Snoring on hospital ward

[ffssssssssssss]

Night three in hospital with 1 yr old DC who's recovering from a serious 12 hour surgery (and obviously needs as much rest as they can).

4 bays to this ward, other families fine, fairly considerate, one listens to the radio all day which is a bit annoying but what can you do.

New family (2 parents + baby) arrives this evening at 10pm, their child sounds 2-3. All have very loud conversations with each other despite being surrounded by sleeping babies (eldest on the ward is about 7). All wake up.

They order a Deliveroo which is delivered at midnight. Noisily eat it in their bay (there's a v nice family room down the hallway).

Dad of the family has been snoring like a freight train for the last hour, has woken my DC up 3 times. Ironically my baby's cries aren't waking up snorer.

Can hear mum moving about next to him and not doing a thing about the vibrations coming from her partner (I'd be kicking my husband).

Ward policy is one parent only over night 😒 would have loved DH's help when I was here post op with my baby.

After the third wake up I went to the nurses station and told they can't help snoring - not even having a word. But it was 'situational' that two parents were sleeping in the bay and it wouldn't happen again.

Can't work out if I'm overreacting because I've had 4 hours sleep the last two nights. AIBU if you know you snore you do something about it if you're spending the night on a ward with very sick kids? Or, you know, just follow hospital policy and let your wife take the shift? Please let me know before I club this man with a bed pan.

(Before you suggest ear plugs, I don't want to wear any because I want to be aware of the noises DC is making/be there if he wakes up)

Maybe you could sleepwalk and bump into him. If snoring is ok because it can’t be helped, surely sleepwalking is ok too as that can’t be helped

I get you completely.
I did a 4 month stint in a children's ward with my daughter.
Some similar things almost broke me .
Can you ask if there's a single room ?
Hope you get home soon it's hell on earth

@BotterMon Your "question" (if you want to call it that) was nothing more than nonsense.

I've been in hospital with my 8 year old son for almost 5 months now and yep, people are incredibly inconsiderate.

Most recently, I had the curtain around because my son has a stoma and it'd leaked so I was elbow deep in poo attempting to clean him and change his bag. A mother across the bay decided to casually open the curtain, walk in and was taking aback by his stoma and started asking questions about it. I snapped at her that the curtain was closed for a reason.

The worst was when he had to be nil by mouth for a while and parents kept loudly asking their children if the food was yummy, what did they want from McDonalds etc all whilst my son had to sit there and smell it, sobbing because he just wanted to eat. Him being on steroids made it much more difficult too.

I wonder about all these people saying you're being unreasonable ...I wonder how they'd feel in your situation.
It's a hospital- full of sick children sleeping - along comes the Brady bunch - carrying on as if they're at home, ordering take aways, eating the food, stinking the ward out and then dad falling asleep and snoring like a horse..how delightful. Meanwhile everyone else is now awake and no one gives a shit...and posters think this is OK.. you couldn't make this shit up.

Only on Mumsnet would people be sticking up for the noisy disruptive family.

Everyone who finds themselves on a children's ward will be worried, maybe scared, anxious etc but you still need to be mindful of other patients and their carers.

Order deliveroo, fine, but go and eat it in the family room/kitchen or wherever there is a canteen/cafe. Don't eat food that stinks especially that late at night in what is essentially a communal bedroom.

If they allowed two parents there may be good reason, their child might have significant health problems. But the one awake should have woken the snorer and told them to turn over, adjust their position etc.

Hospital wards seem to bring out the absolute worst in some people.

This 100%.

So sorry you are having to put up with this OP. I find that hospitals have rules but they rely on the good will of people to follow them which often means that some people will do what they want while the rule following people suffer. The staff don't enforce the rules because they end up getting yelled at and threatened etc. My then 12 year old was in hospital during covid. Me and dh would usually tag team a hospital stay because he is really good a keeping calm in an emergency while I am good at waiting around. But we were only allowed one parent in the hospital and we weren't allowed to swap. I was desperate to be with ds but he was unconscious and we had 4 upset children at home who needed me. My in-laws went to see ds. No asking me or dh what we needed. And the nurse let them go in and see him. I was absolutely furious with my in-laws. I could have done what they did and ignored the rules but I didn't.I

The family might have exceptional circumstances that means they both need to be there but it's !it's likely that they made a fuss about one of them going and the staff gave in and let them stay.

