Friend thinks I've been "sneaky " am I wrong?

[redredridingout]

It's my best friends 30th birthday
She is having afternoon tea on Saturday for her close friends and then a party on the night.
She invited my friend (who comes on nights out with us ) to the party on the night.
She doesn't meet my friend alone only with me.
My friend lives 45 mins away from us and 1 hour from party venue and also doesn't know anybody but me and my best friend at this party.
So I said she could stay at my house to save taxi fare and I would drop her off next day.

I've decided I'm just going to go to the afternoon tea and skip the night party - so text friend saying I wasn't going now.
Friend is annoyed saying she can't go without me going as she knows nobody and it's too far for her to get home /has bought friend gift and bought an outfit.
Surely that's not my problem?
And should be up to me if I don't go
Aibu ?

This is so blatantly a reverse 🙄 it would be much simpler if people just said what their issue was

Of course you can do what you want, but if you've involved others then you have let her down

I think you are being unreasonable if you have previously agreed to this and are now backing out.

Clearly a reverse 🙄

I’d probably be a bit annoyed with you but I wouldn’t have said it, so at least your friend’s being honest I suppose.

Actually though, I’d probably be relieved for the excuse not to go if I were the friend so I’m being unfair.

Of course you are being unreasonable! You've extended an invitation then pulled it back for seemingly no reason, leaving the other person out of pocket!

Is this a different take on the wedding one from two days ago? Evening do/ wedding breakfast.

It staggers me how some people ever get to have friends in the first place when they clearly don’t know how to treat them and maintain friendships.

You’ve been Rude to the friend who is having to change plans because you flaked, and rude to the friend who you’re ditching on her bday.

Unless there’s a very good reason, that’s not great behaviour.

A reverse?

If not, just think how you'd feel if your mate made those plans with you and then fucked you off with a few days to go.

This is a reverse of the wedding one, isn't it.

Obviously you can change your mind but your friend is also within her rights to be unhappy about it.
Sometimes I go on nights out that I don't particularly want to...because they are my friends and I know I will probably enjoy myself when I do.
My friends do the same for me

Why would you do that to your friend?!!! You invited her to stay at your house so she could go to the party then pulled out knowing that would make it difficult for her to go. Unless you have a very good reason for not going to the party I think you are a shit friend

This!!!!
You are completely unreasonable!

Wasn’t this exact scenario posted yesterday?

yabu if you've acted as described, but equally U if you're actually the friend and you've posted a reverse for some weird reason.

You've let her down! That wasn't nice.

You are a shit friend.

That's all that needs saying, to be honest. You've let down both the party girl and the friend who was going to stay. And you can't apparently see it. I'm going to assume you are 30 too, and I'm amazed that anyone can apparently get to this age without having basic manners.

Definitely!

If it is your best friends 30th unless you are sick or dying you should be going to all of it as planned.

You're a shit friend.

THIS.

You are letting BOTH your friends down !!

What urgent and unavoidable event could possibly have occurred for you to be able to justify - in your own mind - letting FRIENDS down in this way...

You aren't going to your best friends 30th Birthday party? Why?

Are you wanting to be fresh for the cinema the next day? 😉

So?

Reverse or not op?