Parents new “friend”

[Itllbealrightonthenight]

I feel uncomfortable about my parents new friend, let’s call her Tracey.
My parents are in their early 60’s, both retired and have plenty of friends and family around them. Almost overnight this Tracey has become part of their everyday lives. Tracey is 26 and according to her, has crappy parents which is why my parents have taken her under their wing. She drives to their house for dinner several nights a week, goes shopping with them, goes to the gym with Dad 3 times a week. I met Tracey for the first time recently and she was pleasant enough but dismissive of me and made no effort to get to know me. I made a conscious effort to get to know her and make her feel welcome - because my parents have grown close to her. But she wasn’t interested and actually made me feel like the stranger in the situation. To my shock she repeatedly called my parents Mum and Dad. That made me feel really uncomfortable around her and I’m suspicious of how quickly she has formed this deep bond with my parents. I can’t help but question her motives. My parents have accepted her life story as she tells it- a neglected child. But the reality is she’s 26, an adult and my parents don’t actually know her yet. She lives with her Dad who she says isn’t supportive. Her mother is elsewhere and she too doesn’t have a good relationship with her. Apparently.
Im suspicious about her intentions and also peed off that she and my parents have totally disrespected me by allowing her to call them Mum and Dad. They’ve known eachother for 6 months!
Thoughts?

Meet her, record her on your phone, and use the pretence of wanting a photo of her and your parents together. Once you have a photo, then use google lens to see if google can match her face at all. Look on facebookfor people matching her description. (after making sure what her natural hair colour is). Take a photo of her reg and the car make / model, at the very least check if it's insured and MOTted..Find her address she's given your parents and just drive by at 4am and see if her car is there. Once you have an address, google it, and see if there are any details you can find (like companies registered against it) . Try to find her dad online, if he owns a business then phone from a burner sim and just say "Oh are you XXX dad? I was hoping you can give me a quote for xxxx."
There are ways to linking what she's saying about her dad to her.
Also, of course she could be saying the whole truth, and your parents are just worried for her. You don't know what the "adding to the will" comment was about. It might be that they want her to have a pair of gloves / or all their estate... Ultimately it's always their choice to decide what goes to whom, but it does seem quite odd. My parents have discussed that there are things goihg to various people, but these are people who've helped them or they've known for decades and are friends.

Very true, but some people also just want to be loved and a stable relationship with a mother or father like figure. I wonder if there is a way that the OP's parents could ask her to do something which would put her out.... Like giving them a lift or something... See how she acts then... but I can't really think of something that would work.

We had something very similar happen with my husbands parents, except that they were older, and they were conned by their nephew and his wife with the knowledge of my husbands uncle

It didn’t end well. His mother (last surviving parent) died penniless, when they’d owned a home worth almost a million. The cousin had their house by time.

It’s heartbreakingly sad, not because of the money but the way they were treated, particularly his mum after his dad died.

We went wrong by my husband trying to warn his parents. He tried to be really gentle (in the very small amount of time they were left alone) but they’d been pretty much brainwashed. This was a few years ago now, and reading this post has brought up feelings I’d buried

Please don’t let yourself be pushed out OP, but equally tread really carefully with advice

OP will be retired then and her daughter will be late middle age potential with great grandchildren. Tracey's unlikely to go the distance.

Yes but in the mean time Tracey could be stealing money or objects from the parents house...

get her out. she is clearly after money.

Well it depends what she's after really.

Atm she's being fed regularly.

Maybe soon she might as well stop over here & there.

Then she'll potentially be moving in, losing her job...

This is great advice. There is something really off about this story. Hope you can get to the bottom of this.

I would be getting other family members and friends to be there all the time too. If it looks like you’re the only one who’s got suspicions, it’ll be easier for Tracey to convince your parents it’s you with the problem.
would you write to them? Maybe when it’s all written down in black and white it will be easier for them to digest what you’re saying rather than it turning into a heated argument.
and definitely start surveillance on Tracey.

I would definitely do this too. Chancers don't want hard work so the more you can be around and about, involved will put them off

Please check her out. This is very worrying.

It doesn't really fit the profile for 'cuckooing' where the victim is usually very vulnerable (an addict, learning disabled, MH issues, very elderly, lonely) and usually in social housing.

It is weird and I agree with PP that you need to get other family and friends on board and stage an intervention but in a slow steady way where everyone is saying the same things and asking the same questions and staying close.

Is your mother as taken in by Tracey as your father is? Could you talk to your mother about the will? She would have to be on board if it was changed as she would have to sign it. Can’t she tell your father, Don’t be ridiculous, we are not putting Tracey in the will. We
barely know her.

First thing I’d do is find her online, although not everyone has a profile or can be found (tried this last year with some dodgy characters). If there’s no online presence then I’d try to contact the dad or see where she works/lives. It’s incredibly dodgy.

local gym. 3X week nd sort obsessed with it might be useful. ...wouldnt go in all guns blazing yet...iwho do you know that works/goes there- people do love to talk. job what \where.again who do you know.?

@Itllbealrightonthenight definitely seems extremely suspicious. Lots of good advice here, especially getting parents’ Lasting Power of Attorney in place, nannycam etc, investigator. What do your siblings say?

Your parents could already be ‘lending’ Tracey money. I wonder how you could find out.

If your parents always use the same solicitor for wills, it wouldn't hurt to write to the solicitor with your worries about a possible change.

Your parents are early 60’s? Not usually the time when any mental medical problem would kick in. It just sounds as though they welcome her in their lives, for whatever reason.

I would tread carefully - I’m the age of your parents, fully compos mentis, and would not appreciate my ACs trying to tell me who my fiends should be.🙄

I would quietly tell Tracy that you already have POA and see how quickly she disappears.

You have fiends? I'd be concerned for you were I your family!

OP from my personal situation, my mother attracts just these types who aim to rinse her for her money, time, lifts, you name it! When it happens we always go low contact and keep grandchildren away because these kinds of people we do not know, and they suddenly become for her highly or the highest valued ‘member of the clan’. They are con artists out for what they can get. Luckily my father protects her and understands these types need to be told to sling their hook. When you have a pair thinking in unison both worshiping the person, it will be more problematic and I do hope for your sake it’s a case of the candle that burns twice as bring burns half as long

Absolutely

I will add, though, I once knew somebody whose cousin willingly allowed Cuckooing to be carried out in her Home.
They would store things there and all of the above occurred (visits late at night, mopeds up and down etc etc) but she done it all for the Money, and it was considerable.
When they find people like that they pay them big bucks (or, Indeed, give them free drugs or pay utilities etc) because its no skin off their noses the amount they must get.
The vulnerable though, its Evil when they use the vulnerable.

She did serve a prison sentence for it when it all blew open.

OP I would do what you are saying and keep a keen eye on Tracey

It’s very worrying for you

Any sign of drugs? I know you say Tracey is into fitness and the gym but a family member of mine gave hundreds of pounds to a group of people so desperate for weed they would tell lies eg family emergencies to get the money. They would promise to pay it back but never did.

It's a good idea for everyone to have LPA lined up while fit and well. My mother set one up after dad died. It doesn't get used until you lose capacity but if you wait until capacity is lost it's too late to do it.
DH and I are in our 60s set up LPAs with each other and both DC as attourneys five years ago when DC were early 20s.
They may never need to use it but it's there if needed.