Do I have a right to be annoyed?

[somewhatmiffed]

Two sisters
Anne - 55 years old, single, owns a house with 120k outright, works 30 hours a week,
Sue- 42 years old married with 3 kids, two are now adults one is a child and severely disabled. Have a mortgaged house £150k. Works very part time due to youngest needs.

When their mum died she left her share in the the house to their dad and bequeathed money to Anne and sue (50k each ) and each the grand kids (20k each) The adult twins got their money direct, the younger child's money went in a account for him. The twins were 18 at the time so they bought driving lessons/cars and did a gap year travelling plus some designer hoodies.

Dad has a mirror will so when he dies his children get 50k each, grand kids 20k each. The house has been left to Anne and Sue and any remaining funds will also go to them.

Anne has at times expressed annoyance at this seeing it as Sue getting 60k more. She feels it should be split 50/50 and then Sue give from her share.

Recently dad mentioned changing his will so it's split 50:50 to Sue and Anne. He asked Sue what she thought, she said it's his money , his choice but the twins would probably be upset as they have been previously told about the inheritance (by their grandmother)

Sue knows that Anne has been saying something as it's not something dad would just think of.

Also to mention Anne lives other side of country and visits 3 times a year. (Although does ring weekly) Sue cares for her dad - shopping/paying bills etc. visits a couple times a week, grandchildren probably see him around once a month.

Is Sue right to be annoyed for the Will is changed?

They ARE getting equal amounts.

@YellowAsteroid she moved away because she fancied living somewhere nicer. She has worked part time on and off for years. She owns a property that she rents out and she lives off the income.

It's not weighted towards Sue, she gets exactly the same as Anne.
What she chooses to spend on her children's education, cars, deposits, etc, are her own business and irrelevant.

As I'm typing this op has updated to say her children are in their 30s...
Guess the days of op having to spring for new trainers are well and truly over?

The year after she moved our mother became seriously ill she never offered to come back to help. I cared for our grandfather, my mother and now my father whilst navigating raising a disabled child. When my mother was seriously ill and grandfather was dying I had to give up work . I work part time now so I can look after my son and my dad.

Sorry to correct the eldest two are nearly thirty. My youngest is still a child.

You really resent and dislike your sister, don’t you @somewhatmiffed ?

Your DC spent their inheritance on designer hoodies and gap years, yet you call your sister mean.

Well I presume Anne doesn’t have a husband to fund her like you do. A bit more difficult for her to give up work …

Look, you need to understand that siblings make different choices about their lives. And that most parents accept this and don’t treat them differently because of this.

Maybe your father understands this and wants to divide his estate equally between his two daughters.

You’re 42 and your kids are nearly 30?

My late paternal grand parents have been dead almost 20 years, but because their two children had very different family outcomes, they planned for the grandchildren too. They split their estate between a son and a daughter equally, but because their son had divorced the mother of his first two children to remarry and have two more, the son's half of their estate was divided into shares so the son got whatever % and all his children participated equally. It wasn't huge money. My share was £3,500. I bought a picture to remember them, and spent the rest on that year's family holiday. Their daughter inherited half, and as she has only one child, that child will get more in due course.

No im 47 ?? I said nearly 30 but they are actually 27.

I don't dislike my sister

You claimed to be 42 in your op.

@S1lverCandle you are right sorry I mistyped that.

Not per family/household, which is the point.

Any monies left to Sue's children fundamentally benefit Sue.

And you have the choice to work part-time because your household has two incomes.

Ann and Sue both benefit equally from the will as it stands. End of. The fact Ann has no children is not relevant.

Even though the "children" are almost 30 and have their own households?

I thought it was a typo, just explaining why there was confusion.

And Anne can spend all her money on herself because she doesn't have children. It's irrelevant.
We all make different choices.

Sue isn't getting 60k more. She is getting the same as Ann. The rest goes to the grandchildren

Yes, it's really coming across that she resents her sister and this is just another thing to dislike her for.

I really hope the dad spends all the money on himself, on top notch care, cleaners, gardeners and living a good life. They can fight over who gets the good china once he's actually dead.

Your DC spent their inheritance on designer hoodies and gap years, yet you call your sister mean
What's the connection? Why is there an issue with how it was spent?

I'm sorry your life is tough caring for your disabled child.
I have to say just because you chose to have children doesn't entitle you and your children to more of your parents estate.

Now if you had mentioned that you cared for ill mother and now for your father in your op plus dsis moved away that probably put a slightly different light on things

This is an awful lot of money to be fucked off about. Be grateful, enjoy your remaining parent’s last years and stop squabbling over your enormous luck.

They spent it on driving lessons and cars.

But what's that got to do with it?