Snoring on hospital ward

[ffssssssssssss]

Night three in hospital with 1 yr old DC who's recovering from a serious 12 hour surgery (and obviously needs as much rest as they can).

4 bays to this ward, other families fine, fairly considerate, one listens to the radio all day which is a bit annoying but what can you do.

New family (2 parents + baby) arrives this evening at 10pm, their child sounds 2-3. All have very loud conversations with each other despite being surrounded by sleeping babies (eldest on the ward is about 7). All wake up.

They order a Deliveroo which is delivered at midnight. Noisily eat it in their bay (there's a v nice family room down the hallway).

Dad of the family has been snoring like a freight train for the last hour, has woken my DC up 3 times. Ironically my baby's cries aren't waking up snorer.

Can hear mum moving about next to him and not doing a thing about the vibrations coming from her partner (I'd be kicking my husband).

Ward policy is one parent only over night 😒 would have loved DH's help when I was here post op with my baby.

After the third wake up I went to the nurses station and told they can't help snoring - not even having a word. But it was 'situational' that two parents were sleeping in the bay and it wouldn't happen again.

Can't work out if I'm overreacting because I've had 4 hours sleep the last two nights. AIBU if you know you snore you do something about it if you're spending the night on a ward with very sick kids? Or, you know, just follow hospital policy and let your wife take the shift? Please let me know before I club this man with a bed pan.

(Before you suggest ear plugs, I don't want to wear any because I want to be aware of the noises DC is making/be there if he wakes up)

I’ve been in hospital with a sick child and as someone else has said ‘hell is other people’. I can still remember another patient’s older brother crunching away eating something loudly after lights out. But then again I also ate in the bay because I had quickly run to WH Smith to get something to eat and didn’t want to leave my child any longer than I had to.

Some of the things you’ve described are in the other parents control and some are not. I was in with an older child but many of the other patients were babies who cried a lot.

I think YANBU to feel annoyed. And tiredness plays a massive part in tolerance too. But everyone is trying to muddle through when they have a sick child and we probably all annoy each other.

YANBU. Ordering a deliveroo is inconsiderate. Eat it somewhere else. Everyone else has sick children but don't act like entitled knobs. When I've been on a ward in the middle of the night I'm conscious of the other patients and the fact that its the middle of the night.

They were admitted at 10pm so my guess is they got special permission to both stay over as it was so late, you don't know the circumstances, it might have been a transfer from a smaller hospital a long distance away. The food again was probably down to admission time though is a bit thoughtless and some people snore, yabu to complain about that.

Yanbu

The issue is eating KFC in a hospital where there’s very sick people - people can eat what they want but not on the ward!

I had to ask a group of selfish shits to stop eating stinking takeaway food in the ward were my mum lay dying of cancer. The stink was increasing her nausea.

There’s a reason why it’s against the rules to eat takeaway food on a ward. Surprisingly, it’s nothing to do with the social class of the family- it’s to protect sick people.

YANBU op, we had a six month stay with our youngest followed by other lengthy stays over the years and there's lots of people like this, completely inconsiderate and think they deserve special treatment/don't have to follow the rules and they irritate the whole ward.

I hope you get to go home soon.

If they've just been admitted they wouldn't know about the parents room etc.

I agree one parent should have left after settling in their child and only left one over night.

Unfortunately adults snore. You'll have to hope the dad doesn't stay tonight.

I hope your DC is on the mend and home soon.

Gosh that sounds rough. You must have seen it all. Sending warm thoughts to you and hope you are having much fewer hospital stays now

Have you ever been on a train when someone is eating kfc/mcdonalds? The smell CARRIES. I ate a sandwich my first night on the ward because I didn't want to a) stink up the place or b) make a noise with rustling. It's just about being considerate and aware there are other people who need to heal. Lots of these kids are on cocktails or drugs and as PPs have said, they feel nauseous enough without takeaway smells

DH came to relieve me so I can take a break and shower, he's just texted me saying the snorer is back to sleep and at it again. He says it sounds incredibly unhealthy and like nothing he's ever heard before 😂 glad I wasn't over reacting at the volume though in the cold light of day understand it's not something he can help (though he should probably get it checked out).

