To be so indecisive about birth?

[forgotthewords]

I’m going round in circles and need to decide so I can start to prep.

I’m due to give birth in one of the busiest months of the year. I am low risk at the moment. Everyone I know of who has had a baby in the last 2 years at my hospital has not had a fantastic experience, apart from one person who had a Caesarean due to breech position. The others have mainly experienced failed inductions, poor postpartum care, and traumatic births to the point of needing debriefs and in some cases physiotherapy.

I understand that straightforward births can and do happen, but statistics say that’s less than 40% of the time for a first time mum. A larger proportion than this either have assisted deliveries, or inductions that are lengthy, painful and fail resulting in EMCS. A remaining smaller percentage elect for a section.

I am wondering about maternal request section and how that might be for me. Sections carry risk for future pregnancy, and a longer recovery time. I imagine they must be very painful afterwards. Planning one seems like the 2nd most desirable option after a vaginal delivery though? Predictability to an extent, avoids the risk of an emergency situation. To me it removes layers of ‘unknown’. I could deal with the unknown better if I trusted maternity care in this country more but the fact is I just don’t, not after reading the reports and knowing it’s a nationwide crisis. It seems like a coin flip situation anyway where you’re actually relatively likely to need an emergency section, which seems the worst of all worlds.

I have been recommended to look into hypnobirthing. I have looked, and may consider a course but ultimately I feel like a positive vaginal birth comes down to luck and chance and a lot of factors that are unknown until you’re actually having the baby.

Posting I suppose to see others’ birth experiences, ideally recently, so I can inform myself slightly more.

*choice
*never

The obstetrician who delivered both my DDs didn’t agree with birth plans. She said the only plan was to deliver the babies while keeping both of us safe. I attended ante natal yoga for the duration of my pregnancy with DD1 - it was amazing for breathing advice and focus etc and I also did a hypno birthing course in my third trimester. For pain control I hired a TENS machine. I was induced by an amazing acupuncturist. I was in labour for twelve hours … but it was all totally manageable. My Obs found meconium when she broke my waters and she recommended a c section. I agreed. And I had an elective c section for my second DD. The best laid plans just don’t always work out …

I had a c section, it was great. I was up same day. Excellent care at the John Radcliffe in Oxford. My son was in nicu so to be fair my mind was on him but I don't recall being in pain. Failed induction, sat around waiting for 2 days for something to happen but no joy.

There was a lady having an induction the same time as me...2/3 days into her journey she was rough, she had a very traumatic experience and I wouldn't have wanted that 3 days of labour she was begging for a c section.

I was bobbing about no pain, just waiting...1.5 hours later there he was. No pain. When I compare our journeys mine was easier.

Equally I have friends who had 45 minute births and were home that night who would say theirs was easier.

Its a lottery but trust in the system and take the advice of the Dr not mumsnet.

I had a maternal choice c section and it was the best choice I ever made. I didn't find the recovery hard at all, and I'm definitely not some super fit person who bounced back effortlessly. I made the choice because I was phobic of natural birth, partly fuelled by the fact that I happen to actually not know anyone who had a natural birth without complications.

I was up and walking as soon as my legs could hold me up (six hours post-op). I never took anything stronger than paracetamol and ibuprofen (not because I was denied it, but because I didn't need it). I went home 36 hours post-op. I was quite stiff and sore for the first three days, but still managing to climb stairs and lift my legs over the side of the bath to shower. The worst pain I had was trapped wind, but that was only for a few days and after that I was pain free as long as I kept up on my paracetamol/ibuprofen schedule.

Within a week I was able to do 1-2 mile loops of our village with the pram. Two weeks after birth, I was off painkillers entirely and taking the pram on the train alone to brunch with friends.

