Friend thinks I've been "sneaky " am I wrong?

[redredridingout]

It's my best friends 30th birthday
She is having afternoon tea on Saturday for her close friends and then a party on the night.
She invited my friend (who comes on nights out with us ) to the party on the night.
She doesn't meet my friend alone only with me.
My friend lives 45 mins away from us and 1 hour from party venue and also doesn't know anybody but me and my best friend at this party.
So I said she could stay at my house to save taxi fare and I would drop her off next day.

I've decided I'm just going to go to the afternoon tea and skip the night party - so text friend saying I wasn't going now.
Friend is annoyed saying she can't go without me going as she knows nobody and it's too far for her to get home /has bought friend gift and bought an outfit.
Surely that's not my problem?
And should be up to me if I don't go
Aibu ?

I can't understand how you describe the birthday person as your best friend but you have decided not to go to her party for seemingly no reason.

Yes you are unreasonable to offer your friend a night out and to stay at yours and then pull the plug because you have "decided not to go".

What was the wedding thread about?

It’s a dick move. An absolute dick move. You can do what you want of course, but when it negatively affects others then they can also react as they want and it is entirely appropriate for her to react with annoyance at your behaviour. Like I said, it’s a dick move.

Obviously a reverse, but yes, you'd be a twat to do that to your "friend".

You agree to do something with other people, you do it. Only illness or other unforeseen emergency are exceptions to that. Its basic manners and consideration.

So you invite your friend then renege for no good reason. That’s rude behaviour to both your friends.

I wouldn't say sneaky, I would say selfish ,rude and mean.

It's really rude to make plans with someone and then just cancel them. Its even worse to be so blasé about it.

Unless there's a huge drip feed coming, you're being an absolute arse to both of your friends.

Someone is trying to dump their friends

Did you mean flaky not sneaky?

Guess we just wait for the thread where the OP moans that she’s been wendied.

This.

What wedding thread is everyone referencing

Another vote for a reverse here but if not, yeah, you’re being unreasonable. If someone pulled plans on me in the week of an event, I’d not be amused either. And your poor ‘best’ friend - sure, you’ll do the daytime thing but not her big party? Well, I’d know how my bezzie felt about me after that, that’s for sure.

Yes you are being unreasonable by letting your ”party” friend down, You made plans and offered to put her up ! More importantly you are not going to your “best friends” party !?

I don't blame her for being a bit off with you. You've pulled out of a commitment - she was relying on you.

WHY do a reverse?! Why? It’s so pointless

I can't remember the name but the OP in that case was (supposedly) due to attend the evening part of a wedding only. Due to distance she would be staying overnight with her friend, through whom she knew the bride. Her friend would be going to the day and evening events, but had now told the OP she would be skipping the evening do, leaving the OP to go to the evening do alone, knowing nobody except the bride.

So a similar situation to this thread, but the other way around.

So is she still welcome to stay at yours after a night on the piss? Or have you withdrawn the offer of staying with you when you decided not to go to the evening do?

YABU

YABU to leave it this late to cancel on her and making plans with her.

As if you're not going to the party of your best friend, if you're not then yes, you're a shit friend and also a twat.

YABU - I wouldn’t say sneaky I’d say flaky, selfish, unreliable and a pretty shit friend tbh.

Very rude thing to do.