To want my adult niece and nephew to call my Aunty Emma?

[egaley]

AIBU? Am I old fashioned?

I have an adult nephew and niece (28 and 26). They have always called me Aunty Emma.

We were having a big family meal and my cheeky nephew called me just “Emma” when he wanted to say something. I corrected him and asked him why he called me Emma, my name is Aunty Emma!

Dsis and I haven't used the titles for our aunts and uncles since we were teenagers. I find it weird to do it amongst adults...unnecessarily formal. One aunt didn't ever want to be called that, so she was always just known by her first name anyway, even when we were tiny.

My nephew calls me by my name and has done for years - probably since he was around 7 or 8. Fine by me. My dd does the same with my dsis. However, she does use titles with her dad's side of the family and with his friends, because he is from a culture where it is definitely expected. She has always instinctively understood this difference and never seemed to find it confusing.

Aw I think it's nice to be called Auntie, I refer to my one remaining Auntie as Auntie Pamela (not real name) and I'm 46!

Some communities, all females are Auntie and I think it's lovely.

I'm with you OP but I wouldn't try to force it on anyone who didn't want to cal me Auntie Though.

Blimey. My niece has always called me by my given name.

This makes sense. I was reading through so confused about the number of people saying it's a cultural thing. I'm white British and until this thread it had never occurred to me I should have dropped the aunt and uncle once an adult, I'm amazed that so many people disagree. I don't think it's a cultural thing as in my northern town it is normal to say aunt and uncle when talking to or about family. A class thing makes more sense, especially given the tone of some of the posts.

It feels strange but my nephew, 9 years younger than me, still calls me auntie. I am in my mid 70s.

Oh yes, I forgot about all my mum's female friends being called Auntie, too! I wonder if it's a class or Northern thing ?

My kids are 10 and 12, they don't call my sister Aunty, just her fist name shortened. I've just sent my uncle a card, written inside his first name, no Dear uncle. I think it's a bit old fashioned now tbh.

When I was small I called neighbours I knew well auntie or uncle. But only until I was 14 or so!

Don't mock miss marple

I told my nieces and nephews that once they got to 18 then if they wanted to drop the "aunt" and just call me by my name that was fine with me....none of them have and I'm still called "auntie Scar". I did insist though that their DC were never, under any circumstances, to call me "Great Aunt Scar" though. 😆

@Snorrrring YES!!! It's exactly that feeling! It's like one day waking up and realising that your partner's real name was actually something different and now that's what you have to call them, it's so bloody stupid but this is how I would feel 😂

Don’t be cringe OP

I suppose it is old-fashioned. It makes me sad though - I liked being an Aunty. 😢

Don't know how old you are but I'm 70 and in my family I did still call my aunts and uncles that but my older sister didn't

And my nieces and nephews stopped when they hit 21. I was quite happy with that

Just like when children move on from mummy and daddy to mum and dad

Yep, it's a class thing. Ordinary people like aunt or auntie. Snobs don't. And mumsnet is filled with snobs.

I don't think its a "should" or "shouldn't" thing...

@egaley could you compromise and ask that she still call you Aunty in cards? Explain that (I'm assuming) your relationship to them as your aunt is really important to you

Bit weird to insist they call you aunty tho.

I don't think you are unreasonable .
I think everyone has the right to be addressed in the way they prefer.

I have a lot of nieces and nephews, including some that are only about ten years younger than I am and they (and their children) all call me auntie. It would be considered very rude for them to call me just by my first name.

"...but most people drop the aunt bit when they grow up."

Judging from the replies here you seem to be mistaken. The replies seem to be split about equally, so saying that "most people" do that doesn't seem to be the case.

I think, within families, both sides have to be happy with what people are called. To outsiders you can be more dictatorial but with close relations it has to be negotiated.

My children always called my sister by her actual forename, not 'aunty' (and I'm pretty traditional). It didn't bother anyone.

I think if you check your birth certificate you will find your name is Emma.

It used to be that every adult friend of your parents was given the Aunt or Uncle title, but thankfully that went the way of using vim to clean the bath. Titles for parents and grandparents I am happy with, but unless the aunt or uncle is over 70, then first names are perfectly ok, especially for adult nephews and nieces.

Not the point of the thread - but is it aunty with a ‘Y’ or auntie with ‘IE’?

I sign off as “aunty” Grey, but my nieces write “auntie” Grey

Either is fine.

I’m 53, and I wouldn’t dream of calling my elders anything other than aunty & uncle, but I’m from an ethnic background which requires young’uns to show respect to their elders, even if you’re not directly related.

Really?! That's fascinating. Just when I think MN had given me some understanding of class in Britain, then along comes another signifier I was utterly clueless about.