Pulled up for “picking on someone at work”.

[ThunderRoadRunner]

I’ve been on holiday for a few weeks, and will be going back to work on Monday. I’m dreading it.

For the last couple of days before I went on holiday I lost it at work. In all my working days, which amounts to a few decades, I’ve never lost my temper.

It centred around a number of new-ish people we have in our dept. They’ve been there about 6 months. They literally do no work, do not hand over any completed work and even just leave things in the sink for other people to wash up after them etc.

I and another colleague have assertively asked them about the handovers, ask them to clean up their mess, and point out that work has not been done, which means I and a few others end up doing it. This is done professionally. However, I came in a couple of days before I went on vacation and was told there were formal complaints about “being picked on”.

I just lost it.

WIBU to expect colleagues to do their share? After all, it’s the rest of us that end up picking up the slack.

Also, I really want to go back to work with a strategy that involves me not picking up the slack for others on top of my own stressful job. Any tips?

There is never a good reason for "losing it" at work, where is your professionalism?

Are you serious 1mabon !!! You clearly work either alone or in cloud cuckoo land!! People as a rule don't "lose it" without extreme provocation. Its nice you've never encountered that but I actually finally retired from my job before I was sacked as I was truly in danger of punching a very vile horrible colleague, with whom I had "lost it" on more than one occasion. She was so vile even line managers were afraid of her. I did manage to instigate a formal complaint against her to those very much further up the ladder before I left though, which HAD to be followed up. She left the job after that, but I'd had enough by then.

OP, I'd document EVERYTHING you know about these lazy arses, and ALWAYS put everything in writing, e.g instructions to them about how to do things, 'polite reminders' of overdue work, EVERYTHING... then you have proof you've tried to help but they're not engaging. I sympathise... been there !!!!

I don't understand why you would be doing their washing up or clearing up after them, just leave it. You don't have a parent or housemate relationship with them, leave it to the cleaner. If the cleaner wants to complain or it goes around in a passive aggressive email then let them.

As an employer I would see it as a huge negative, it looks like you're finding excuses to avoid work and I'm not paying you to do the office's washing up.

Not every workplace has a cleaner you know, and those which do sometimes have a limit on what tasks they carry out e.g. empty bins, vacuum floor, wipe over desks, not all do the washing up & cleaning the kitchen.

And maybe, just maybe, the OP feels sick having to use a kitchen covered in other people's rotting stinking waste & cups growing mould - yes, I have worked in places where cups got left & grow a good inch or so of greenish mould on top of the dregs left by the previous user.

One of the things about your first job is that you don't just learn the job, you learn about how to operate in the workplace.

If these colleagues have just left school, they will have no clue whatsoever about how to behave at work.

That's where a proper induction process is absolutely essential and your managaement is shit for not having one.

Best thing you could do is offer to draw up an induction program with instructions on how to do stuff, what the norm is, stuff like toilets, lunch, smoking breaks etc, where the nice sandwich bars are, where the local park is to sit in at lunchtime, code for the photocopier, what each department does, where the stationery cupboard is etc.

As someone else said go to them with a solution, not a problem.

Pass your complaints up the line. Let your manager manage this. That is their job. You have even more reason to do this now. Stop cleaning up after grown adults. You aren't their mother. Let the bin overflow. Leave the cups in the sink.

Very simple don't do it. Do what you are paid to do. The management will see exactly what is happening. Dishes bring your own keep in locker and ignore their mess

If these colleagues have just left school, they will have no clue whatsoever about how to behave at work.

Seems like they have no clue how to behave, full stop. Do what you are asked and clean up after yourself are primary school level requirements.

Did none of them ever have Saturday jobs or holiday jobs?

And since when was it the employer's job to tell them where to go for lunch? This sort of thing just perpetuates the helplessness and expectation of spoonfeeding. You find out that sort of thing through talking to your colleagues, or going for a walk in your lunch break.

One of the things about your first job is that you don't just learn the job, you learn about how to operate in the workplace.

If these colleagues have just left school, they will have no clue whatsoever about how to behave at work.

I'm going to take a wild stab that after 6 months in the office, being asked to behave in certain ways and having the example of experienced office staff to follow (e.g. actually cleaning up after yourself), these people DO have a clue even if they didn't to start with. It can't be ignorance after that amount of time, must purely be idleness and/or entitlement.

She’d have to raise it in supervision then. If she tells the powers that be she can’t do her job because of the slackers then it will get sorted quite quickly probably. It would be a performance issue.

But her supervisors don't want to supervise and the managers don't want to manage, they want the staff to sort things out themselves. In trying to do this and getting nowhere, she let off steam, not at the slackers, but with her colleagues who are in the same situation and has been pulled up about it. This is a no-win situation for her.

That assumes that her company has regular supervisions. Where I work now does, but I've been in many places where that isn't a requirement.

I find chatGBT really helpful in giving good, clear step by step guidance to workplace issues. You do need to go back into work and resolve it in a professional manner with your managers. Good luck.