I lived in a hospital for a year with my child. Be grateful it's not that long and you'll go home soon. I hope your baby makes a fast recovery.

This^^

Not unreasonable. Those saying be nice they have a child who has been admitted- so do you and every other parent there so that's a bollocks argument. Then having 2 parents there, who are disruptive with no regard to anyone else should be addressed. I would be talking to the on charge in the morning, that you are disappointed that your issues weren't upheld overnight, and asking that they also follow the hospital guidelines. The eating, not much you can do, the snoring- if he's the parent that stays not much you can do, but having 2 people there taking and wandering about should absolutely be addressed.

A lot has changed and research showed back in the 50s and onwards children needed their parents.

I’m 45 my dad stayed with me in hospital when i was 5!. I’ve worked in hospitals 20 years and that’s always been a ‘thing’. We had beds for parents then and now.

Wards are huge nowadays with many side rooms and HDU beds and so on. There is no way staff could look after all the patients who would be alone…. and no to the original op who said that’s what they are there for!

Nurses are their to provide acute medical care. HCAs are there to assist that. Sometimes it can’t be helped that children are left alone but staff cannot provide constant 1:1 care for them 24/7.

I think the staff behaviour is shocking. Fancy allowing all of that!

And between 10am and midday the day after 😂

Thankfully they've now left and things are a lot quieter - hopefully we'll be leaving in the next 24 hrs too.

Appreciate the comments and debate. I totally agree on many points when it comes to wanting to be with your child when they're ill, and having to advocate for them. I'd never want to see a child without a parent. But kids this poorly need rest and sleep more than anything, and you need to be cognizant of that (and how you might be disruptive as an adult on a children's ward) not just in the context of your own kid but others, too.

That sounds heartbreaking. You must have dealt with so much - you really see all sides of humanity in hospitals. Sending unmumsnetty hugs and wishes for home being soon on the horizon

And between 10am and midday the day after 😂

It's nothing to do with you how much they sleep.

They didn’t used to allow parents to stay. It wasn’t a choice based thing.

If hospitals want parents to stay with their child, to assist with caring, they should provide proper facilities to allow this to happen.

I was in hospital as a child in the early 80s, my parents got sent home, was in a ward with other children, looker after by staff. Lights went off at about 9, it was quiet and everyone slept. Visiting was twice a day.

I was in with my Daughter, and the experience was not great. We are talking about sick children being disturbed constantly by parents, by alarms going off, by noise etc. It’s not good enough. There were 2 members of staff on, the night we were in.. nowhere near enough - I felt for them.. they rely on parents being there.

Nasty post. The poster clearly states that parents were not allowed to stay.

@Berlinlover so why is she questioning why parenting stay in the hospital with their sick children in 2024?

Tej delivery food and constantly talking loudly sounds horrible as does trying to sleep on a noisy crowded ward. People can't help snoring and there is often nothing they can do about it.
It's sounds horrible but I don't know what you expect him to control something that can't be controlled.
I hope your child is better soon..

I really fancy KFC now!

But yanbu. I would have definitely been raging in your situation

Seeds, you are coming across as very self centred and aggressive, which seems a bit much on an emotive thread like this. It's not what the op needs since she is venting about other self centred individuals she's stuck with in a stressful situation. I'm sure you must be nicer in real life.

OP sounds self centred too.

I've been in hospital tons of times. Experienced all sorts.
I've never thought of or commented on how much a stranger is sleeping.
If he snores he snores, it may be annoying but he's not inconsiderate.

OP is asking why he's sleeping so much.

PP is suggesting only parents who live hundreds of miles away should stay with their children in hospital.

The issue isn't the other parents. The issue is the way our hospitals are set up + underfunding.
You have patients grouped together, machines lighting up and bleeping through the night, parents sleeping on chairs, only patients being fed.

The issue isn't the other parents. The issue is the way our hospitals are set up + underfunding.
You have patients grouped together, machines lighting up and bleeping through the night, parents sleeping on chairs, only patients being fed.

I definitely don't disagree with you there.