Can't believe he's sleeping again though. I got about three hours last night and from what I heard he slept solidly from 12.30am - 7am

this!

Well sometimes snoring can be helped by losing weight for a start.
Snoring can be a symptom of sleep apnea which is a danger to health.

I don't think YABU. Kids in hospital is stressful and not having privacy must be awful. It's a one parent rule for a reason and I bet the nurses just don't want to cause a scene. When my DS was in we had a private room and bathroom (NHS hospital) and it was the only way I didn't go completely insane over 10 days. You have my sympathy, I hope your stay is short

You don't know what situation they are up against, or what news they have had.zThe staff know everyone's circumstances better than you do and it's up to them to intervene if they judge it is appropriate.

@mm81736 well the OP and her child aren't in there for a holiday?! Or don't they deserve consideration? Is it just entitled dregs of society that deserve consideration and pandering?

The snoring while annoying can't be helped. The other noise and smelly food is rude and inconsiderate. Everyone there has a "poorly child" so it doesn't hurt to employ some decency.

Why are British hospitals so shitty and depressing? No one can get better four to a room. And it must allow disease to spread like wildfire.

It's further punishment on top of being unwell!

Sounds awful OP - shitty inconsiderate behaviour but then expected from the type of people who order KFC from Deliveroo.

Why do parents stay with their children in hospital unless it's 100's of miles away from their home for a specific specialism? Surely that's why the staff are there. I know when I was hospitalised both as a baby and a young child for many weeks, no parents were allowed to stay.

These days it seems they have to! Sounds like torture.

100% you're not being unreasonable. Why is everyone overlooking the shitty behaviour?? There are sick children on that ward who need quiet and rest. Op hasn't slept in days. Why the hell is he even there with his partner if he's just sleeping/snoring? He could have went to the day room and had a kip. The food I would give them this one time as they were probably starved but if it's repeated I'd be going to the nurses again. Actually I'd probably go straight to the matron today to complain/ get it in place that it shouldnt be repeated tonight. I don't get why everyone is saying snoring can't be helped, he could go snore somewhere else as his sleep is not the priority.

I couldn't really give a shit about being able to smell someone's KFC. In fact, I'd probably rather smell that than pretty much any hospital food I've ever been served.

YES snoring can't be helped but why did the wife not do anything about it?

Well, you've answered your own question - because it can't be helped. Not everyone can stop snoring just by 'flipping over' and she's probably reluctant to wake up her partner if he was finally getting some much-needed sleep while their child was in hospital.

In terms of loud conversation etc, yes, people should try to be more considerate. But ultimately, hospitals are always noisy places, even on wards with no visitors, and the families of patients are generally so focused on their own loved one that they simply don't really think much about other people. Everyone is tired and stressed and hungry, and nobody really knows each other's circumstances or how long they've been awake or when they last had something to eat or what they've been through before the patient was admitted.

I completely understand why you're annoyed; I do get it. But I also think it's just part and parcel of having to spend a night in a hospital. And I would also add, gently, that everyone (and I mean everyone, including you!) who has ever spent a night in these circumstances thinks they are being much more quiet than they really are.

im The wife of a snorer and it’s the worst! I dispute the fact he “can’t help it”. I’ve never met a thin snorer. I absolutely hate it. Totally understand that he can’t fix it in the middle of the night. In which case tough tits for him! He doesn’t sleep or doesn’t sleep in the hospital ward. Why should his sleep matter above everyone else’s?!?

Of course you're not being unreasonable.

I hope your wee one (and the others on that ward) is home soon.

YABU.

Whenever dc is in hospital I will eat in the bay. Why would I go somewhere else? I'll also eat when I like. 2am, 3am.

Snoring can't be helped.

It's just the way hospital stays are and that's vice versa. Someone will disturb them, someone will disturb you.

Different children having different needs. I remember a nurse telling my to force dc3 to sleep one time. I told her where to go. She was having some tests Inc overnight.

You have monitors beeping, doctors coming around, lights, cries, and other things. Hospital stays are crap but they aren't obliged to change their behaviour for your comfort.