I did an NCT course, it informed me of all options available including different medications and their side effects. They also explained why induced births feel different (because your body doesn't produce the same hormones that act as a natural painkiller) etc. we discussed the importance of having a birth plan in place and making sure your birth partner knows what's in it so they can fight your corner when you're busy...! I'd highly recommend it. It really doesn't matter what anyone else thinks as everyone has different ideas of the ideal birth.

I was induced multiple times. Quite enjoyed it; pessary first so 12hr of just chilling and reading, then needed a drip which started everything off. Vaginal delivery after induction and recovery was easy. Used gas and pethidine. (Wonderful stuff 😃)

Just go in educated but with no "set" plan and go with the flow. As long as baby is healthy- that's all that matters.

As other pp have said- this idea of a birth plan is a myth.

I had a birth where labour stalled and I ended up being induced and then had an episiotomy, and then was induced the second time. Both births were fine. The induction went really well, and I was surprised to learn later that lots of people have problems with it. I recovered from both quickly, whereas a friend who had a C-section had an awful recovery. I would never want a C-section.

I’ve had two emergency c sections (one awake and one under general anaesthetic).

I would want a vaginal birth where possible. I even went for a VBAC second time but the choice was out of my hands

If I were to have a second baby then I'd choose a c-section. Vaginal birth is probably the best if it goes well but like you say there's really no way of knowing until it's happening. I had a very long labour as baby got stuck. Had an episiotomy in the end which was very painful and ended up getting infected. I definitely wasn't up and about much afterwards so can't imagine a c-section been worse really.

Am amazed by people saying vaginal birth better than C-section. I had a rather traumatic vaginal birth for first that ended in forceps and a not particularly well functioning pelvic floor and piles (didn't know what they were before birth). Has taken literally years to recover as well as a haemorrhiidectomy. Second was planned C-section. Was a dream in comparison. Tiny scar. No more trauma. Happy mum and happy baby. Never met anyone who has regretted a planned C-section.

My waters started to trickle at 41 weeks at around 1am on the Sunday, was induced at about 10am on Monday as nothing was happening, was very slow going and was only 2cm dilated at around 8pm so was sent for an EMCS. Spent around an hour trying to get the needle in my back and me and baby were both in distress. I was begging them to put me under general. Baby was born at 10pm Monday night, around 44 hours I think after waters first started. Was the absolute worse experience of my life and still not over the trauma now. Would absolutely love to try for a second baby and try for a VBAC, but the experience has completed traumatised me and I just don’t think I can risk another section again. I think it would destroy me mentally if it was to happen again. I have had 2 friends who both had a EMCS and elective for their 2nd, and they have both said the 2nd time was brilliant and I would feel differently if it did happen to me.

I’ve had 2 c sections. No problems with either and recovered pretty quick. One technically an emergency but not in labour (waters went breech) and one elective but his lie had become a bit unstable so doubt I’d have been able to change my mind.
I did midwifery before nursing and am really aware I’ve probably limited my family size with the c sections - would an independent midwife be in your reach financially? Even if you still went for a hospital birth?

When I wrote my birth plan for my eldest - the risk of induction was high as I had gestational diabestes and I basically put that I’d try induction - but I wasn’t going to piss about for days exhausting myself - low threshold for c section and that I’d have an epidural before they put the hormone drip up thank you very much. That’s not advice just personal opinion but IMO - it’s good to think of what you will and won’t be prepared to do so that your partner can advocate for you when your tired and agreeing cause you’re too tired or out of it to argue.

Avoid avoid avoid any and all inductions and C sections if you and baby are healthy. Say no to interventions ESPECIALLY if they are unnecessary. Your body knows how to have your baby. Follow kemibirthjoyjohnson on instagram

Exactly this. My babies are now fully grown, but I clearly remember saying at one of the classes that the baby was going to get here one way or the other, but then what?
Our health visitors then started asking new mums to come and chat to the pregnant mums about how we coped once home.

as others have said, I would choose a spontaneous vaginal birth first, followed by elective c section then induction.

