Pulled up for “picking on someone at work”.

[ThunderRoadRunner]

I’ve been on holiday for a few weeks, and will be going back to work on Monday. I’m dreading it.

For the last couple of days before I went on holiday I lost it at work. In all my working days, which amounts to a few decades, I’ve never lost my temper.

It centred around a number of new-ish people we have in our dept. They’ve been there about 6 months. They literally do no work, do not hand over any completed work and even just leave things in the sink for other people to wash up after them etc.

I and another colleague have assertively asked them about the handovers, ask them to clean up their mess, and point out that work has not been done, which means I and a few others end up doing it. This is done professionally. However, I came in a couple of days before I went on vacation and was told there were formal complaints about “being picked on”.

I just lost it.

WIBU to expect colleagues to do their share? After all, it’s the rest of us that end up picking up the slack.

Also, I really want to go back to work with a strategy that involves me not picking up the slack for others on top of my own stressful job. Any tips?

It sounds like you are picking on them though. It's not your place to have a moan at them about the kitchen. If they're not pulling their weight, involve managers. And stop "losing it" at people at work.

How helpful of you. We can only strive to live up to your shining example ✨

Hi op,

I would say something like this.

I’m sorry if colleague felt that they were being picked on. It was not my attention to make them feel this way.
I’m finding that a lot of work is being neglected and this results in increased workload for myself and threatens our handover.
Previously when I have spoken to managers they have asked that I communicate this to the individual myself, stating we are mature enough to take onboard feedback. However, in this case such feedback clearly needs to go through the line of management, as I can see that constructive criticism has been interpreted negatively, and again this is not what I set out to achieve.
All I am interested in is being able to carry out my job efficiently, and to do this I need…

This is not parallel or comparable to losing it at work.

This.

Well she has also has every right to be angry at the workshy messy ones. Surely competent adults should just get on with their jobs and be reasonably tidy and respectful of others without being specifically instructed so.

Of course, but the OP said her complaints are about a “number of newish people”. Not the odd person. It sounds like they haven’t been properly inducted or aren’t being managed if there are a group of them and they’re all new.

You have a manager problem as well as a colleague problem. Find a better job.

Yes and it would be an ideal time to speak to management ‘we have an issue as the new employees are not pulling their weight, historically we were able to manage ourselves, but we may need new written procedures now’

Well if you have been holding it down, by covering the lack of work, the loss of your input will show.
When you get back if they ask you to pick up the undone jobs, ask who was supposed to have done covered it.
Send an email to your boss each time.
Hey just to confirm you need me to do x, is this before I complete y, or do I put that on hold for x?
As to the kitchen, take photos, then just wash your own mug.

Which is why I said it. Because it’s the right way to go.

So you’re working the latter part of the week do everything is basically falling to you as deadlines and clean ups need to be completed by Friday?

I just want to do my job, and I don’t want extra work. I’m trying to work out how I approach this

You approach it by presenting it to your own managers as a workload issue, explaining that since you obviously can't do it all you need guidance on what they want you to prioritise

Leaving it for staff to sort among themselves only works up to a point, and when issues like this arise it's their job to step in - otherwise you get this pathetic, playground-like "they're picking on me!!" nonsense

This is the sort of thing that happened when agency staff were brought in to help me. Because I worked for the company full time there was an ingrained attitude that it wasn’t their job so they weren’t going to put themselves out.

It is a conundrum.

Absolutely everyone hates to be critiqued/criticised/told off or simply corrected and being told something is not appropriate for x ie not telling off, just telling. Everyone.

Even when it’s said calmly, neutrally and professionally. It seems that being told you’re not doing your job / well enough leaves people with feelings ranging from hurt or annoyed through to worthless. It must trigger feelings from childhood.

Yet, all too often people don’t carry their weight or need to be corrected. So what, as a colleague or manager, do you do?

Compounding the issue is the fact that those who don’t carry their weight tend to be the ones most sensitive to criticism!

Not to mention how research tells us that a majority of managers are incompetent and uncomfortable at having those ‘difficult conversations’.

What is the answer?

Sadly this is now an exercise in covering yourself and not the rights and wrongs of the situation.

I think you need a change of mindset before you go in. Whether your colleagues are lazy isn't the issue you are currently facing and just arguing that they are isn't likely to help you (however true it may be).

You need to start creating a trail. So when were you told to handle this yourselves? Can you think of the meeting, induction session, or even better email in which it was said? Write it down and date it.

When and how have you reported workload issues up the chain? Again email is good but if you can state I told x this at this time, write it down.

Have there been opportunities with your line managers to discuss the issues with the new team? Have issues been raised at meetings or catch ups?

How have you been supported to handle the increased expectations (which I'm hoping you have some record of pointing out).

What are the business critical failings/potential failings the current system is creating?

I would try and make it as impersonal as possible. If you go in with X is useless and Y is lazy then you are self supporting a bullying claim.

You really want to demonstrate that current processes are failing, you have flagged this, you have not had any support to deal with it despite repeated requests (which you can back up with the timeline you present).

Regardless of how long you have been working - to 'lose it' towards people is unprofessional and also can be classed as bullying in the workplace if you have 'lost it' with them, told them assertively (which someone could take as being aggressive) etc etc.

You don't have to tidy up after anyone. Just leave their stuff in the sink and just do your own.

I think that if there were formal complaints put in regarding your behaviour towards them then i would obviously take it on board. If there is a formal complaint, it will need to be investigated. The company will have to interview all parties and insurance will have to be informed.

Sounds like from the limited facts you said - that maybe they do feel like you are bullying them and that is not ok.

In readiness, sit down and write out your complaints about their unprofessional behaviour - with the emphasis on the non-completion of work and impact on you and other colleagues. Has the in your head dual benefit of clarifying the problem to yourself and others, and being able to readily something in your defence. But be prepared to apologise for blowing up at people at work - that’s also unprofessional

I'd suggest focusing on missed targets and work not done and ignoring unwashed coffee mugs if you're going to pursue this. Keep it serious and professional and follow established processes. Maybe make deadlines and expectations more ch clearer and document them. And stop picking up the slack.

This is great advice :)

Absolutely understand why this fills you with rage - do not understand how you “lost it” at work though. Walk away, cool down, remember you’re not the boss and it’s not your place to pull up your colleagues or lose it at them.

Urgh!

Supporting someone to cover themselves when they acted so unprofessionally at work? Distasteful.

OP, admit you shouldn't have lost it at work, say sorry, and ensure everyone involved it won't happen again (and don't let it).

I'm also curious about what losing it means. Screaming, swearing, physical violence, below belt name-calling, stern yet professional feedback?

Can't handovers be made more formal?

An email to say 20 cases came in this half of the week, we did 2, so 18 left for you (on top of the 20 that may come in during your half) copied into the manager.

You need to show how the work is being handed over with facts to back it up.

This.