To have told son I couldn’t go swimming as I have a period

[Bouliegirl]

This morning DS8 asked if we could go swimming. I told him no, as I have a period. But we could probably got at the weekend. He was happy enough and shuffled off

My MIL was horrified that I told him this and said that I shouldn’t be talking about periods with a male relative

I can't. Even the ones for the biggest flow do not stop me leaking. Clots come out.

Mine are ridiculously heavy. It's like a horror movie for three days a month. Those pads that say "12 hours protection" and are massive, bulky, long things? I can wear two and have to replace in an hour. If not, leaks are happening.

For your periods a tampon while swimming might be great. It's not the same for everyone.

And this is why they need to be spoken about honestly. Because if other women can't understand it, men will never stand a chance.

I am very open to both my daughter and my son about periods, i dont want him raised thinking they are something disgusting or shameful

There was a post not so long ago where women were telling other women that they didn't need to wear a pad as well as a tampon, as though periods are exactly the same for every woman. I have to change my tampon, the most super absorbent, every hour to hour and half. If not, it literally floods out. No, there is nothing wrong with me, and no, a moon cup doesn't help. No, I don't want to try period pants and no, I can't go swimming during this time. Hurray for you if you can! Well done for your fabulous menstrual system!

Shout this louder for those at the back please!!!

My DH is the same as you - no sisters but is bloody incredible and doesn’t flinch. This is how it should be.

OP of course you’re fine to tell your son. You MIL is a knob.

Not everyone can use tampons (or wants to). I was never able to swim while I had a period.

Your MIL is ridiculous as I'm sure you realise.

Urgh, sending solidarity OP. I knew from the first page this this was going to turn into a thread of women telling you off for ‘limiting yourself’ by not swimming on your period and telling you how to manage your own bodily functions 😩. The number of times I’ve had period underwear or mooncup yelled at me…

Me and most of my female relatives have crippling periods - I certainly couldn’t swim on day 1-3 of my cycle. At its heaviest, I literally leak (tmi alert) between getting out of the shower and walking to the toilet to put a clean tampon in. Apologies for the detail but I think it’s necessary to communicate the reality to those women on this thread who are fortunate to only have light periods and have been a bit judgy/superior.

And well done for educating your boy - that’s how sympathetic and caring husbands are made 👍🏻

She said "No because I have a period."

Not, "No, because in my case my periods tend to make swimming impossible, though that's not the case for every woman and girl."

There's a difference.

In the first case, she probably gave the impression that periods stop all women and girls from swimming.

In the second case, she implies that periods are not all alike, and the period-related swimming problem relates to her specifically.

You're willfully ignoring the fact that she's open with her son about her periods and so that was enough for him in this situation.

Take anything out of context and apply your own, you can make it sound as good or bad as you like.

Her son's understanding of his mother's periods mean that this was a fine thing to say.

Why am I unsurprised?! I think for your ds's future girlfriends' sake you're doing a sterling job making sure he's informed.

Get a moon cup and go swimming. Yes you should absolutely be teaching your son about women's bodies. Well done!

I’m sure you mean well but… not everyone can use a Mooncup or go swimming on their period

@mathanxiety OP has explained that her son already knows that she gets ill when on her period, migraines, so will understand why she doesn’t want to go swimming

@SwordToFlamethrower

not everyone WANTS to use a moon cup either. I really don’t fancy it.

Same. I have just flooded through into my leggings in m&s. Changed towel before leaving house 1 hour earlier (and wearing period pants too)

Also do you really want a tampon soaking up all the chlorinated pissy germ filled pool water inside you?

I truly don't think some women on this thread get it.

Us flooders can give examples until the cows come home, as we have on several previous threads, and the ignoramuses repeatedly tell us to wear a mooncup or that we're being overcautious wearing a super plus tampon in addition to a nighttime pad with period pants.

If you've never bled through onto your clothing within an hour of changing your sanitary protection, I'm glad for you. Please stop being ignorant about the fact that some of us do.

Definitely stop trying to tell us how to manage our periods, as you clearly don't have a frikking clue.

The 3 different 'cups' I've used have all leaked. Now, I'm sure they're good for many women, what with the recommendations from women they do work for but after drawing the line at inserting a rubber pint pot into my vagina to deal with the Niagara Falls of menstrual blood emitting from it then I'm not willing to leak from one again especially not whilst swimming in public pool!

I work from home when I have a period because of it!! have a male line manager and a male hr rep. Both totally understanding. Yet strangely other women on here are being very odd about it

hahaha

I love these urban legends.
I wish water just "kept it in". Suffice to say, I don't bother to take baths when I have my periods now. I have tried.

This.

because... they are not absorbant enough?

How hard to comprehend can this be?

Some women cannot even use tampons anyway.

god forbid a mother teaches her child the truth about her body.

It would be interesting to teach him about absolute idiots who cannot accept that their experience is not universal and others face different issues.

Past a certain level of stupidity, it's not worth arguing anyway.

I’d politely tell her that it’s the year 2024 not 1924. We openly talk periods in my house, it became inevitable after DD had to have an emergency blood transfusion after her first period wouldn’t stop! It’s been good for DS to see that women don’t get it easy and what they can go through in puberty biologically (and beyond) compared to boys

Once, when picking up DS3 from primary school at about 7ys old, he asked if we could go swimming & I said no. He responded, 'oh, are you on your period?' I said whatever I said (I can't remember) & we carried on with our day. There were loads of other parents & kids around & I remember thinking how it should be embarrassing but also, why should it be?

Absolutely normalise periods with your son/s! All of mine have bought me pads at some point & I've always talked openly about when I'm in pain/stressed from menstruation or ovulation. There was no way I would bring 3 men into the world who got weird around periods!

Even DFIL once told me 'ah just don't worry about it!' when I said I couldn't jump off his boat into beautiful crystal clear waters cos of my period. I said I had nothing to swim in anyway & he just offered a pair of his shorts & t-shirt. No shame, no stress. (I didn't tho, cos sharks)