Parents new “friend”

[Itllbealrightonthenight]

I feel uncomfortable about my parents new friend, let’s call her Tracey.
My parents are in their early 60’s, both retired and have plenty of friends and family around them. Almost overnight this Tracey has become part of their everyday lives. Tracey is 26 and according to her, has crappy parents which is why my parents have taken her under their wing. She drives to their house for dinner several nights a week, goes shopping with them, goes to the gym with Dad 3 times a week. I met Tracey for the first time recently and she was pleasant enough but dismissive of me and made no effort to get to know me. I made a conscious effort to get to know her and make her feel welcome - because my parents have grown close to her. But she wasn’t interested and actually made me feel like the stranger in the situation. To my shock she repeatedly called my parents Mum and Dad. That made me feel really uncomfortable around her and I’m suspicious of how quickly she has formed this deep bond with my parents. I can’t help but question her motives. My parents have accepted her life story as she tells it- a neglected child. But the reality is she’s 26, an adult and my parents don’t actually know her yet. She lives with her Dad who she says isn’t supportive. Her mother is elsewhere and she too doesn’t have a good relationship with her. Apparently.
Im suspicious about her intentions and also peed off that she and my parents have totally disrespected me by allowing her to call them Mum and Dad. They’ve known eachother for 6 months!
Thoughts?

Perhaps she is the daughter of one of them and they just haven't told you.

I reckon people who do know her will be the ones to talk to. You’ll probably find there’s some really dodgy stuff about her that she won’t want you finding out. How has someone that age got no friends her own age? Why is she seeking out people old enough to be her parents to hang out with? She’s probably a fantasist.

😂

You need to nip this in the bud OP because she sounds like a very smooth operator.
Try and be friends with her for the sole purpose of getting a group photo or take your daughter round who is taking constant photos for school photo. Once you've got a photo you can use it to do a reverse search and/or contact the police.
You need to stay on the good side of your parents though. I don't doubt she will try and drive a wedge to isolate them.

IMO the your parents changing their will to accommodate her is really, really bizarre. In fact it's the weirdest thing about this situation. As is them telling your daughter that's what they plan to do.

@TokyoSushi

Hello there,

would you be comfortable sharing more details?

Report her to the local police. Give them as many details as you can as it smells like fraud to me.
Meet Tracey's father and find out about her mental health or illnesses.

Invite your parents over to stay for few days to break the habit of seeing Tracey so that they can have times with a clear brain..

Why do you want people to share more details?

Oh yes, I've just seen that. Is this another made up thread OP?There's been so many recently. I really don't understand why people do it 🙄

Really good advice here.

I agree. None of that is 'normal'.

My 23 year old daughter met her at the same time as me. Tracey was very flirty with my daughter which made her feel uncomfortable. My daughter told me yesterday that Grandad said he’s changing his will to include Tracey! She also said won’t be spending time with Nanny and Grandad if Tracey is there.

With your daughter’s permission, I would approach it with your parents from this angle. “Look Mum and Dad, I know you like Tracey a lot and feel sorry for her. I’ve told you I’m not comfortable with her calling you Mum and Dad, but in the end that’s up to you. But I’m not having her making my daughter - your granddaughter - feel uncomfortable. If she’s really trying to say she thinks of you as surrogate parents, isn’t it REALLY inappropriate to be flirting with your actual granddaughter? I really think you need to keep an eye on Tracey’s behaviour, and if you’re expecting us to treat her like part of the family, I cannot have my daughter being made to feel like she can’t visit you. Because that’s what’s happening right now”.

It’s worth a try. Your parents probably feel like you’re fairly settled and poor Tracey is lonely and has had a tough time; therefore you should cut her some slack. If they can see their granddaughter - who they are likely to feel protective towards, and who has no agenda - is unhappy, they might think twice.

I read it as she was just asking someone who said they had a similar experience to share what happened? What am I missing?

I would do this. Sounds like she's well on her way to scamming them. Awful. Keep an eye out. Your dad sounds vulnerable if he's ready to change a will.

I would also let her know you are on to her. I would visit more to keep an eye on things and ask her, Haven’t you got your own home to go to? Why are you calling my parents mum and dad? Don’t be shy, be direct!

I would also talk to both your parents about the will. Maybe Tracy is working on your father more than your mother. Make her aware.

How? She was asking someone who replied?

How is asking for details making the op look suspicious?

also the school holidays comments. Are people suggesting the op is a teenager? Not likely is it?

I'm gonna go against the grain here and say that sometimes relationships like this can develop and be perfectly wholesome. Although I agree there are some red flags in your example (calling them mam and dad) and it's unfortunate that you get a bad vibe from her.

My parents befriended someone in their 20s who they met randomly several years ago and he became like a surrogate son to my dad especially. Seeing them regularly, even coming on our family holidays. My dad also wrote him into his will! Which I was absolutely fine with because the surrogate son definitely spent more on my dad than the amount in the will was worth (nice Christmas gifts, trains to see him when he moved away) and he helped care for him when he was terminally ill. He also really didn't want to take the money when he found out about it.

I know it sounds crazy. I was suspicious too initially and found it hard to adjust to someone new being this close to my parents. But it actually turned into a really lovely relationship that brought joy to my parents and was really valuable during the difficult times.

Absolutely be cautious but I just wanted to share an example that turned out to not be anything sinister at all.

Tracey sounds like a confidence trickster. I'm especially concerned to hear that your dad is changing his will to include her.

I would actually contact the police now. It could be she is already on their radar. They might just fob you off but you have nothing to lose by contacting them.

You say your parents aren't vulnerable. I was diagnosed as autistic about 2 years ago and the psychologists who disgnoses me said i was vulnerable to abuse because my ability to understand body language, facial expressions, social cues etc is very poor. Any chance that your parents could be similar? I don't think any of my friends or family would describe me as vulnerable and to be honest nor would I have done, except I now understand what the psychologists were talking about and they were right .

Someone else asked for more details in a way that suggested they are a reporter

Reported

smells funny

Except that, if true, it's the red flags that change it from being a potentially benign situation to one that isn't.

What in the same way as dirty old men pretend to be teenagers to befriend children online? You can say you are anyone online.

My daughter told me yesterday that Grandad said he’s changing his will to include Tracey!

and you did what about this exactly?