Snoring on hospital ward

[ffssssssssssss]

Night three in hospital with 1 yr old DC who's recovering from a serious 12 hour surgery (and obviously needs as much rest as they can).

4 bays to this ward, other families fine, fairly considerate, one listens to the radio all day which is a bit annoying but what can you do.

New family (2 parents + baby) arrives this evening at 10pm, their child sounds 2-3. All have very loud conversations with each other despite being surrounded by sleeping babies (eldest on the ward is about 7). All wake up.

They order a Deliveroo which is delivered at midnight. Noisily eat it in their bay (there's a v nice family room down the hallway).

Dad of the family has been snoring like a freight train for the last hour, has woken my DC up 3 times. Ironically my baby's cries aren't waking up snorer.

Can hear mum moving about next to him and not doing a thing about the vibrations coming from her partner (I'd be kicking my husband).

Ward policy is one parent only over night 😒 would have loved DH's help when I was here post op with my baby.

After the third wake up I went to the nurses station and told they can't help snoring - not even having a word. But it was 'situational' that two parents were sleeping in the bay and it wouldn't happen again.

Can't work out if I'm overreacting because I've had 4 hours sleep the last two nights. AIBU if you know you snore you do something about it if you're spending the night on a ward with very sick kids? Or, you know, just follow hospital policy and let your wife take the shift? Please let me know before I club this man with a bed pan.

(Before you suggest ear plugs, I don't want to wear any because I want to be aware of the noises DC is making/be there if he wakes up)

What's it got to do with you how much he's sleeping?

His snoring and what action he has or hasn't taken is none of your business either.

Can't imagine why a parent would want to be with their sick child.

Says more about your parents than it does about these.

Leaving your child unattended in a hospital is not ok. They need an advocate at all times.

not to mention that a child in the hospital is going to be scared and want their parent.

I'm with you OP th wife should just be there then the problem would be gone

I really think the whole concept of sharing wards has to go.

There seems to be no way for staff to be able to keep it peaceful enough to allow recovery.

We have been unfortunate enough to have had a child regularly in hospital. It’s exhausting and not just a mum’s job to be there. I’d have gone nuts if it was. That said I’m the snorer anyway.

You need to be there to advocate for your child, to get any info and often to care for your child. There is no warning when doctors appear, staff are too busy to ring and update and need the help with feeding, amusing and soothing. Most importantly children need you. I had a hospital stay alone in the 70s, it was awful and I still remember the feeling of fear, being abandoned and alone. Thankfully things have moved on.

@Cloudbust3r not necessarily the mums job but in this case it's the dad whose being ignorant

Overnights in hospital are unmitigatingly shit. You can’t help but find the behaviour of everyone else on the ward profoundly selfish and disruptive, because you’re all forced into unnatural proximity in a time of huge stress.

I hope your little one recovers soon. It must be a huge comfort to them to have you there, but the toll it takes on you is huge.

Thankfully never experienced being in hospital with any of my children but speaking from the experience of being on the maternity ward when they were born. Some things do grate. And I appreciate it's not the same because I wasn't stressed about the health of my child at at the time, but I had a couple opposite who were shouting because they had put her last name on the babies name band...

so like "baby Jones" and dad was kicking off at 1am when dads weren't even supposed to be on the ward still but he'd hidden himself, which in itself is weird. Shouting about "we agreed he's gonna be Mckay" are you trying to go behind my back and give him your name. It was unreal all the babies in the room where awake and crying, I don't think I was the only mum to press their buzzer but the midwife's came in and we all just looked at the crazy couple in the corner and after explaining it isn't his actual name (which it probably should be considering the dads mental) but just a way of matching babies to their mums he was asked to leave as he'd over stayed his welcome 😂 I couldn't believe they thought 1am in a dark hospital ward surrounded by newborns and freshly postpartum mothers was the place for a domestic

You know fuck all about my parents. My question was perfectly reasonable; your response was not.

Obviously things have changed since I was hospitalised as a child.

They definitely have @BotterMon I was in for eight weeks in 1988 and again in 1993. Due to the nature of my surgery I was in an adult ward even though I was 9 and 14. My mum was only allowed an hour a day. At 14 it was only a few weeks after my dad died but it made no difference.

I'm with you OP. I'm married to a snorer and if he ever does it in public he gets a swift nudge. If he was repeatedly doing it on a hospital ward I'd send him out.

It's a fairly recent thing parents staying in hospital. It was NOT ALLOWED when I was a kid

It’s not that recent. It’s 15 years since DS was first admitted and it was very much the norm then.

although it’s not compulsory and there will always be those who can’t stay wards very much depend on parents to provide care for the child day and night because they simply don’t have the staff.

The rule is one parent, why are they getting special treatment? Ask the nurses to move you to a side room or you’ll contact pals.

What do you want the wife to do? She has an admitted child as well. She is worried too. And tired. And two of them. Yes maybe not fair but you coukd be stuck with the father on his own. Not the mother.

Earplugs.

Hospital wards are a killer. We all know how it feels but try to realiseret that you are not the only vulnerable parent. All of you are.

Hungry parents? We have been told by nurses to starve or order food. And you don't always bring a packed lunch in an emergency.

Or the snoring dad ...

There could be a whole host of reasons that two parents were allowed for the night. Yes they should have kept the noise down but you can’t just threaten the ward to get a side room - they are given on medical need.

15 years in the history of hospitals is nothing.

But as I saw it was not allowed when I was a kid. So whoever made the snarky comment about a previous poster saying " says more about the parents not staying" is out of order

I really don't understand all the comments about him not being able to help it - he can, by going to the day room and having a sleep there!!
OP has already stated she doesn't want to wear earplugs so that she can hear her child.

I’m surprised at the number of comments saying that snoring can’t be helped. Why on earth they are prioritising the father getting a good nights sleep over literally everyone else on the ward including sick children getting any sleep is beyond me. Of course the nurses can say something, they need to explain that the snoring is waking the children on the ward, and that sleep is essential to their recovery. If he can’t sleep without snoring, he needs to keep himself awake with his phone and coffee

Struggling to see what “situation” means the father has to sleep/snore between midnight and 7:30 on the ward and not elsewhere.

I think the snoring is ok as it can't be helped, but they sound inconsiderate overall