Considering your considerable experience, you have clearly handled this very badly!
It’s not your job to comment or correct others’ work. You do your job, and any issues from
others you report to your line manager to deal with.
If you’ve been tackling the individuals yourself, you are ripe for a bullying charge.
Wind your neck in.

Wind your own neck in. If you had bothered to read this through the managers don't want to manage and have told the workers they are mature enough to sort out their own problems. When you have shown the same people how to do something for the umpteenth time and despite suggesting that they write it down, they don't, and you can't get on with your own work because they haven't done what they were supposed to do first and training other members of staff is not in your job description is it any wonder that people get just a tad pissed off. The OP is not in a management or training position and yet is expected to manage and train and when she does she gets accused of "picking on" people who are supposed to be adults. We are talking about graduates not 16 year olds straight out of secondary school. God knows what they graduated in, definitely not common sense or work ethic.

Perhaps you should read all of the OP's updates before you tell her to wind her neck in

Back at you!

It the managers aren’t fussed about whether the job gets done then what does it matter? What are they going to do? Get angry with her for not doing not doing her job when she literally can’t? So yeah, just stop doing their work for them.

Or get another job.

Do not work harder to bail them out.
Start leaving the office a mess as well.

You need to make this a problem for the boss rather than taking on an implied responsibility. Until this causes your manager grief nothing will change.

There is no benefit raising this with HR. They are there to look after the company rather than you.

I had read all the updates. My advice remains the same.
She needs to force management to manage by handing problems back to them. By attempting to manage the shirkers herself, she IS effectively picking on them as she is not their boss.
A simple bit of clear thinking and communication to the bosses (and escalating the issue if bosses refuse to do their job) will sort it out.

Sorry not been back to you. Got back from holiday, had loads to do at home, then went back to work.

It’s been pretty shit all week. Nothings changed.

Just to clarify, I’m not, nor want to be the manager, but I’m often asked to take on their role, when they aren’t around, which involves asking for things. It’s not just me, there are others in the same boat as me.

Whilst I was away a few of my colleagues ended up off sick and now referring themselves to our wellbeing section as they feel it’s too much, doing their job, dealing with all the stress of conflict, and lack of support.

My meeting didn’t happen. Management too busy.

I was told by another manager that the whole organisation has recognised that they have a serious problem with our younger recruits and they’ve been having meetings about it. Not sure what’ll happen there. IMO it’s coupled with a management issue.

On Monday, one of my dept. Came in at 11, went for lunch at 12, came back at 1.30 and then went off again for 45 mins for a vape. Their work is not completed, and one of us will be asked to pick it up. My colleague went to the manager and was told to wind her neck in and stop complaining about the other colleague.

I’m invited with my other colleagues to a meeting to discuss how things are going, hopefully next week. There I fully intend to tell them I’m no longer prepared to do extra work, unpaid, and unsupported and further more, the next time it happens, I too will self refer to our occupational health.

I'm so sorry nothing has changed. It's definitely a management issue. Hopefully if all the good colleagues come together and back each other up changes might happen.

It soundsike you need to refer this to HR.

I hope things escalate so that you get a successful resolution to this.

Why is your manager such a wet drip?! He doesn't like confrontation and wants you to do their work?! What an idiot, you'll all end up leaving because of it! The managers will end up finishing the work, and I'm sure they'll discipline the new staff then. I'd tell your colleagues to keep logging what they're doing/not doing. Stop working over/extra. Report all missed deadlines. Until it all gets picked up by upper management.

Over the weekend write a list of all the things you have been asked to do that are not in your job description or pay grade and keep a note of all the time people are not at their desk or workspace. It is hard to remember these things off the top of your head in a meeting

The person who took my job, and wanted more money than I got for doing it, used to go AWOL for at least 1 1/2 hours every lunch time, not bad for a 30 min break. Our manager didn't like phones unanswered so when she cleared off I used to transfer her calls to his phone. He also didn't like this. I told him that when I am busy answering her phone I can't answer my own which makes me look bad. She was a smoker as well so had plenty of "fag breaks", I don't smoke but they weren't impressed when I asked for a Gin and Tonic break instead.

When she was out on her extended lunch the office secretary would ring me up and I would sing Eric Carmen's All By Myself to her. She would then make a note of every time I was on my own in the office for an hour or more.

This sort of shit can really get to you after a while and you need to look after your long term health. I decided I had had enough and got another job. Funnily enough there was a big reorganization after I left when they found out who did the work but wasn't there any more to do it.

Hopefully you can get something sorted out early next week, but in the meantime enjoy the weekend and relax a bit.

I’ve kept my cool this week of course. I’ve tried to be factual, and matter of fact. I don’t want to ever get stressed out big time at work again, it’s unprofessional, and I’ve got other more important personal stuff that needs my energy.

I’ve now realised that it’s been drip drip in giving me responsibility, with no extra pay or authority (someone said this down thread) and it’s just been piled on to me (and other colleagues) like one extra layer at a time. At one point this week I asked someone to help me do something and I thought they were going to tell me to fuck off. I negotiated with them to help me complete something whereas with everyone else it works both ways, you help me, then when you need help of course, I’m there.

It has really got to my MH and other colleagues too.