Parents new “friend”

[Itllbealrightonthenight]

I feel uncomfortable about my parents new friend, let’s call her Tracey.
My parents are in their early 60’s, both retired and have plenty of friends and family around them. Almost overnight this Tracey has become part of their everyday lives. Tracey is 26 and according to her, has crappy parents which is why my parents have taken her under their wing. She drives to their house for dinner several nights a week, goes shopping with them, goes to the gym with Dad 3 times a week. I met Tracey for the first time recently and she was pleasant enough but dismissive of me and made no effort to get to know me. I made a conscious effort to get to know her and make her feel welcome - because my parents have grown close to her. But she wasn’t interested and actually made me feel like the stranger in the situation. To my shock she repeatedly called my parents Mum and Dad. That made me feel really uncomfortable around her and I’m suspicious of how quickly she has formed this deep bond with my parents. I can’t help but question her motives. My parents have accepted her life story as she tells it- a neglected child. But the reality is she’s 26, an adult and my parents don’t actually know her yet. She lives with her Dad who she says isn’t supportive. Her mother is elsewhere and she too doesn’t have a good relationship with her. Apparently.
Im suspicious about her intentions and also peed off that she and my parents have totally disrespected me by allowing her to call them Mum and Dad. They’ve known eachother for 6 months!
Thoughts?

I thought cuckooing straight away! There was another case which was turned into a tv drama which sounds similar. I think observing is a good plan, possibly make notes of the small things that concern you and date them.

Can't you have a consultation with the police? They must have fraud investigators who can advise you and even do a bit of background checking. I'd be running there like a shot.

@Itllbealrightonthenight My alarm bells are ringing off the wall here..

How much are they paying for?

A younger adult I know was given a £400,000 flat by an elderly man he'd ''befriended'' -It was a plan worked on by the younger man.

The birth son was shocked.

The old man was targeted by women, too.
Tapped for ''loans'' circa £26,000 {many years ago so worth more now} that were never repaid.

This woman has an agenda.

Absolutely this! Definitely do a bit of investigative work. Does she have a job? if so where does she work and can you find out more about her there? I would also check her social media accounts and see what's being posted. Visit her dad and if you can find her, speak to her mum as well. It's so easy for honest decent people to be taken in and grifted. She may be genuine, but my spidey senses are tingling as well!

To the PP who queried about POA. Age has nothing to do with it. Vulnerability and protecting OP parents does.
(FWIW I have held a POA for my DSIS since she was about 30).

Jesus christ.
I thought it was a red flag from the first post but this is WILD

"Grandad said he’s changing his will to include Tracey!"

Shes a random he has known for 6 months...

I dont know what the answer is but i would be deeply concerted.
Id def Do police check and probably a private investigator if i could afford it

I would do a thorough investigation on her, social media, places she's worked and run a criminal background on her. With all this info on me I would go to step 2) Having a chat with your parents and expressing your concerns. She may be a good apple or she may be not.

@Itllbealrightonthenight Oh no....The will has been changed already??

The man I know who got the £400,00 flat texted me on Christmas Day a few years back to say ''Got my wish - {Address} is MINE.''

This woman is playing a long game.

You all having alarm bells, including your Daughter is very telling.

She’ll be after their money, sure as eggs is eggs.
I dare say your folks would hotly deny that if you said it now - let’s hope they don’t have to find out the hard way,

If it were me, I think I’d just say, ‘I hope you won’t be giving her your bank details,’ - and leave it at that, at least for now.

I've no advice other than to say the whole situation sounds very peculiar. If your parents were in their 80s with cognitive issues you could justifiably intervene in their relationships. They are fit energetic age 60s people which is still relatively young so there's probably not much you can do. I would be straight with them & explain how this woman is making you feel ghosted within your own family and your daughter feels uncomfortable around her & wait for the reaction.

They are still relatively young and fit. Running, gym etc Lots of people still work in their sixties. I'm not sure with full capacity that the police will be able to do much without seriously pissing off the parents. Social services won't as they aren't vulnerable. Your parents solicitors won't discuss with you and why should they.

