Pulled up for “picking on someone at work”.

[ThunderRoadRunner]

I’ve been on holiday for a few weeks, and will be going back to work on Monday. I’m dreading it.

For the last couple of days before I went on holiday I lost it at work. In all my working days, which amounts to a few decades, I’ve never lost my temper.

It centred around a number of new-ish people we have in our dept. They’ve been there about 6 months. They literally do no work, do not hand over any completed work and even just leave things in the sink for other people to wash up after them etc.

I and another colleague have assertively asked them about the handovers, ask them to clean up their mess, and point out that work has not been done, which means I and a few others end up doing it. This is done professionally. However, I came in a couple of days before I went on vacation and was told there were formal complaints about “being picked on”.

I just lost it.

WIBU to expect colleagues to do their share? After all, it’s the rest of us that end up picking up the slack.

Also, I really want to go back to work with a strategy that involves me not picking up the slack for others on top of my own stressful job. Any tips?

Managing each other doesn’t involve “losing it though”

Give them no feedback and stop tidying up the office. Keep a log of what isn’t been done. When stuff isn’t ready for a deadline tell your manager that x isn’t ready as you had no input from whoever for their part of the work.

‘Assertively’ could be viewed as being harsh to be honest and the fact that you used ‘lost it’ AFTER being harsh says you need to start making peace with the things irritating you op, it’s not your fight, why are you that invested?

OP I feel for you, there is nothing more frustrating and resentment-building than having to pick up for workshy passengers who do nothing and seem to get away with it.

I suggest that you get in front of this situation by requesting a meeting with mnagement/HR on your first day back and set out the entire situation from your perspective. Take your supportive colleague with you as support.

Make sure you take specific documented examples of their laziness and poor behaviour. Speak in terms of facts, not feelings.

You sound like you are a valued employee and if you take the lead and conduct this meeting well, I have no doubt that management will see where you are coming from

How exactly did you 'lose it?'

You should deal with it un a more professional way. Call a meeting about performance targets. Are these people still on probation. It does sound a bit as if you are treating them like children. You are right not to accept the poor performance. But it was your method of dealing with it that was wrong. You're not their mother.

OP, if you have been off for a few weeks maybe the problems will have become self evident to your bosses in your absence, seeing as you weren’t there to pick up the slack?

This sounds like poor people management all around.

People not managing the shared space is a leadership issue. They set the expectations of acceptable standards and you do your own washing up.
For the work issue, you need to be consistently transparent with your manager so they can pass this on.

It can be hard working with part-time people especially if you are new to the organisation. Ideally there should be some time set aside so you can all work together in a training session.

When someone is frustrated they can 'snap', which on the outside shows as angry body language, raised higher-pitched voice, stiff-body, red cheeks etc. I think this is what the lazy gits in your office will use against you to say you are being angry (not frustrated at their lack of support).

Try not to get caught out again. Have your points planned, written and take them to management..."they only achieve 1 task a day, they take 1hour breaks twice a day...".

Don't do less, do your job but, don't do more, i.e. don't work harder and don't stay late. Encourage others to do their jobs and also to record the lazy gits working gaps.

Well I'd put it back on management, pretty pathetic. Not managing their staff, then telling you not to go to them with issues and sort it out yourselves and then reprimanding them for it. Although it does sound maybe you actually told them off rather than doing it professionally. But definitely back to their managers absolutely.

Agree with PP this sounds like shit management.

It absolutely should not be your business to pull colleagues up on their productivity or anything else. That’s what their manager is paid for. You just do your bit and if there’s a failure, the manager will have to investigate and identify points of failure.

You have fallen into a dangerous habit of assuming responsibility you don’t actually have, presumably because of a management failure.

Are you the only person frustrated at the newer staffs lack of productivity?

Are other people also picking up the slack for them?

If you are honest with yourself do you think your frustration resulted in unprofessional behaviour when you "lost it"?

I think you need to find out if any of your colleagues who are also covering for less effective team members are willing to meet with management to discuss the issues with newer members of staff and ask them to deal with it.

Take a list of specific examples to the meeting and ask management to tell you what procedure they would like you to follow if other people are not doing their job.

Be prepared to apologise for losing it, keep the apology limited to the nature of your behaviour, not the nature of your complaint.

When projects come in keep a record of who was allocated which tasks and report to management if other people do not do complete their portion of the work. Ask colleagues for updates on their progress via email so that you have a record.

I'd be interested in how long the people who think they are being picked on have been in paid employment and whether the company has a comprehensive induction/orientation program for new employees.

When you talk about it try to stay objective about what the problems are. You say you lost it, it’s understandable being frustrated, the problem is people feel picked on if you raise your voice or shame them. They focus on your behaviour rather than their own. It sounds like management need step in here.

I feel for you, I’ve occasionally worked with people who seemed to need to be constantly instructed to do their basic duties. They don’t last long but it’s harder while they’re there.

We have always been told that we are mature enough to talk to our peers directly about issues, and not involve management.

So you tell management that you have tried to do that, but your peers are not mature enough to respond sensibly and instead have falsely accused you of picking on them. Tell your managers that means it is now up to them to sort this out.

Are you a clinician OP? I can see this happening in a nursing environment. Then you wouldn't have you own desk drawer for mug stashing and handovers would be absolutely crucial. Apologise for blowing your top but escalate and say their inaction is causing you to experience work-related stress.

I would say either

1. as PP suggests, document on an email at the start who is doing what. Get the manager to either set it or agree it
2. do the extra work but email manager to explain this
3. just do your share and just say no. If the project fails you can hold your head high then

i feel for you, it is rubbish picking up extra work.

I think you just have to ignore the kitchen. I know it’s horrible but picking up after the others is setting the expectation. Just deal with your own stuff and ask for a dishwasher.

I really feel for you. I think it will only change if other people see what you’re talking about.

I say it every time but are you in a union? Get on to your rep ASAP.

Put simply it sounds like you need to make a counter complaint about work not being done and staff not cleaning up after themselves.

What did 'losing it' look like?

To be fair it does depend on the job, I can see that. I think you probably need to tell us in a general sense what line of work you’re in. Big difference between and office environment and something more hands on. Is there a safety risk to the project not being completed? I think you and colleague need to push back to the manager. This is what they get paid for.

You are not their manager so ‘lean out’. Refer everything to management. Care less.

Stop doing their work and stop tidying up after them. It is management’s job to stop this, not yours. Sometimes things have to fail in order to get anything to happen. If a report doesn’t get finished just say, ‘I’m still waiting for Bob to finish his bit’. If the sink is full of cups and plates keep a clean set for yourself. Your manager isn’t reacting because you are doing his dirty work for him, but you don’t have the authority. Let it become your manager’s problem.

I don’t understand how in all your decades at work you’ve never developed the skills to deal with this kind of situation. You talk to the people in your team first and if this doesn’t work you take it to your line management. Is really basic stuff.

You do your own work as far as you can and if there’s some you can’t complete as a colleague any done their bit, then that’s what you communicate.

You are human so you can’t always regulate your emotions perfectly. It’s done now. Just work with HR on resolving the matter and move on from it.

You lost my sympathy at 'lost it at work'

YABU. Be professional, do not lose temper etc at work.