Parents new “friend”

[Itllbealrightonthenight]

I feel uncomfortable about my parents new friend, let’s call her Tracey.
My parents are in their early 60’s, both retired and have plenty of friends and family around them. Almost overnight this Tracey has become part of their everyday lives. Tracey is 26 and according to her, has crappy parents which is why my parents have taken her under their wing. She drives to their house for dinner several nights a week, goes shopping with them, goes to the gym with Dad 3 times a week. I met Tracey for the first time recently and she was pleasant enough but dismissive of me and made no effort to get to know me. I made a conscious effort to get to know her and make her feel welcome - because my parents have grown close to her. But she wasn’t interested and actually made me feel like the stranger in the situation. To my shock she repeatedly called my parents Mum and Dad. That made me feel really uncomfortable around her and I’m suspicious of how quickly she has formed this deep bond with my parents. I can’t help but question her motives. My parents have accepted her life story as she tells it- a neglected child. But the reality is she’s 26, an adult and my parents don’t actually know her yet. She lives with her Dad who she says isn’t supportive. Her mother is elsewhere and she too doesn’t have a good relationship with her. Apparently.
Im suspicious about her intentions and also peed off that she and my parents have totally disrespected me by allowing her to call them Mum and Dad. They’ve known eachother for 6 months!
Thoughts?

@celandiney I mentioned what I’d read in another user’s earlier comment which I happen to agree with. If someone’s taking advantage they need to be caught. You are entitled to your own opinion.

Con woman, get rid.

Have you googled her name?

Found her social media?

I would be extremely suspicious of her motives and the fact she calls your parents mum and dad is awful especially after only six months!

She's got her feet under the door and sounds like a master manipulator.

You are absolutely right to be suspicious. This is entirely inappropriate. I wouldn't be a bit surprised if she ends up accepting money. She sounds as if she could be dangerous IMHO.

Wow! So your dad really is changing his will to include her. After how long has he known her exactly? Weeks? Months? Years?

Oh dear, this brings my late mum's situation back to me. My DM had early stage dementia when she suddenly changed to a freelance hairdresser. DM was drawing a lot of money out of the bank and it was all going. I had to be careful as she was touchy about any questioning of her finances as she was terrible with money and I had already had to sort matters out for her. I made a point of calling in when hairdresser was there and she was very unfriendly toward me. Next thing her daughter was working for my DM as a cleaner and it was pretty obvious by the state of the house no cleaning was being done.

I queried it and my mum defended her saying she only had time to do half the house on each call. It was a tiny cottage.

Next, my DM had photos of the daughter put up in a frame in her living room. Finally, I received a phone call from the Manager at my DM's Bank. Rightly or wrongly, he told me he was very worried about mum and that she had drawn out £400 that week alone. I called round and they were both there. The daughter cleared off very quickly without even saying hello. I went and looked at where mum kept her money and every penny had gone. She didn't even have any food in.

Sadly my mum fell out with me. She was completely taken in and my interference as she saw it was out of order and she told me to leave her house and not come back.

I did ring social services but they were unhelpful. As mum had some homecare, they felt their workers may take the blame or indeed be involved. Money only went missing once the hairdresser and her dd began to call round, never once before. Just be warned op, it did lead to a breakdown in my relationship with my mum. There are red flags all over this one.

I think you jumped the shark with the whole flirting with your daughter stuff.

OP, perhaps she was flirting with your daughter on purpose to make her feel uncomfortable. She could well be trying to put her off calling round to see her Grandparents.

One doesn’t have to show “any sign of cognitive decline” to be taken in by a scammer.
Sheezus. Why is cognitive decline the first thing people go to in these threads?

Who is driving this Op?

Do they invite her for dinner & on shopping trips?

People can lose capacity unexpectedly at any age - car accident, stroke etc
Everyone can arrange a poa - you don't implement it until you need to

I would look for a private detective. Who is her mother, her father, her past, her childhood, how long as she attended the gym.
Previous gf, bfs.
School etc

Because it doesn't sound like a normal scam to me. Who accepts someone calling them Mum if they are not

This is soooo weird!!! I’d have to be honest with my parents!

Happened to a friend of my mum. The young friend was helping with shopping, often dropping in a £70 pair of trainers that his DD needed for school and friend would pay. Taking their card to pay for a parcel - and getting £300 cash out at the same time ... was in the will, changed we think by him - luckily (?) it had the wrong date of birth so it didn't stand.

I think there's probably some truth to the above.

This sounds like the Liane Moriarty novel Apples Never Fall.

Im...also peed off that she and my parents have totally disrespected me by allowing her to call them Mum and Dad.

I would be very watchful and keep your own boundaries, but I absolutely would not indulge this line of thinking out loud. It's not going to get you anywhere with you parents (for good reason), and will make it more likely that your genuine, rational concerns are dismissed.

THIS
It happens more often than most would believe. They are con artists, and they know exactly what to say and how to worm into an older couple's life. Little by little, they say enough to get the older couple feeling they need to "take care" of the con artist.
Usually, it is first the frequent visits and the getting close by calling the couple either a special name, Aunt and Uncle or Mom and Dad. Next comes borrowing just a touch of money and while they are doing this, they start to work at causing doubt about the couple's children. If they are good, they will have gotten the older couple to start feeling some anger towards their children, for whatever reason the con artist has prodded into them.

Next comes the "I have grown so close to you, I don't know what I would do if anything happened to you two!". Following that is, "If anything happened to you two, I wouldn't have anyone to visit, to give me a meal or help me out. You are closer to my heart than my birth family. I am so glad we got to choose each other as our family. That's much better than a birth family because we chose each other!"
Meanwhile, they still try to get the birth children further removed from the older couple's life. They continue to borrow money for "essentials". If they see something in the home that is worth money, they will make sure the older couple knows how treasured the con artist feels about the item.

They know what they are doing and have spent time perfecting their craft. Sometimes, it's a total stranger than does this con and sometimes, it's a shirt-tail relative, but the ending they desire is the same.

Usually, the older couple will not believe they are being taken for a ride, and it can cause family rifts and estrangements.

You might now like my advice, but I would be immediately confronting my own parents with harsh words about all this and shaming Tracey publicly, calling her gold digger.

Be aware that she already has her food bill shortened in half by eating at your parents and when they do shopping, they buy her more things also.

I do not expect reserved English people to understand where I am coming from but in my country this would be a massive No, public shame on the intruder, if calls to the police be needed, they would be done, if not, a call to your strong muscular nephew or brother if you have some of those and more male relatives seeing your parents regularly and being present at these dinners. Just few of these actions will divert Tracey and make her run for the hills.

This reads.like a creative writing exercise 😆

She’s after one thing ………money

I think I’d be really tempted to take her to one side and ask what her game is and tell her it’s weird. She’d probably go crying to them that you were being mean though.

Talking to your parents individually might be good, and definitely getting your sibling involved.

There is truth in this, also: usually the women suffer from such intruders. When the man is still alive, that poses a difficulty. The poster's brother should be the tough guy here and his parents should be listening to him but apparently the father takes the decisions

Or maybe the OPs parents are Sex People!