To have told son I couldn’t go swimming as I have a period

[Bouliegirl]

This morning DS8 asked if we could go swimming. I told him no, as I have a period. But we could probably got at the weekend. He was happy enough and shuffled off

My MIL was horrified that I told him this and said that I shouldn’t be talking about periods with a male relative

Yes. She’s a lovely person. Because we have different views doesn’t change that.

She doesn't fucking want to. WTF do so many on this thread assume they know the OPs body better than she does?! The arrogance and ignorance is astounding and hugely ironic when so many posts are saying a variation of "hey don't say that, women can do whatever they want ffs'. Yes...they can. Including the op. Infuriating to read

Eta I quoted the wrong post in my anger lol apologies to above-mentioned poster, not directed at you

I've gone swimming whilst on my period, but because I was on the pill and my periods were light and pain free I could swim with a tampon. However if it was a heavy period with a swollen tummy and lots of discomfort then I wouldn't fancy going.

This.

I can't quite decide who is the daftest; the MiL, the "eeww why would you tell your 8 yr old?"or the "I go swimming both days of my period so of course you can".

Agree with @Nanny0gg and @Laiste he’s only 8 and he already knows more than a lot of kids his age (which is a positive) she wasn’t required to go into any more details about how other girls & women manage their periods at this stage.

If she had gone swimming on her period you probably wouldn’t be rushing to ask whether she told him some women can’t swim on their period.

It’s like if I say “I’ve got a very sore head so I can’t take you to the shops” to my niece I don’t necessarily need to sit and explain to her some people can in fact leave the house and go shopping with headaches.

They’ll figure it out that some people can and some can’t, unless they’re as unimaginative or as lacking in empathy and common sense as some on this thread…

Only on page 2 but the amount of responses saying yabu because of course women can go swimming on their periods.

Apparently alot of women have no understanding or empathy that alot of us can't. Our periods are totally debilitating and what chance have we got when even women won't get it.

We're not having a jolly or are weak because of it- we are laid on a towel/ doubled over in agony/ hiding due to severe pmdd (delete as applicable).

Please understand that for some of us periods ARE very much like a horrible illness every month of our lives.

He's 8, plenty of time to learn women are different. Right now all that matters to him is he can't go swimming today.

of course MIL could offer to take him...instead of just twatting on.

Your son to future friend/partner:
Son ’I thought you couldn’t swim on your period’
Other person ’oh I can just use a tampon’

Problem solved. You have not made him think no woman can swim on their period. Just normalised it to consider and be kind about it.

I was honest from much younger with mine!

All the pp’s saying you can go swimming must be really self absorbed if they think every woman has the same menstruation experience as them.

@Bouliegirl cannot go swimming on her period.

@@Delphiniumandlupins · Today 16:04
I can't quite decide who is the daftest; the MiL, the "eeww why would you tell your 8 yr old?"or the "I go swimming both days of my period so of course you can".

Or the OH MY GOD NOW HE'LL FOREVER THINK ALL WOMEN CANT SWIM ON THEIR PERIOD - WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?? !! poster posters.

I'm with your mil. There's just no need.

Ah, the unbearably frustrating lack of reading comprehension on Mumsnet shines through once again. Imagine not bothering to check the OP's updates and instead choosing to be the umpteenth person to idiotically comment "bUt wHy CaN't YoU SwIm On YoUr PeRiOd, I cAn."

Also, given her child is a boy, he isn't going to have a period. I don't think he's going to suddenly go around shouting at girls that they can't swim on their periods just because his mum told him she can't do it, most likely because I doubt he will give that much thought to something he will never experience himself. Maybe there will be an occasion in the future where a girl says she is on her period and is going swimming and he might say, "Oh, I didn't know you could do that. My mum said she couldn't?" And the girl will reply, "Oh right, well I can." And the boy might ask OP about it and she can explain that women all have different kinds of periods. And it'll be the most non-event conversation of the millennium.

I probably wouldn't have mentioned it and came up with another excuse. It depends on the maturity of the child also. I don't think there's anything wrong with an 8 year old boy knowing about basic facts about periods but it's not something they immediately need to know about. My youngest is a 7 year old boy who thinks body parts and poo are funny topics, so if I told him about periods, he wouldn't really understand and I'd never hear the last of it. And though they are a normal bodily function, they are private.

@parkrun500club

Well, we're all different mine went out with a roar!!🙄🙄

I also had the 11month period about 3 times. I'd just about get to the 12 months, then 'ta Da 🙇🏻‍♀️

I often got faint when I had periods. (Yes, I saw a doctor: "Oh, it won't be that bad - even a teaspoonful of blood looks a lot!")

One one memorable occasion, I was alone in the house and about to do my accordion practice for the day. (Our poor neighbours!)

I recall coming over dizzy. I came to sitting on top of my accordion case. The case sustained a dent. Fortunately, the actual accordion was okay.

I've always been honest with my children about things like this and would have said the same to any of them sons or daughters.

I don't use tampons so I don't swim when I have my period because I don't want to risk doing it wrong and leaking everywhere.

Your MIL is living in the last century. If he doesn't learn about periods from his mum who will he learn from?

The OP didn't say 'No women can go swimming when they have their period' though, did she? I'm currently on holiday and have just spent the day at the beach wishing I could swim. I have horrendously heavy, perimenopausal periods which last 6 or 7 days. I might maybe manage to swim on the last day.

reread what she says

she can’t because she has her period

what do you think an 8 year old would then think about women and period and swimming

No she hasn't. She told him why she can't go swimming that day. It didn't have to turn into a lecture. It was a personal moment in the here and now.

Why not? Is he supposed to think that babies are delivered by a stork too?

to be horrified and telling you how to parent your son

doesn’t sound lovely

but each to their own!

Personally I'd prefer no-one sticking their hands down their pants in public. I know plenty of men that manage not to do this but I take your point.

I get angry too. That and menopause. Women in my youth used to talk about it as something disgusting to be ashamed of and that gave me an icky feeling. I now know that despite having some symptoms that can be a pain in the ass it's not remotely icky and talking about it openly removes that taboo.

Periods are the same. Why women shame other women over a perfectly normal bodily function I have no idea. It's almost like they had to have the shame and embarrassment so other women should too.

I think completely the opposite and my boys knew about periods and tampons from an early age. I don't think that one woman saying she doesn't feel like swimming on one occasion will lead her son to believe that no women ever can. After all some people miss events because of a headache but you wouldn't infer from that that people with headaches have to avoid all social occasions. I'm proud of my son getting his girlfriend a hot water bottle when she's on her period in a perfectly matter of fact way because IT'S NORMAL.

Right be honest and open about periods. And those saying you can swim with periods - Day 1 and 2 I can't - well maybe for 5 minutes and then I'd be attracting sharks even with Super Plus Tampons it is that heavy and unpredictable I need nighttime pads as well. What you said was accurate - I can't swim I have my period. There is plenty of time in the future for him to learn other people might be able to. Clearly plenty of people on here - mostly female I'd assume seem to struggle with the fact that some people can't swim on periods so we all need to be much more open an honest about how bloody awful and incapacitating they can be. Have had plenty of investigations and apparently I have to live with it - Roll on menopause!

Are you being serious?

'SHE can't because she's on her period'

....so he probably understood she was saying, unlike most here that.....drum roll....SHE can't.