How close are you and your brother to them? Honestly? Maybe they enjoy this woman in their lives.

I find all your outrage completely reassuring.
Lots of links to dramas and case stories, which make me feel sick! I will be watching and listening to them. These eyes are firmly open. And watching.
Can anyone recommend methods of search please? I’d never heard of cuckooing until one of you mentioned it.
I didn’t think it were possible to do a CRB check on someone, please correct me if I’m wrong.
I know where she works but that doesn’t give me much to go on unless I go and speak to her boss which I really don’t think is a good idea. Also if this person is manipulative, I don’t want my searches to be twisted and for me to be the bad guy.

To clarify, I don’t know if the will has been changed. My daughter told me Grandad said he was adding Tracey to the will. Or words to that effect. I’m concerned that if I directly approach my Dad and ask “Have you added Tracey to your Will?” he will become defensive. Hes a stubborn old goat and I’ve got to go about this the right way. And, as some others have said, it’s up to him who he includes in his will. I’m hoping that she does something to make him question her motives and so I’m inclined to let the situation breathe a little.
He adores my daughter and I think it’s a good idea to mention to him that she feels uncomfortable around Tracey.

I haven't read full thread sorry as got to go out, but happened to my friends grandma, woman talked her into putting her in the will then she would steal stuff from the house and request money. Was an awful time. Eventually she talked her into completely removing her actual child from the will. My friend was devastated

It's hard to understand from the description of your parents that they are interested?

Watch the sixth Commandment on I player it was a true story.

Mental incapacity can happen at any age.

@Itllbealrightonthenight rather than asking your dad about including Tracey in his will, perhaps questions that will put seeds of doubt into his mind, and that of your mother, would be a better option.

@ExceptMyApologah

Thats a good strategy!

I cant believe you've stated your parents are fit healthy young looking people who go for runs yet there are posters intent on hanging their hats on elderly & vulnerable. This has absolutely nothing to do with the situation. I'd do my utmost to find out whats really going on here OP.

I hope this is a fantasy post, I really do.

But things like this do happen.

He also really didn't want to take the money when he found out about it

He didnt have to take it though did he? but presumably he did, right?
Sorry I am highly suspicious of this.

Do you know what sort of work she does? That might give you another link to her just to talk about or even ask around about her.
Did she go to school locally? Do a search on local news sites using her full name and any variables on the spelling.
And I think you and your sibling could just have a chat with local police, she might be known to them.
Having a chat with someone you go to the gym with is normal, inviting them to a BBQ, maybe for lunch occasionally all sound normal. Several times a week and her calling them mum and dad definitely not.

Put a nanny cam into your parents home to see what happens when Tracey visits.

It might be worth you registering your parent's home on this (assuming they own and don't rent):
https://www.gov.uk/guidance/property-alert

I've done it this week as my elderly dad is potentially in a similar sort of situation.

Agree with what people say in terms of getting LPAs sorted for your parents.

Get her car reg for when you talk to the police - they can use that to get her real name, if you're worried that she might not be using her real name.

Good luck!

If they already go out for meals with Tracy, tag along to the next one and see what happens. Suggest at that meal her Mum/Dad comes along to the next one and get it booked in... see how quick she is find an excuse to avoid...

Similar happened to my PIL. The 'friend' was the ex-girlfriend of an old neighbour of there's and she latched onto PIL with gusto. Her child would use the computer for homework, get looked after whilst mum had work or run errands (when they never offered to sit for grandchildren!!), get cooked meals etc. All nicey nicey. Then FIL died and she didn't get anything from his will, she took off, never to be seen again thank god! My DH and his siblings made things very awkward whenever they turned up to see MIL and she would be there. She was made to feel very unwanted so soon buggered off.

Does she look like anyone in the family? Could she be a relative who was adopted and has now turned up? The adding to the will is very odd.

OP. If you have any conversations with this woman try and record them, so if she does try and twist things you have proof of what was said. There was a case a few years ago of an elderly man being 'befriended' in this way,who was eventually murdered by the so called befriended, who had been poisoning him for months beforehand. I know there are 2 people involved here and they are not elderly, but you can't be too careful.