ive not changed the name, as i'm expecting as much of a beating on this post as i got on my last one.
on the last post i missed an important fact on purpose because it bore no relevance to the topic.
my DH and i have 6 children between us, he has 4 and i have 2, so for those doing the math, the DS referred too in my last post is actually DSS. i mention it now as it will answer questions i know i will get. Just to clarify, we don't use the term step children. my children are his children, his children are mine, they are all treated equally. when 1 gets married they receive a cash gift, this gift is the same amount irrespective, when babies came, the same, sex reveal parties, the same, baby showers.. i'm sure you get the idea! All the children know that should they decide on any of the above, that cash gift is there for them. when birthdays come round, they all get a small cash gift, both them and their partners. this gift is not a lot, a token, enough for a meal out as they are adults and its more the gesture than anything else.
I go to church, church has a big impact on my life and has done for many years. my DD's were baptised by their grandfather, and their dads side of the family all hold religious office of one kind or another. my DD's both went to church until they chose not too. it was and is never forced on them and i respect their choices. DH and his children never set foot in a churh in their lives, and were all adults when i came into their lives. They know i have faith and respect that but its not for them which is totally fine.
My DD wants to have baby baptised, even though they themselves no longer attend church, they know how important this is to me and their dads side of the family so therefore its all booked. On this occasion, as the church is only important to me and not to my DH who absolutely does not do the whole church thing I am giving the cash gift on this occasion. The same rule applies, should any of the DC decide to have their babies baptised, then they will receive this gift. I need to make this clear, as i know some will come for me about this, there is zero pressure for the GC to be baptised, its a choice the parents need to make for their children themselves.
Of course you knew there would be a but. DS and DIL are unhappy, they have no plans to baptise their son, but why should they not receive a cash gift just becuase they are not having their baby baptised, and that we should therefore give them a cash gift for their babies 1st birthday party instead! We have pointed out that 3 of our other children have chosen not to marry (yet if at all) and they can't claim their wedding gift based on this, so no, on this occasion!
We do not believe that 1st birthday parties are something we should be paying for, for any of our GC, thats the parents responsibility. We will of course be giving a gift to the baby, what grandparent wouldn't. But if we give cash on this occasion, then in fairness we have to give to all.
AIBU?