Parents not watching their children at soft play centres.

[Crystalbabe]

Will start with saying I know some people are against soft play for other reasons. This post isn’t about that.

Took my little boy to soft play yesterday. A mum walks in with 2 kids around say 2 and 4 years old. She sits in the sitting area near the soft play and lets them in alone. They are both causing havoc, throwing toys down the slides which hit another child and at one point the 2 year old was trying to go down the big slide head first to which the 4 year old was shouting out to their mum and in the end as I was near her 2 year old boy I had to grab him for her away from the slide as she was shouting “can somebody stop him!”

My DS is my first child and I’ve only taken him soft play about 5 times, but these situations where parents don’t watch their kids and they cause issues has happened twice now (the other time was a 4-5 year old keep shoving a toddler in the ball pit with no parent in site apart from me who told the older kid to stop)

YABU - Parents should be able to let their kids go into soft play unsupervised it’s just one of them things, it should be safe

YANBU - Parents should be watching their children and not expecting other parents to watch their kids (lol)

In our local softplay I have rarely seen unaccompanied young children, but we have the parents leaving their teens in the baby areas, and (usually dads) chasing around their 8 years olds throwing balls etc in the soft play without paying any attention to the younger kids they push out of their way...

Soft play is a special place that turns children into monsters, and parents into idiots...

Most people want to go to soft play and abandon their kid and have a cup of coffee. But you can only really do this if they are older and sensible ie a proven non biter. I see parents of babies who expect to throw their baby in the baby bit then go off and have a coffee tutting and glaring at the toddlers for having the audacity to also exist in that space. But the younger and more vulnerable your kid is the more the onus is on you to watch them, otherwise they will get their head trod on.

Quite a lot of soft plays have areas for bigger children that parents can't see into every bit of and you also get parents of babies and toddlers going in and following their toddler around then scolding the other kids who are running around. These parents are a huge PITA and cause hazards rather than prevent them.

So, in short. I keep an eye on my three year old in case somebody steals her or she breaks her arm but I'll also look at my phone and drink my coffee. My seven year old can get on with it.

YANBU
I always used to end up watching other people's children for them and had to go and find a mum once because her baby looked around, couldn't see her and started panicking/crying. She was happily chatting and drinking coffee and had just plonked her child in a ball bit and walked off.
I have a nearly 8 year old who I wouldn't feel the need to watch any more, because I trust him to behave, but people should watch under 5's

I think it depends on the size of the softplay and age of the children.
In a small softplay my 2 happily go around themselves (2 & 5) I watch them from the table and will call them if anything is happening.
A big softplay one of us goes in for the younger one but the older one is very capable of going around on his own.

It drives me nuts. I usually take my 3 yr old grandson every tuesday where he plays with two little friends, and I..and the other two mums, follow the children everywhere... it's just as well I'm a relatively fit Granny because I go through tunnels, down slides, on trampolines...., not just for his safety but because I need to ensure he is playing nicely, not bumping into babies etc.. he's a sweet child but he's 3 so he's supervised.
We never go in the holidays because there will always be feral older ones. The 'holiday play scheme' means there will be kids up to about 11 being 'supervised' by a couple of bored teen employees. Most of the kids are lovely, but the ones that aren't are a menace.
Some of the childminders are also a it lax.. I get that they want to socialise but if they have several children in there they should be in there too! Ours is a lovely big area so plenty of space for adults to be with their kids!

Yes and no. My 5yr old DS is sensible and tells other kids off when they're not behaving well. I didn't let him loose until he was 4ish though, and still keep a distant eye on him.
Agree with babies/toddlers, it's a risk of them getting hurt!

Most people want to go to soft play and abandon their kid and have a cup of coffee.

Yep agree with this, so many are horrified when it turns out the responsible thing to do is actually keep an eye on their children.

You'll find it's the parents of the worst behaved kids who are not watching them.

If they do see their children punch other children then they don't have to deal with it- so they sit furthest away and hope nothing is brought to their attention.

I absolutely love the last bit….. so true!!

It was the two year old that was the issue. Under 3.5 they need watching, some a little later.

