Parents new “friend”

[Itllbealrightonthenight]

I feel uncomfortable about my parents new friend, let’s call her Tracey.
My parents are in their early 60’s, both retired and have plenty of friends and family around them. Almost overnight this Tracey has become part of their everyday lives. Tracey is 26 and according to her, has crappy parents which is why my parents have taken her under their wing. She drives to their house for dinner several nights a week, goes shopping with them, goes to the gym with Dad 3 times a week. I met Tracey for the first time recently and she was pleasant enough but dismissive of me and made no effort to get to know me. I made a conscious effort to get to know her and make her feel welcome - because my parents have grown close to her. But she wasn’t interested and actually made me feel like the stranger in the situation. To my shock she repeatedly called my parents Mum and Dad. That made me feel really uncomfortable around her and I’m suspicious of how quickly she has formed this deep bond with my parents. I can’t help but question her motives. My parents have accepted her life story as she tells it- a neglected child. But the reality is she’s 26, an adult and my parents don’t actually know her yet. She lives with her Dad who she says isn’t supportive. Her mother is elsewhere and she too doesn’t have a good relationship with her. Apparently.
Im suspicious about her intentions and also peed off that she and my parents have totally disrespected me by allowing her to call them Mum and Dad. They’ve known eachother for 6 months!
Thoughts?

This is a really odd question. The grandparents could have had the OP before 20, the OP could have had her DD around the same age but I'm not sure why it matters here at all.

It’s uncommon in this day and age, but certainly not unheard of. My closest friend was a grandparent at 44; I’m 45 and have more than one Facebook friend from my schooldays who is now a grandparent. A few generations ago it was the norm; my grandmothers became grandmothers at 43 and 44 respectively.

@Holdthisgoodweather i was a parent at 16, my mum was 38. Young mums are a hell of a lot more common than you think and we’d thank you to keep your judgement in your own head ffs.

There’s an important point about motivation here though. We all know why dirty old men pretend to be teenagers online. What kick would your average teenager get out of convincing strangers they’re a 40-something woman worried about her parents?

They weren’t asking the op. Someone else said they had a similar experience so they asked them to share.

I wasn't judging. I was making a point about the OP's posts and the content.

Are you always so touchy and rude? Swearing at me because I query something in a post?

Who said being a young mother was bad?

This is giving Martha from baby reindeer vibes OP, can you contact the police?

@FrenchMustard

Truth is stranger than fiction!

Oops, sorry, posted in error.

You sound familiar OP. 🤔

Name change fail?

😬

This poster is so right. Love the way you get straight to the point. I think most of us are scared of stating the obvious and being impolite but your suggestion is exactly the right thing to do.

Call the “friend” out and say what you think is happening from the off OP

Reading the whole thread properly fail?

Are your parents feeling a bit neglected? Might they slightly be making a point? By finding someone new to be their “daughter” because they feel they aren’t seeing enough of the family they do have?
I think it’s a worrying situation and in your shoes I would be trying to drop in more often.

Something vaguely similar happened to my mother when she was in her 70s, although the person concerned was closer to her own age, about 15 years younger. The woman became very friendly when she found out my mother had recently inherited some money. They used to go on shopping trips and my mother would buy things for her.

On the few occasions I met the woman she made me feel I was intruding on their relationship. I couldn't stand her and thought she had ill intent.

I thought my mother might have left her something in her Will. But fortunately had she turned out to have more sense.

Yes yes! Brilliant!

I've read the whole shebang and agree.

I would definitely say, "why are you calling them your mum and dad? Because they're not! You've literally only known them for 6 months! It's creepy!"

It’s worth reading this. This couple were only in their early 60s too.
BBC article

The dynamic of it odd. They’ve known each other for months, and suddenly they do everything together, and apparently she’s in your parents will? If this is true, she’s absolutely taking money from them, and emotionally manipulating them.

I’ve got much older friends my parents age from work that I’ve known for donkeys years. One of them is definitely a parental figure and we do loads together and get on like a house on fire. I’m really close to my mum though and it’s sort of like having two of them, which is amazing.

From what you describe it’s a bit like love bombing. As I said, she’s either getting money off them, or about to go for the jugular.

I think this might be on the money... its an unusual pairing with your parents

However a possibility that nobody else has mentioned is that she may not be a con woman and instead be someone who has a personality disorder like BPD that forms intense attachments very quickly. This would not only explain why she was cold with you but also why she keeps trying it on with your daughter despite getting clear signs of rejection.

I also think inviting her dad along to all the family events is also a good idea.
You can get more info and it shines a light in that corner...

RunningThroughMyHead is not wrong but id temper it slightly. leave out the "I'm watching you... social services" and add "I also saw you eyeing up my daughter as did she. It's totally inappropriate and ypu were so aggressive, shes now very uncomfortable being around you as a result."

I know someone who became a grandparent at 37. She had her first child quite young and her first child has also had a child quite young. It is possible to become a grandparent at a young age, just not very common.

@Holdthisgoodweather you know exactly what you were implying, the age the OP became a mother at and the age her parents became grandparents has absolutely no bearing on the situation posted. We can see right through you and all your false “oh my gosh” attitude.