Parents not watching their children at soft play centres.

[Crystalbabe]

Will start with saying I know some people are against soft play for other reasons. This post isn’t about that.

Took my little boy to soft play yesterday. A mum walks in with 2 kids around say 2 and 4 years old. She sits in the sitting area near the soft play and lets them in alone. They are both causing havoc, throwing toys down the slides which hit another child and at one point the 2 year old was trying to go down the big slide head first to which the 4 year old was shouting out to their mum and in the end as I was near her 2 year old boy I had to grab him for her away from the slide as she was shouting “can somebody stop him!”

My DS is my first child and I’ve only taken him soft play about 5 times, but these situations where parents don’t watch their kids and they cause issues has happened twice now (the other time was a 4-5 year old keep shoving a toddler in the ball pit with no parent in site apart from me who told the older kid to stop)

YABU - Parents should be able to let their kids go into soft play unsupervised it’s just one of them things, it should be safe

YANBU - Parents should be watching their children and not expecting other parents to watch their kids (lol)

This is awful. I can’t believe the nerve of some parents plopping their baby down and walking off.

It's happened us so many times. They just don't care and I'll be honest more mums do it than dad's. Now I just tell them sorry I can't mind your child we are heading off soon, they have the nerve then to be annoyed

YANBU - some of these parents just let their children disappear way out of sight and they aren’t necessarily safe.

it means parents can have fun with their kids in them.

If it makes the lazy ones feel bad because they can't be bothered, too bad.

That sounds tricky. I will say as a parent with three little ones, I’ve been criticized for doing this - but sometimes needs must. For example, of taking my just rolling baby up from the baby area and strapping them into the buggy (so yes they cry!) as the recently potty trained toddler shouts “mom I need to poo now”. Brining the baby in arms to a scenario where I need to put them on a dirty toilet floor is riskier than leaving them alone in the buggy in the coffee area for two mins, within earshot.

My kiddos aren’t feral - but they are small/thin for their age and I find adults in kids spaces often stop them doing things I know they can do safely. Eg my three year old is well able to navigate the climbing wall to the big slide in my local soft play. Yet very frequently a “helpful” parent says they are “too little” (they are within the age range) or actually physically prevent them and I have to say “it’s ok they can”. Often they walk away muttering before watching and noticing I’m not joking. The child can do it safely. (The same happens with firemen’s poles and monkey bars in playgrounds). I get worrying but once the parent has reassured. That should be enough.

You'll never attend soft play again if you've ever witnessed how the poor underpaid staff deal with cleaning vomit and worse in the ball pit

Yet very frequently a “helpful” parent says they are “too little” (they are within the age range) or actually physically prevent them and I have to say “it’s ok they can”.

but understand you are the exception.

In most cases, the little one CANNOT and will get stuck or hurt. It's infuriating to have to get involved with other people children, but it's difficult to let a small child get into trouble and ignoring them, simply because their parents are ignoring them too.

The last thing anyone wants to do is babysitting others!

@Epicaricacy

it means parents can have fun with their kids in them.

If it makes the lazy ones feel bad because they can't be bothered, too bad.

If someone can't help themselves from running about a soft play full of young children then they are an imbecile. I am sick of seeing grown adults (mostly men) barrelling about these places where little 5 year olds are trying to play.

Parents sitting back while still keeping an eye on their children aren't lazy. They are using the soft play in the appropriate manner.

People have infantilised themselves and have to be involved with every single thing their children do. It's pathetic. I have plenty of fun with my child in the appropriate places. We bike together, we canoe together, we go to the beach and play in the sand.

Not jumping about a soft play like a total bellend doesn't make you a lazy parent.

@MinniesCountdown

Could not disagree more. It depends entirely on the child.

DD1 is 3, regularly goes to massive soft plays and is absolutely fine. Doesn’t need supervising, I don’t need to see her. Has been like that since she was 2.

If there is a bit she can’t do then she just finds another way or another part to play in

As long as you trust she won't be a bother to herself or others then I don't care. It's adults running about after children in soft plays that I have issue with. I wouldn't take my nearly 3 year old to a huge soft play because I'd need to be in with him. We stick the the tiny soft play in our community centre for under 5s and he can do the big ones when he's older and can be left to his own devices while I supervise from outside.

I think you've missed my point , parents have left their under 1 year old child alone with us in the baby section and just buggered off. There aren't strapped in and the parents are not within ear shot. We've been left to supervise a strangers baby , one time for over 30 minutes.

I think the point of my post was seeing if people think the same as me, it should be somewhere in the middle.

You are not a lazy parent for sitting down near the soft play, with a cup of tea but keeping an eye on your child. What I didn’t like was witnessing on multiple occasions parents not watching their young children (toddlers/babies) and having no idea what they are getting up too.

I was with my toddler whilst having to stop another parents toddler running and diving head first down a big slide and I had to tell him to stop throwing toys down the slide because his mum wasn’t watching him. Even after she shouted can you grab him! Up to me near the slide because her daughter was yelling at her that he was being naughty she didn’t even thank me for stopping her son.

