Snoring on hospital ward

[ffssssssssssss]

Night three in hospital with 1 yr old DC who's recovering from a serious 12 hour surgery (and obviously needs as much rest as they can).

4 bays to this ward, other families fine, fairly considerate, one listens to the radio all day which is a bit annoying but what can you do.

New family (2 parents + baby) arrives this evening at 10pm, their child sounds 2-3. All have very loud conversations with each other despite being surrounded by sleeping babies (eldest on the ward is about 7). All wake up.

They order a Deliveroo which is delivered at midnight. Noisily eat it in their bay (there's a v nice family room down the hallway).

Dad of the family has been snoring like a freight train for the last hour, has woken my DC up 3 times. Ironically my baby's cries aren't waking up snorer.

Can hear mum moving about next to him and not doing a thing about the vibrations coming from her partner (I'd be kicking my husband).

Ward policy is one parent only over night 😒 would have loved DH's help when I was here post op with my baby.

After the third wake up I went to the nurses station and told they can't help snoring - not even having a word. But it was 'situational' that two parents were sleeping in the bay and it wouldn't happen again.

Can't work out if I'm overreacting because I've had 4 hours sleep the last two nights. AIBU if you know you snore you do something about it if you're spending the night on a ward with very sick kids? Or, you know, just follow hospital policy and let your wife take the shift? Please let me know before I club this man with a bed pan.

(Before you suggest ear plugs, I don't want to wear any because I want to be aware of the noises DC is making/be there if he wakes up)

I had a similar experience OP. A dad was lying starfish in the kids bed keeping the whole ward awake, the kid curled around him. Every other parent was on a recliner chair. I can vouch that he was not tending to a sick kid at all as he didn't shut up snoring and I also known he wasn't a long timer who was overcome with exhaustion as he arrived only that evening a few hours earlier. I have never felt angrier with another human, the nurse woke him at my request and he just went back to sleep without changing position, even I know sleeping on your back encourages snoring. Everyone was exhausted and upset, thank god it was only one night.

Rest and sleep is really important for patients of all ages. NHS Hospitals don't seem to view it as important though. Funnily enough it's not like this in private hospitals. Ditto good nutrition.

YANBU Op & I'd have gone ballistic (in a quietly seething way!) & woken him up every time he snored as your DCs ability to rest & recover far outweighs another adult's sleep!

It's a pity there aren't strict matrons around anymore to sort this stuff out.

They do sound highly inconsiderate and I fully understand the rage that having no sleep in hospital induces. On a practical note, white noise really helped me when overnight with my baby in hospital.

If you read the OP’s first post properly, she’s questioning why both parents are staying overnight when the rules are only one parent should stay.

Had the disruptive parents followed the rules, at the very least there wouldn’t have been any loud conversations between them when everyone is trying to sleep. Also, most likely the snoring parent would have been the one who would have gone home overnight.

The woman I was next to on the induction ward when I had my daughter was on another level, calling her man at 3am to chat, loudly as well. I would wake up to hearing "Nothings happening in here Darren, it's well boring I can't even sleep" yeah and now neither can anyone else you loud mouth 😂😂 nobody said anything to her though because she was a bit scary 🤣 she was outside smoking morning noon and night with a dressing gown on that said daddy's slut on the back so I mean. You don't mess with crazy people.

And I'll never forget her unborn sons name, because she screeched it down the phone to someone umpteen times because they weren't quite catching it correctly, "No not Keiran you dim bitch it's KAIDEN-BLUE"

ffssssssssssss, he probably got it both barrells at home!!!

You have to wear ear plugs and know that if your child needs you, you’ll be in a light sleep and just know. Many wards have dementia sufferers on, people eating at all times of day, crying, sobbing, cardiac issues in the night, name it. So yes, yabu to expect to sleep without earplugs.

@BurbageBrook exactly this.

I honestly wouldn't have given a fig how many parents stayed at the bedside - there could have been eight of them! - had they kept things down. It was the loud chatting and noisy/smelly eating between 10pm and 12am which was so disrespectful. Have respect for the sick children around you, whether that's 1 or 11 of you.

We came from the PICU ourselves (brain surgery, hence my sensitivity to my child being woken up with noise) and from my understanding this family were discharged 24 hours after being admitted (don't know the ins and outs of their case but they were fairly vocal behind the curtain).