I was induced and ended up with forceps, it was exactly the horror story you hear about (I listened to the doctors and dismissed the horror stories as scaremongering and really regret it). I’ve been left with lifelong consequences having previously been very fit and healthy. All the women in my nct class who had c sections were absolutely fine and recovered much much more quickly than I did. I really regret not refusing induction or opting for an elective c section.

I would have an elective c section if I had another since my body has been too damaged to have another vaginal birth, but if i could start again I’d opt for a spontaneous vaginal birth if possible.

Buy a hyponobirthing book (or get one from a library). Refuse unnecessary inductions and interventions, stay active and at home as long as you can in labour. Consider home birth. Opting for a c sec to avoid a c sec is fairly bonkers when the vast majority of women can have normal vaginal deliveries (if we weren’t so keen on medicalising everything).

OP, I would stop reading statistics on all this as you will drive yourself mad.

I don't think failed inductions are anything to do with what hospital you are in, but how each person's body responds. I was induced and baby was out 12 hours later and I only had pethidine.

I'd just say not to be scared of birth, I didn't do any hypnobirth training or research but naturally hypnobirthed my way through labour as a song kept playing over and over in my head which distracted me.

Just to put the flip side of the coin I was induced for my second and it was fine. Less than 7 hours end to end, gas and air only. I vomited all the way through my first labour so was very grateful I did not have to go through that second time around! Everyone’s experiences are different which makes these threads tricky I think

Yep. It will probably be decided for you in the end OP.

Or, listen to the doctors who are experts in balancing risk and not some random 'expert' on Instagram.

I’ve had three babies. I’d never agree to an induction. I’ve had three spontaneous labours but go over every time. Each time, I’ve refused induction and said I would agree to a c-section if it came to it.

Personally I would 100% try for a vaginal birth if I could. I had multiple complications that required a planned c-section and the recovery was horrific. They op itself wasn't terrible but I lost a lot of blood (they suspected this would happen due to my complications). The people in the room all went out of their way to put me at ease and I will never forget their kindness.

You must remember that a C is major surgery - I felt like I'd been hit by a bus for 10 days before I turned a corner. I won't go into detail but I will always, always, always say to try to do it the way it's meant to happen before you opt for elective surgery. If you end up there because that's the way it goes then so be it.

I think it’s a mistake is thinking there is an option that should lead to a “positive” birth experience. It will probably be horrible but you just have to get through it (especially if first baby). I think it’s a mistake to tell women they can engineer and control a positive experience with hynobirthing, birthing plans and other woo - just like it’s a mistake to tell women breastfeeding “should be painless” when it’s quite clearly not at first. We shd just be honest it’s going to be unpleasant and how it goes is probably not in your control. I would love to see a modern medical miracle to improve women’s birth experiences but don’t hold my breath that it will happen in my lifetime.

My advice would be to go for elected section. It’s safer for the baby and that’s the main thing. There are so many (too many) examples of natural births going wrong and babies having life long consequences. Yes, your recovery time is longer but you can do that, once you have a healthy baby. My sister had 1 vaginal birth which was awful, left her in such bad state and the hospital told her she’s not allowed to give birth naturally again. And it was their fault entirely. She had 2 elected sections afterwards and they were super simple. You can’t even see her scar- it’s so faint and under the knickers line. She said she wishes she never had natural birth. I had two natural births and it was all ok, but I was a rare example in my friends group of no complications. I will be advising my daughter to have the elected section when the time comes. Wishing you all the luck.

I was induced at my request. My sil baby born sleeping as left too long so as dd my only chance I wanted her out safe. Induction was quick. From what I hear from my friends they all were quick if induced. Maybe Abit too quick but felt like my body knew what to do. I have had two friends who had c sections who still struggled with the after effects 8 years later...loss of sensation and pain and open sore. I was over the birth by the next day. What I do if I had an other. I don't know. Both v birth and c section have positive and negative bits. Should point out birth very rarely follows plans. My plan was me being alive and dd to be alive.