almost forgotten she existed. I shrugged and put the card in the bin.

Yes, when I eventually realised her jealousy of me was causing her to put me down / criticise me / laugh at me at every opportunity. Always “just a joke”. But clearly came from a painful place, and I’m sorry she was unhappy. But none of it was my fault.
It took me far too long to see what she was doing. She did try to speak to me at a mutual friend’s party, once she connected the dots and realised I hadn’t been in touch for a while. I told her it was neither the time nor the place. Then I blocked her. A decent person would not have behaved that way in the first place, so the friendship was beyond salvaging and I had no inclination to try.

@asruralasitgets , you know the answer. Does she add anything to your life ? Move on and find a friendship that’s a two way thing. Life is too short .

I got dropped by a good (not best) friend during covid by her returning a birthday gift with a note basically saying because I didn’t pay enough attention to her during covid our friendship was over… and she was sure I had other friends to replace her. what she didn’t/doesn’t know was I was going though diagnosis for a lifelong condition during that time and couldn’t take on anyone else’s issues, and I didn’t think it fair to overburden others with my personal issues. Getting the note and returned gift was emotionally destroying, I wish she hadn’t. I wish she had kept the little gift and just never bothered to contact me again.

Yes a few

One stole off me

One didn't pay me back

Yes I dropped lots after divorce.
Some I realised were just bullies and I've never looked back. So so pleased to be away from them.

I wouldn't say dropped but friendships do sometimes run their course. I had a friend who I had been very supportive of when she was dealing with problems, helped her out looking after her dd, provided a shoulder to cry on etc. Turns out she wasn't the sort of friend to reciprocate and couldn't even be bothered to send a message to check I was ok when going through tough times of my own. I saw her for who she really was and decided she wasn't really for me anymore and just drifted away from her. She pops up every now and again when she wants something.

2 in my entire life.
One of them literally same monologue about her life for decades.
Other was a nasty drunk who also used to put shite comments on Facebook. She popped up in my life a few years later thanks to my then teen daughter but managed to drop her again.

Yes and I have no regrets.

It feels great to be free from them both
.
One was taking over and trying to control my life - I could barely make my own decisions or manage my own time without them telling me how I should do it.

The other was actually also a family member which has made it more tricky, but I'm still happy they're no longer part of my life.

One friend who was quite high maintenance, same rounds of problems year after year, with no appreciation that if you do the same shit, you get the same results.
Stopped the car and asked her to get out, Never heard of or seen since.
Probably about 12 years ago now, and I'd probably known her about that length of time when it happened.
Think of her from time to time, hope that she's OK, but generally very freeing.

im avoiding a neighbour,not lived here long she completely comes over the road everytime i come in the car/am in my front garden,when i walk my dog she appears and fetches her dog, asks me to go round for drinks,must be early and have to stay till very late/they brag about everything they have bought from the car to the cost of a tin of paint,they both work, some days she has to trvel for work texts me night before saying she has left me her door ket let the dog in their back garden at dinner time, so last few times i have been out had to come back specially to let dog out,they have fake grass it wont wee on it, i was fuming,so said im not letting dog out again,she complained it wasnt fair on her dog,she texts a lot about the neighbours , so im guessing i will be on the slagging off list now,just think of your self lose a friend if its not working for you

Yes after she continually sided with her awful awful awful boyfriend. He's a totally useless cheater, lazy, sponging arsewipe who would hit on me when she left the room. I came to her with proof he was cheating and she told me I was jealous of their love 🙄😂 There was a lot of other stuff as well as we'd been friends since we were teenagers, but that's what broke it in the end. All of our friends had fallen out with her at least once by this point, I was the last holdout.

They're still together, he's still useless, probably still trying to get his leg over anything that moves. I bear no ill will towards her, but my life is better without her (and by proxy, him) in it.

Couldn't finish your post because it was incomprehensible. Sorry.

Yes, but never in a dramatic way - more just privately deciding to downgrade the friendship. I have also been dropped by a friend who, in retrospect, had dropped all her previous friends every time she made a fresh start. It still came as a surprise, which reflects poorly on my judgement!

Yes. I met someone who moved in same social circles and we got on well so our friendship evolved.

It was in lockdown I started noticing a few things that annoyed me about her. It came to a head on a girls weekend away with a group of us which she monopolised and made it all about her. We had words on the train home and haven’t spoken since.

After that she bumped into my twatty ex a few times and posted selfies hanging round his neck smirking at the camera. I couldn’t care less about the pair of them but I know it was a deliberate FU.

I crossed paths with her a few months ago and she tried to say hello - I just walked past her. I don’t miss her at all - I realised how much negativity she created.

I dropped a friend because she was so unreliable. She asked if we could try again, I agreed, but her behaviour didn't change, she was actually worse. I dropped her again. I often think about her, hoping that she's ok.

Well done!

Yes I have and it hurt a lot at first but my life is better now. If you feel hurt, just remember why you made the decision.