Unfortunately we need close monitoring so private room not an option

We should be allowed home tomorrow though.

I maintain that if you snore like a warthog you'll be aware of that and should at least try to mitigate to lessen the affect of your noise on poorly children. And if you also all night, disrupting the kids around you, fgs don't go at it again during their precious day time naps.

We were in for brain surgery too (and likewise a private room not suitable!). It sounds like you're little one has bounced back really quickly with a quick discharge, which I'm really pleased for you. My child had every complication under the sun and it felt like we were in an eternity.

Neurosurgery for kids is a hell of a journey though. I hope you are all ok (you included, it's so stressful).

Snoring is generally caused (or at the least, worsened considerably) by being very overweight. So that’s SOMETHING he could do to reduce / stop it (for those saying he couldn’t help snoring).

I was on a coach tour abroad last year where a morbidly obese man and his family got on. The man was asleep within about five minutes and you could hear him at the back of the bus with the engine on. He stayed snoring until his wife shoved him when we’d got to the drop off point, about an hour later. He then did it on the trip back to the hotel.

How the hell she put up with it I’ll never know. It was horrifically loud. If it had been in a (previously) quiet hospital ward, where my very sick child was trying to rest, I would have been hard pressed not to smother him.

Bless you, it's a very stressful time for you. I'm writing this in bed with my little pug snoring his head off but somehow it doesn't bother me. Hope things get better soon. x

Sorry but no. People snore for many different reasons and alot of the reasons arnt fixable in the short term. Some reasons arnt even fixable.
Hospitals are noisy places with beeping sounds, low lights, coughing, snoring etc. It's the norm.
You seem very entitled tho. These other babies and kids have maybe just had a a bigger operation than yours. They all need rest.

when I had to stay over with my son when he was in hospital I purposefully did not fall asleep as I knew i snored really loud and did not want to wake any of the kids including my DS. I then went home and had a nap when DH took over and then did the same the next night. The night after that DH stayed and he did the same because he snores.

We both didn’t want to disturb sick children some of which were recovering from surgery

There is a visitors room they can use to eat in.
So inconsiderate to be eating takeaway food on a ward with sick patients where some may already be suffering nausea and are on anti sickness meds. Imagine the distress that would cause.
I’m surprised the nursing staff didn’t raise this with them.

It’s possible the “ situation” could have been these people going on a strop to get their own way. The entitled me me me phenomenon.
The sort of people who shout in order to intimidate.

Yes, they have a sick child but what about the rest of the ward full of sick kids and their already stressed parents ? And the loud talking when patients are sleeping ? How selfish.

@Fluffypuppy1 if you read my response you'll see I wasn't referring to the OP but a PP.

So how have you linked their behaviour to council housing?

Jesus…. You’ve had no sleep, I’d be feeling stabby too. They sound like twats. Are there any private rooms? I complained about snoring and rustling of food packets and got moved.

Hope you get to go home soon.

Private rooms are for those with infectious diseases and viruses, not for those who want a good night's sleep.
The NHS doesn't do privacy 😁

Yes they do! It was NHS. Wales if that makes any difference, not saying they all do I don’t know. Worth a try innit.

Infectious diseases lol

@RickyGervaislovesdogs Which hospital in Wales provides private rooms to parents of patients who want a good night's sleep?

Genuinely curious.

I've been in hospitals for a lot of my life, both as a patient and parent of a patient.
I've been in side rooms at times, 99% of the time when it was for infection control but once or twice just because that was the only available bed, but I was moved within a day or two to a standard bed as the bed was needed for someone who needed to be separated.

The OPs child is in a neurosurgery ward - you can't have a private room as the kids need too much monitoring for that. When we were on neurosurgery for a couple of months we weren't even allowed the curtains pulled (except briefly for getting changed etc) because they needed to be able to see everyone. The kids are too ill for privacy. It was also staffed to the hilt - at least 2 nurses and 1/2 HCA's for 6 kids.

@Somuchgoo Totally agree. I was explaining to pp that OP wouldn't just have access to a private room like that

A 'situation' with people being that inconsiderate definitely means that staff were afraid of shitty behaviour if they tried to chuck a parent out.