Inheritance question- AIBU

[PrincessCalley]

Hi all, just looking for some opinions on something. Don't want to go into too many specifics but there is only myself and my brother in family. Over the last couple of years it has become obvious that my brother is going to inherite all my parents assets when they pass (actually he might have gotten most of it already) In total it is worth about 2.5million.

Down through the years I have received cash presents totalling approx 100k from my parents which have been used to pay down debt. We still have a mortgage and car loans etc so still have the usual expenses. My brother owns his own home outright has a good job and doesnt depend on parents assest to make a living. The money has been very much appreciated but now I'm beginning to think it's been given to me to keep me quiet.

People (relatives) have started passing comments in jest along the lines of "you've no need to worry about money as you'll be getting half" etc etc and I've brushed them off with "ha ha who knows/I wouldn't bet on it" knowing I'm actually getting nothing. And I'm actually starting to resent saying this rather than telling the truth as people would be shocked.

Question is AIBU to feel resentful or am I being ungrateful?? Or am I within my rights to feel a little bit hard done by?

How do you know?

What makes you think it’s being given to your brother? Have they said that?

Have you seen the will?

Your parents can gift their money to whomever like like... (so YABU to expect half).

People (relatives) have started passing comments in jest along the lines of "you've no need to worry about money as you'll be getting half" etc etc and I've brushed them off with "ha ha who knows/I wouldn't bet on it" knowing I'm actually getting nothing. And I'm actually starting to resent saying this rather than telling the truth as people would be shocked.

Don't lie - be truthful

Why are you not inheriting?

In what way has it become obvious that your brother will inherit everything?

I know a wealthy family who leave to the male side of the family - extends to uncles who only leave to nephews.

I find it so odd - particularly when one niece in particular is the one who is always running round after them!

A huge part of it has already been signed over to him already. Had to be done before he turned a certain age for tax purposes. I didn't realise he had gotten it all.

There is no will for whats left (which is very little) but my mother told me today he'll probably get that as well.

But why?

I hope you told your mother that he's obviously going to be the one caring for her!

No reason apart from I'm not a male as far as I can see. I'm the one who they turn to when they need anything. And have always helped them.

Did you tell your mother how hurtful it is to be excluded?

Is it a house/castle or something?

I have mentioned this before that they shouldn't be expecting me to care for them if (hopefully not) it ever arises. But he won't. He's not the type.

I actually got upset about it today. I'm made feel like I'm being grabby though when I say anything. She told me I should be happy that I'm healthy and so are my children. I did say that's a load of crap as my brother is healthy and so are his children.

Not a house or castle but along those lines.

Farm?

It’s shit OP and doesn’t excuse such widely differing treatment at all

Well next time parents ring you for something your answer should be sorry I can't. You'll have to ask DB.

I'm not saying things should be done for inheritence. But if your parents think less of you then quite frankly why should you go out of your way for them?

Well then he can fund any care they may need should the time arrive. They can't expect you to fund their care needs if they have signed over all their funds to your brother. I'm assuming they have done this in order to Tey and avoid inheritance tax given the amount of money involved.

I would be having a discussion with my parents so they are aware that you have your own financial commitments which means you won't be able to support them.in old age should they need it. Very wrong of them to be expect help from you if they have given everything to your brother. And I don't just mean from a money point of view but if you end up needing to help care for them it can impact your family in other ways that extra finical support could help with.

Maybe you should have an honest chat to them and explain how hurtful their actions are. You've always helped them and yet they have massively favoured your brother who does very little to support them. Is this a cultural expectation? It's very hurtful and unfair. Leave your parents very aware of your feelings then direct them to your brother for future support. If he doesn't want to do it personally, then suggest he spends some of the money they have already given him to buy them some help.

If it's a farm, does your brother work it? I assume they'll want it kept running and in the family?

No he does not. He has his own income. He helps out a bit but he doesn't work it and never will.

If he worked it there would be no issue. As it would be his livelihood. Very different situation. It'll more than likely be set/leased when my dad is no longer able to work it.

Yanbu at all.

I think you should ask them some straight questions and then make some decisions on your future interactions with them, based on how you feel about their answers.

DC should be valued and treated equally, unless one has done something terrible.

Is it a pub (in an amazing location!)? Or B&B or something?

These things can be very difficult to split up, as they're property + business.

I've done nothing terrible as far as I know. Have always been there to help out when needed. And will rarely say no to them. Probably part of the problem. I am hurt by it all to be honest. It's not about the money at all. Just seems unfair to me is all.