I also agree grown adults shouldn’t be roaming around the soft play, I just follow my son and make sure he isn’t getting hurt by other kids or crawling down slides by accident

@Crystalbabe

What I didn’t like was witnessing on multiple occasions parents not watching their young children (toddlers/babies) and having no idea what they are getting up too.

100% agree.

Children that young should be in the small area where they can be supervised without their parents climbing all over the large frames where older children should be free to run about without stupid big men lumbering around.

If they can't, they shouldn't be there at all.

Someone could walk off with your baby in seconds, you wouldn't hear that. Take the baby with you, strap them in and let them cry, hold them while you juggle the others but don't leave them and walk off to a toilet, you have no idea who is watching your baby

I try to go early to the softplays and quieter but with the school holidays its a nightmare.

Last week an child around eight was trying to stop my 1 year old from playing. Trying to slam her fingers in the doors of the wee play ktichen (thankfully not able to do that) and also pushing her. Obviously told him to stop and he started arguing with me. Then later on tried to trip her up. Dont know where his parents were. But he obviously knew he would get away with it.

I know he was older but surely you should be keeping an eye no matter the age.

@Callmemummynotmaaa

Brining the baby in arms to a scenario where I need to put them on a dirty toilet floor is riskier than leaving them alone in the buggy in the coffee area for two mins, within earshot.

I can't understand this at all. Why is a dirty toilet floor riskier than leaving your baby with complete strangers? How can you have one child in the toilet and simultaneously be within earshot to hear what's going on where you've left your baby in the noisy coffee area? And, if you've strapped the baby into their buggy, why can't they just come to the toilet with you and your toddler?

What harm do adults in the soft play do? I always go in with my nephew because he wants me to. There is little fun in playing in a soft play alone.

The starting-point must surely be that not all adults can be in the frame with their child.

Or there will be no room for the children.

So expecting all adults to get in there and actively engage with their children is not only unrealistic but would probably put the whole soft play frame out-of-action for this kids.

My own take on it is as follows:

• U-18 months should be confined to the baby section.
• 18 months-3yrs - follow them round the big frame if you must, but it's on you to protect your little from the general fray, not for older children to moderate their play because there's a cute little toddler and a slow-moving elephant blocking their way.
• 3+ - they should know by now how to jostle and jump with the rest and, absent recklessness, unkindness or violence, should be left to get on with it.

Parents of 3+ should know roughly where there are, but when they get to 6/7 this is mostly knowing that they haven't in fact left the building. They should check in with them occasionally and address any misbehaviour that they witness or that is reported to them.

Obviously the situation is different if a child has SN and need a parent's support or has behavioural issues which mean closer supervision is required.

Most parents seem to know what their children can manage by themselves, with the exception of "weekend" dads ime who can tend to overdo it one way or the other. And all kids will have their moments, which is why I try to be tolerant. So I'll say "might you please remove your DD's teeth from my son's leg? I'm not sure he likes them there" rather than "STOP YOUR ##£&#@ BRAT BITING MY DARLING BOY OR I'LL SEND YOU BOTH INTO THE MIDDLE OF NEXT WEEK!!!" I find it's received a lot better.

Oh god, I don't miss soft play. The amount of either badly behaved kids not being watched or parents get arsey when someone tells their kids off was insane. One woman once left her BABY up the top of soft play whilst she sat with a group of mother's and an even younger baby out of sight at the bottom - this kid can't have been more than a year old and couldn't yet crawl. I was up there with my 18 months year old ds who'd literally just realised he could flap his hand, he flapped it causing air to drift near this baby and the baby started crying, the woman then came SCREAMING up at me about how nasty my ds was blah blah blah, and I was like, this lady is crazy if she thinks a gust of wind is nasty, just wait til she leaves the kid with some of the biters than often come in. One woman once also sat in the ball pit with her baby, at the bottom of the slide, and proceeded to shout at every single child to "stay AWAY from my BABY!" over and over and over. She was batshit.

@YouJustDoYou . Taking over the ball pit with a baby and blocking older kids from entering must be quite common as I've seen it a few times too 😄.

Do you go to empty soft plays?

Back in the day kids played with other kids. It's good for them.

If a three or four year old who isn’t yet at school is at a soft play during the week when it’s quiet what harm is there in adults going into the soft play and playing with them?

And forever it was thus.
There is ALWAYS at least one parent at soft play who lets their kid/kids run riot. Was happening in the 90s, when my kids were little in the 2000s and now. It's just part of the experience, along with the dirty ball pit and weak orange juice.
I always just saw it as part of the kids life learning experience. I did rejoice when mine outgrew it!

Largely empty, yes. During the day when the kids are at school the soft plays are very quiet. Ours is huge and there might be three or four pre schoolers in the whole big frame. If DN wants to play football or have a pirate ship ball shooting competition what harm is there in adults going in?

It’s also tremendous fun.

what harm is there in adults going in?

If there are literally 3 children in the whole place, none.

It's still good to encourage them to play with other children too, regardless.

Bloody Hell, they can play with other kids at nursery and at parties, they don’t have to be forced to play with kids they don’t know when they would prefer to play with a willing adult.