I think a lot of the time the reality is somewhere in the middle. Sure some kids are feral and have terrible parents, but the reality is 4 year olds don’t need parents following them and climbing all over the apparatus to follow them.
Often parents of 1 year olds are obviously more cautious due to child’s age and think the same level of hands on parenting is necessary or appropriate for older kids and it’s not. The whole point of soft play is for kids to have a bit of freedom.

Couldn’t agree more.

The parents with the feral kids (multiple, badly behaved bullies), charging through the baby area, are never watching their kids.

You can kind of see how a particular type of parents makes a particular type of kid!

Absolutely you shouldn't need to follow them around (although I followed my very nervous and tiny for his age youngest child for longer than most as he always got stuck), but you need to be vaguely aware of where they are in the structure and have an ear out for any trouble or arguments so you can quickly check that your child isn't involved in any bother.

This is my quote of the day! Off to soft play now with my dd as on holiday and its raining. Wish me luck!

We don't take our kids to softplay much any more because the coffee is awful 😂 but one of the last times, my 5 year old was pinned to the ground by a girl of about 7. This girl then performed a drop kick wrestling move on a toddler in full view of several parents. My jaw hit the floor. I wouldn't usually condone shouting at a child, but the toddler's grandad (I'm assuming) did not hold back. Nobody could work out who's child it was to alert the parent.

L

My dd loves soft play. She loves climbing and will be literally trying to climb the walls if she doesn’t get enough physical exercise plus she has made friends who are regulars there.
We started going when she was four so she hasn’t been in the toddler part much. Adults are discouraged from going into the main part, no shoes are allowed and they’re not allowed on the top floor at all. I do my best to keep an eye out for her but it can be difficult. Especially because some of the kids are so badly behaved/ not supervised properly.
I’m getting reluctant to bring her tbh. She was bitten by a toddler last time, hard enough that it broke the skin through her t shirt. She has had her cap stolen off her head, been deliberately knocked over by an older boy who was about 8. He was just going around pushing the other (smaller) kids for fun. One time a toddler wandered into their bigger kids section and did a big wee all over the floor. The mother said “sorry she’s potty training”.
Parents obviously should do their best to watch their kids, but unfortunately they often just don’t. There should be staff supervising as well tbf and they aren’t great ime.

There should be staff supervising as well tbf and they aren’t great ime.

They're not paid well enough for the abuse they'd inevitably get for telling parents to parent.

YANBU OP. I work with people who boast about how much they love soft play because they can let their "feral kids be looked after by someone else for a change". Naice MC people as well.

I do semi agree but I also think people with older children need to consistently remind them to be careful and look around them for younger children, and keep an eye on them to ensure they are doing this.

I have a 22mo and so am always accompanying her but so often I've had to grab her out of harms way because a 4/5yo has come barreling at her/into the ballpit right on top of her.

Obviously children get excited and it's great for them to run about, but everybody knows there is a mix of ages in softplays so I do think all parents should be watching closely to ensure everyone is safe.

@fitzwilliamdarcy

That’s true. Same reason I wouldn’t get into it with the parents.

At many soft plays, you physically can't see kids all the time, even if you did a ridiculous thing of trying to follow them through mazes etc. And if you have two kids, it's not possible to be in the same place at the same time. So to some extent yabu.

The main thing is for the kids to have not been brought up to be little shits in general. They get hyped up and out of view and the bratty ones can be mean.

If you see your kid being a shit, of course you should intervene. Not all parents do a good job, and equally that mother might have been at the end of her tether and struggling so just let them rip.

I just avoid soft play tbh

I wonder if you'll see it the same way when she's 4/5!

I'm probably missing the point but what's the problem with going down a slide head first at a soft play?

Kids will come into conflict wherever they go, it's something they have to learn. The parent might have gone for a couple of minutes to get a cup of tea - that's allowed surely? As long it's not the whole session.

I sit whilst mine are in softplay (6&3) but I always keep an eye on them and have no problem calling a parent out to sort their child if they are not being safe or being nasty to mine. If you still can’t get off your arse then I’ll tell your child to leave mine alone.

I agree to an extent, however when your child is 4 you will realise they are still very young and all the reminding in the world isn’t going to make it stick every time when they are running around a soft play!
Ultimately if a baby is young enough to get knocked over then they should stay in the young bit and be accompanied by their parent.