1 child families + holidays + I don’t want to watch your kids

[Theseers]

It’s a running joke in our family that we attract the 1 child family every holiday we go on. I have 4 teens/children and I’m single so one adult. Without exception over the last 10 years every summer/beach holiday we’ve been on a lone child has somehow attached themself to us.

Im not a cold hearted bitch, I had 4 kids so I wouldn’t have to entertain them all the time and I get that there are a number of reasons someone may only have 1 child. But that doesn’t mean I want to look after them on my holiday.

We managed to get to day 4 this year before it happened, a boy of around 7/8 edged his way over encouraged my mum. My lot were playing a ball game in the pool and involved him after he gestured for the ball. Fine, but don’t then roll over on your sun bed and start reading your book ffs. He was then attached to my kids all afternoon, the next day we went to the pool in the AM for a morning swim and the beach for the PM, family appears next to us on the HUGE beach and plonks themselves down 20meters away, immediately the kid comes over and involves himself.

Ive lost count of the amount of holidays we’ve ended up having a tag along whose parents seem to be having a lovely relaxing holiday. I have returned children to the parents a few times, but they either just come back or stand there staring at my kids it’s bloody horrible.

I can't see a problem with this at all. Kids often attach themselves to my children and as long as they are older than 5/6 (where more active childcare is required) it doesn't bother me since I don't need to watch them like a hawk.

If we need to leave or do something else, I just send the kid back to mum or dad. As long as my kids are happy playing with them, I can't see why it's a hassle.

I have three and am more than happy to have them playing with extras. Your kid/s enrich the experience for mine. Not everyone is as spiteful or insular as that PP XXX

Yes, agreed. Some see mums of multiple kids as self sacrificing martyrs who are happy to take on any children because it’s their raison d’être.

Why is it nasty? Unless you’re trying to fob your child off on others, it isn’t aimed at you.

It was aimed at anyone with one child who lets them play with other children.

Just do the same thing as them. And if the kids are getting too rowdy, just stare at her parents and shrug. First to blink has to go intervene with the kids.

Why do children with siblings not want to make friends? I have a brother and we used to always make friends with other children on holiday, none of the parents were expecting each other to watch their children. I have a friend in Germany to this day who I met on holiday as a 12 year old, we stayed pen pals, both practicing the others' native tongue. We met up a lot when I went to live in Germany for a while, and lived near to each other when she came to London to do an MSc, so socialised then, as adults the internet has made it very easy to keep in touch, we've met each others husbands children etc.

this is a really sad thread, some nasty opinions and ways of thinking about other people. No, parents shouldn't allow their kids to muscle in where they are not wanted, and no they shouldn't then abandon them to your care, but...

kids having other kids to play with on holiday, whether they have siblings or not, is nice surely? it's about having fun, and meeting new people? and if you do happen to be an only, it's more fun than playing on your own or with your mum.

I absolutely despair at some of the comments here, what a nasty society we are becoming if this is how most people think 😥

He was about 9. At a pool, with no lifeguard and multiple signs asking for children to be supervised at all times.
Now, I personally think that’s too young regardless of what the ‘rules’ say (our local pool says that children under 12 need to be accompanied at all times and I would never leave my 8 year old at a pool and then leave, as you are saying is allowed at your pool) but taking my personal belief out of it, the issue was he was encouraging my 6 year old to swim out of sight into an area too deep for him to be in alone. This meant that I had to take on supervision for both. When his parents were nowhere to be found at lunchtime and our food arrived, he literally stood staring at us while we ate.

I agree with this. I have lots of siblings, we supervised each other.

Some parents are feckless. Also children are drawn to fun and games. If that means a group of siblings or a parent or child.

When my DC were on holiday with another family, my DH and I took all of the DC for an ice cream. It was a hotel but not AI. A women brought he ds over in an aha moment. They pulled up a chair and gave their child a water bottle. Cannot remember what was said. Something like finally, (name) has been wanted to join the fun. Then walked off. I took followed her and took him back. She could not believe how "selfish" I was. I thought it was inappropriate for her to expect a stranger to supervise her DC.

Turned out, the PIL had been brought in holiday to help out. The menfolk had gone off, MIL had gone for a nap. This women wanted a break too. Holiday clubs are made for this reason.

Playing in the pool, park, beach or whatever is fine. DC will join in games together. I would expect the parents to still keep an eye out and fetch their DC back if the are being a pita or asking for things.

Well that’s weird because I wrote it and I never said that

I have friends like this and I think what you need to realise is that this is the laissez faire approach they take in their own house too. They're not expecting you to parent, they're expecting the kids to just play.

Yes we’ve had that a lot, especially when playing catch in the pool. The child in question never interacted with our child it was more us they seem to want!

Or they are just so good at it and can magically cope with anything. Not normal humans that get tired and emotional or sick exactly like they do.
I was told the other day ‘but I work!’ by a mum talking about tiredness. I work. My entire identity though was clearly ‘mum’

The issue seems to be poor parenting not one child families.

Jeez, some people are taking this incredibly personally and winding themselves up picturing their own child. OP is talking about hangers on and parents that take advantage of other parents, no mention of sneering at children who want to play.

I’m an only child .Whenever we went on holiday I was nagged constantly to “go and make friends” I didn’t want to, I just wanted to sit and watch or read my book or swim on my own so it wasn’t as if I was whinging or bothered.

OP's entire opening statement is about how only children wanting to play with hers is a family joke. Completely sneery tone.

I've always liked it when my kids have made 'holiday friends.' I didn't think I was expected to watch the friend though!

It isn’t about making friends. OP’s title isn’t ’AIBU to dislike my kids making friends on holiday’, it’s about how (usually only) children attach themselves to her family and their parents then simply assume OP is going to step in and oversee all the kids including theirs. While they sunbathe and relax knowing their child is being entertained by others.

As I said I’m one of 4, we regularly made friends on holiday which was lovely, but occasionally a child would attach themselves to us and mum would feel compelled to supervise (when we were younger), intervene in any squabbles, encourage us to include them, provide snacks for all etc and they even asked to come on trips out with us. I remember one time when mum told a child’s parents that unfortunately we wouldn’t be around to play today as we were going to a local attraction, their response was ‘ok, we will come too and bring X’ 😬

You're being disingenuous. It was clearly aimed at parents with one child who encourage them play with other children.

No. It really wasn’t.

I have an online child (he's 10).

We don't do holidays at big resorts but have done tourist areas in the UK and a hotel in Austria.
I have never palmed him off on another family and nor would I!
Last year, he played football with a few kids in the hotel garden. Me/DH were very close by watching him - I would never expect nor trust an adult I didn't know to watch/look after my son.

To be honest, we spend a lot of time doing things with him/playing with him - we want to spend time with him and he wants to spend time with us, so I wouldn't want him with other families for long periods.

Wouldn’t you save any kid that you see drowning and not just the tag along friend of your kids? I would, but it doesn’t feel like i am babysitting the whole pool.

This. How selfish and insular is society becoming?