Snoring on hospital ward

[ffssssssssssss]

Night three in hospital with 1 yr old DC who's recovering from a serious 12 hour surgery (and obviously needs as much rest as they can).

4 bays to this ward, other families fine, fairly considerate, one listens to the radio all day which is a bit annoying but what can you do.

New family (2 parents + baby) arrives this evening at 10pm, their child sounds 2-3. All have very loud conversations with each other despite being surrounded by sleeping babies (eldest on the ward is about 7). All wake up.

They order a Deliveroo which is delivered at midnight. Noisily eat it in their bay (there's a v nice family room down the hallway).

Dad of the family has been snoring like a freight train for the last hour, has woken my DC up 3 times. Ironically my baby's cries aren't waking up snorer.

Can hear mum moving about next to him and not doing a thing about the vibrations coming from her partner (I'd be kicking my husband).

Ward policy is one parent only over night 😒 would have loved DH's help when I was here post op with my baby.

After the third wake up I went to the nurses station and told they can't help snoring - not even having a word. But it was 'situational' that two parents were sleeping in the bay and it wouldn't happen again.

Can't work out if I'm overreacting because I've had 4 hours sleep the last two nights. AIBU if you know you snore you do something about it if you're spending the night on a ward with very sick kids? Or, you know, just follow hospital policy and let your wife take the shift? Please let me know before I club this man with a bed pan.

(Before you suggest ear plugs, I don't want to wear any because I want to be aware of the noises DC is making/be there if he wakes up)

Oh yes @seedsandseeds it's so self centred of OP to stick to the rules and expect others to stick to them, too 🙄

I'm 52. No parents stayed when I was in at the age of 6 or 7. So hardly the 50s - that was my mother's childhood years

Did you only have the one child? As I'm struggling to see how that works if you have another to look after.

I had hassle from the nurses when DD1 was admitted " for observation" They were insisting I stayed but they weren't allowing me to bring DD2 who was very young and breastfed. Like seriously I wonder how they expected to split myself in 2

Which rules sorry?

@seedsandseeds the rule about only one parent allowed to be with the child

It’s really tough being in hospital with dc. He can’t help snoring though but I do feel for you.

Nope. I didn't comment on that. The nurses said there was a reason for that.

Next.

How are fast food deliveries even getting access to a ward in the middle of the night?

They mostly deliver outside the hospital, parent picks it up and brings it to the ward. That's what they do with me anyway.

@seedsandseeds yep the 'reason' was the family were chavvy and skanky

It reminds me of the matron in 'Boy' who shaved soap into the mouth of a child at his school, who was snoring. Kind of tempting if you could avoid being knifed or something.

Sadly, their antisocial behaviour makes them sound like the kind of people that would have 'connections' you wouldn't want to mess with. I have no advice short of looking forward to the day your child is discharged, or just putting more faith in the hospital staff. If anything happens that's serious, they would wake you. Be a tiny bit more selfish or you'll endanger your child through not taking care of yourself enough.

Do you know them?

😆ummm what???

You have my sympathies. When I did a 2m stint with my child most parents were courteous but I'll never forgot the REALLY LOUD snoring dad. His child was thankfully only in one night, but he kept everyone else awake. I remember eating biscuits at 3am with another mum, just so frustrated. And no, it wasn't his fault exactly but putting cbeebies on loudly at 6am when the other kids were still asleep was.

Re single rooms - sometimes there's not practical. We were 6 to a room because there need to be a nurse present at all times. They weren't even allowed to leave the room unattended for 30, seconds. These were very sick kids that need that level of nursing. We merely missed needing to be in isolation at one point, but if we had, a nurse would have stayed on our single room as of child had to be within sight of a nurse at all times. Single rooms aren't always practical for very sick kids.

When we were in, I was miffed that both parents were able to stay for one child. We weren't allowed this even when things were really rough when we were admitted. But we later discovered that it was for a newborn baby that was unlikely to live and mum needed that support. They made the right decision though it was hard to see at the time.

Giving the poorly in the OP the benefit of the doubt, maybe this was their first admission and they didn't know whether the parents room was or ward etiquette. Or maybe they were just awful people. Who knows. If they were only in one night then it doesn't sound like things are so grim both parents need to be there in any event.

That’s a good point on not knowing where the parents room is, on many occasions staff have asked me to show other parents the parents room and other bits because they simply don’t have the time.

On DS first admission the ward also very much relaxed the visiting rules to allow my Mum to also be about because of how ill DS was.

Maybe the child with the snoring Dad was moved to PICU. Both parents might have been there because the child was so unwell that they needed each other for support.

I hope your baby gets better and is allowed home very soon OP.

Stop make excuses for the man's rude behaviour @Jimmyspiano.
He's just self-centred and his wife is probably too terrified of him to wake him up.

I was not excusing the man's behaviour. I was just pointing out that the fact that they moved does not necessarily mean the child has been discharged.

@Jimmyspiano erm from what OP has said her little one has been really unwell, too. She could have probably done with having her DH there for support but couldn't as she wasn't allowed.

Why are some parents allowed to both be there to support each other but others aren't?

My eldest son was allowed both parents to stay with him when he was diagnosed with a condition that is not compatible with life and was in PICU. Fortunately he had a complete repair, and I stayed in hospital alone with him when he only needed HDU or ward care. I was just sharing my experience of the situations where both parents or only one parent is needed. Obviously I have no idea what type of care any of the children involved in OP's situation require.

Not downplaying what OP is going though at all but there are different levels of really unwell.

the first time ds was in rules were bent because he was “has he been christened” ill. He has been “very ill” since but thankfully not that very ill.

it’s shit being in hospital with a poorly child no matter what and everyone is generally doing what is needed to survive. Yes some people are rude (and the people in the OP sound like they fall into that category) but everyone is stressed.

@PenelopeHofstadter Do you know the parents?

I was staying in the hospital with my child for a few nights.

It was also a 4 bed bay and the child opposite us who was about 7 snored so loudly I actually thought it was one of the parents.

Very frustrating as my child couldn’t sleep with the noise yet we couldn’t complain.

You really dont get any restful sleep in hospital unless you are in a private room & even then theres still a lot of noise.

Hope you got home soon and your child makes a full recovery.

@seedsandseeds Nope! Do you? As you seem to be excusing their skanky selfish behaviour

I'd be team club him with a bedpan, OP.

💐to all of you with kiddos in hospital.